When the Ocean Meets Fire
by ThoseSunsetEyes
Summary: What happens when you find out someone loves you, only for them to be taken away from you? Taz and Up from Starship- Starkid. Hearts stop when the Ocean meets Fire.
1. Anger

Taz wasn't angry at Up. She was extremely frustrated to say the least but she wasn't _angry_. She would have been angry at him;

Angry that he let his guard down,  
>Angry that he let the importance of his job falter,<br>Angry that he didn't turn around and shoot the dead-god damn robots and leave her,  
>Angry that he was such an idiota,<br>Angrythat he'd almost got himself...killed.

No- she had to be tough. She was tough. She needed to be tough. But she was angry- angry at herself;

Angry that she'd left his side.  
>Angry that she hadn't seen those <em>hijo de puta<em> Autobots.  
>Angry that she'd thought she could leave him and destroy them.<br>Angry that she'd screamed his name when one of them got hold of her.  
>Angry that she knew he would come for her.<br>Angry that she didn't tell him to look out.  
>Angry that she'd let him care about her life.<br>Angry that she let herself care about him.

Angry that she loved him.

He hated it. He couldn't fight it, he couldn't help it. He couldn't cure it, he couldn't fix it. He couldn't scare it away and he couldn't run from it. It was a part of him that he'd never even thought about being possible.

Well, maybe in his nightmares.

So 'it', though he was disgusted to admit it, was himself. At least- the right side of his body. Dr Space-Claw's 'project'- he shuddered at the thought. Everyone had thanked the doctor, saying what a wonderful good deed he'd done: to 'save' him. No one knew how humiliating it was to have to be coached in the gym by some pathetically patronising bimbo while the third-years sparred in the ring, high with the adrenaline of a fight. To watch as they whispered (they needn't have, it was so obvious) about him and looked with smirks and creeped-out curiosity on their faces, when he knew he couldn't even intimidate them anymore.

Well, no one except Taz.

He punched the wall, ignoring the pain for the first time in a while. She wouldn't even talk to him anymore. He didn't blame her; he'd let her down. She knew him as the toughest son-of-a-bitch ranger there was: someone that put fear into even the hardest lieutenants just by looking at them, someone to respect, someone who taught her the most important life lessons she knew, someone who she could come to at any hour (even if it was three in the morning) and show her only weakness- the nightmares she still had about her Quinceanera...but with him as one of the dead, someone who she could curl up with and fall asleep on after watching The Karate Kid, someone she...loved? No- he was being stupid. Anyway, if she had...felt something, it was most definitely gone now.

And he was angry that he'd let it go.


	2. Pain

"Who's that?" a new and slightly naive ensign asked his friend when a higher-ranking ranger slammed a red-haired ranger against the wall by the throat, even though she was a good ten inches shorter than him. She yelled at him in what the ensign assumed was Spanish mixed in with English before releasing the ranger, who was now quivering and somewhat resembled a scared rabbit. The higher-ranking ranger glared at him murderously as he stumbled out of the mess-hall doors.  
>"<em>Who's that? Who's that?<em> That, my friend, is Lieutenant Taz- the most bad-ass ranger there is, and the scariest. She _finished_ the robot wars, she took twenty Autobots down with three zapper pews to the leg- they say she can't feel pain! She was the first girl ever to train in combat in the G.L.E.E.-"  
>The ensign sitting across the table to the others interrupted,<br>"Chicks, man: they always take the slightest thing as an insult."  
>"Shut up, Krayonder" they said in unison, "she might hear you". However after the incident, Taz had merely taken a bread roll from the counter and stormed out, her dark eyes twitching from side to side suspiciously.<br>"Hey guys! Did you hear what happened?" Their friends Sam and Rachel ran up to them.  
>"We saw, but what did that kid say to make her do that? Not that it's unlike her, but she looked like she was gonna kill him!" The naive ensign's friend Paul asked. Rachel answered, "that stupid boy and his dumb-ass followers were talking about..." she lowered her voice as if Taz was still in the room, "Commander Up." The reaction across the table was a gasp, apart from Krayonder, who said confidently, "Pfft, Commander Up? I heard he went soft!" "Shut <em>up<em> Krayonder!" This time all four of the others yelled at him. "That's how the other kid almost got himself strangled". "But wait- who's Commander Up?" The naive ensign Joey realised he didn't know when he had gasped along with the group. "Oh dear, mate," Paul put his arm around his shoulder, "you have GOT to hear this story," and he told him what he knew about the famous duo of Commander Up and Lieutenant Taz.

Taz strode down the corridor away from the mess-hall. How _dare_ that pathetic nothing of a ranger say a bad word about Up. He knew nothing about him. "Stupid kid," Taz muttered to herself as she reached the gym. Up wasn't...soft. Just as the thought entered her head she had to swallow the sudden lump in her throat because as soon as she entered the gym, there he was: defeat in his eyes at a stupid set of steps that the _tonto_ that was supposed to be training him was making him do. Taz had to look at the ground and fight back the pain- _training_ Up? No- he was the one who trained people. He was the one who always told her to get back up, no matter how hard you get knocked down. She watched as he tried so hard to concentrate at moving his right foot up onto the step. She almost smiled when he stuck his tongue out just a little bit like he always did when he was thinking about something, but the pain hit her again. She walked over to the weights, picking up the next to largest one with ease. She wasn't going to think about him. She was going to ignore him. She turned to steal one last glance at him, and almost dropped the weight; he was looking right back at her. Not around her, not just a brief look because his eyes passed her direction when he was looking around the room, a proper look. And something else... was that..._longing_? Taz almost drowned in those eyes which reminded her of crashing waves on a pristine shore, and devastatingly beautiful waterfalls, and- she shook herself mentally, and was glad to find she hadn't slipped out of her normal expression of her death-glare. She couldn't let herself love him. She couldn't let him die. She was the reason he was like he was now, and there was no way she was going to let him do that again. It took all her strength to fight the pain of ignoring him, the utter heartbreak she felt when she saw his face when she didn't sit with him at dinner, the crippling pain it caused her not to run up to him and apologise until she was blue in the face, the painful pulls at her heart that happened when she knew he was outside her door at night (he always knew when she'd had a nightmare) but sighed and walked back to his room because he thought she was mad at him. Taz silently fought it every single day and yet it still existed.

It may have been three whole seconds before Taz realised she still held Up's gaze. She was about to make it look as if she was looking across the room for something, when he dropped the bomb on her heart. He. Waved. And. Smiled.  
>That was it- screw the pain, she was going to tell him- tell him how sorry she was, tell him how she wished it was her who got...injured, tell him how she wanted to help him, tell him how scared she was when he was lying there in a hospital bed with wires and tubes at every point on his body, tell him that the first time she had cried for eight years was when she saw Optimus Prime drop Up's body to the ground, tell him she wanted to kiss him when he first opened his eyes after the operation,<br>Tell him she loved him.  
>She was going to do all of it, but she couldn't. If Up cared about her in that way (which Taz knew he didn't) and if she let herself love him again, they would both die. So she did the only thing she could- she ran.<p>

It had hurt him when Taz went on her first mission without him. It had hurt him when he first got shot by an alien, it had hurt when Taz had first floored him in a sparring match (though he'd never admitted it), it had hurt when he'd seen Lieutenant Chambers kiss her on the cheek after an award ceremony (though she had promptly punched him in the face afterwards), it had sure as hell hurt on Qu' Onos when they'd cut him in half, and it had hurt him when he found out that he'd become what he had fought against. That might be in competition with how much it hurt him when he couldn't do as little as five sit-ups as he could before his injury, when he couldn't reach up and strangle that happy-clappy trainer every time he said 'well done Commander' in that fake voice of his, when he had to use the slowest setting on the treadmill for the first time ever, when he couldn't punch the little brats that giggled to each other about him and Taz's exact relationship right in those gossiping mouths of theirs. It hurt him that he couldn't be the...man Taz might have once wanted him to be .

But nothing hurt him more than to see pain in her eyes. Up knew she tried to hide it. Anyone else would see her as normal Taz, glaring at everything in sight as she lifted the weight above her head, but Up knew her too well not to see the deep wounds her eyes showed him. The sight of her teacher, the one who'd told her to get back up no matter what, struggling to work on some pathetic steps he knew hurt her to watch. He was a hypocrite, and he had hurt her.

He was such an idiot to wave at her like that. What did he expect her to do- forgive him after all he'd done to let her down? Did he expect her to jump into his arms and declare her love for him at one tiny wave? Wait- he stopped himself- what was that last one? Taz didn't- they didn't, um... they were just friends, right? Wrong, he answered his own question immediately: they were friends, from the moment he'd rescued her from those killer robots at her Quinceanera. But he'd let her down big time, so there was no hope of it going any further than it had been before, if it even ever got back to how it was before...

He wanted to run up to her and apologise, to put his arms around her and hug her until the stars came out and there was no one else left in the gym, but she wouldn't want him to. She was disappointed in him, and she would probably shake him off and hit him if he ever tried that. But then why did she run?

Taz would normally say something like "What are jou looking at, esé?" and get on with her work-out, jaw set. But she ran away. Taz never ran away from pain. Maybe she...no- he'd already established with himself that his love was unrequited. However-

"That's it Commander," Peter, his so-called trainer, brought him back to reality, "now try to lift your right foot a little bit higher... Well done, Commander! Um, hello? Commander!"  
>"Uh, yeah- the steps..." Up still looked longingly at the spot where Taz had run from- his eyes must have given him away because Peter looked at him sympathetically, "she's pretty, isn't she?" What? Oh, Peter was trying to make him 'share his feelings' with him. <em>Of course she's not pretty- she's frickin' beautiful <em>"I-uh... I don't know what you're talking about." Up looked down at his shoe, grunted, and started again at trying to work his robot leg up the step.

Damn it, he thought- it was obvious to others that he liked Taz (like, LIKED her). Maybe...if it was obvious to others then...Oh dead-god- the worst pain was knowing that even if she liked him too, he'd never find out now. 


	3. Regret

Alone in his room, Up cursed the fact that it was larger than most rangers' because of his Commander status for the first time. He was allowed back to the freedom of his own room, but he still had to check back with the base's hospital ward every two days to 'check his progress'. "Huh," Up snorted, "more like so Space-Claw can update his 'miracle project' and show everyone what a genius he is". Up sighed dramatically to himself; Taz would've joined in with his complaints about him, and would've probably made up some incredible plan to kill him, whilst humiliating him in front of the whole Galactic League. He chuckled, but then mentally kicked himself because he was letting himself think about her. _Again_.

Well, when was he not thinking about her? How she could reduce a grown man to a shivering wreck from the other side of the room, how she could make him laugh in the most unlikely of situations, how she looked into his eyes and knew there was something he was hiding, how she could make him open up like neither of them did to anyone else, how she was the only one on the whole ship who could floor him before his injury, and how stunning she looked even when she was fresh from a fight: hair sticking to her face, her skin glistening and breathing heavy. No- especially when she was fresh from a fight. Up thought back to the last time he'd seen Taz like that, and this time he really did kick himself. "Dead-God damn it," he muttered as he limped over to his bed, where he sat down and put his head on his hands (the right hand took a little more effort), "I should've kissed her."

"Right, rangers. This isn't gonna be easy," Commander Up started his brief to the ensigns in his team, who nodded amongst themselves, however his Lieutenant knew better, and she stood there with her jaw set and eyes ready for a fight. "Yeah, it's not gonna be easy... if you're a wimp like you bunch of girls! Look, Lieutenant Taz here _is _a girl, and yet she's tougher than all of you combined!" Up gestured to Taz who stood slightly closer to him than the rest of the team, and in return she glared at the ensigns, who were now looking sheepish. "So all jou ensigns better un-fudge yourselves, or else- what's gonna happen Up?" She looked to him with a slight smirk in her eyes, ready for him to say what he always did. "You've worked hard to get into this league, so show some loyalty! If you don't go out there and die for something, then I'll kill you for nothing!" Up finished with a glare that even Taz would've been proud of, and when the ensigns just stood there, he barked, "GO!" and they stumbled out of the ship doors and onto the alien planet they had just landed on, zappers raised. "I bet at least half of dem are gonna die by tripping over der own shoelaces," Taz tutted as she slung her zapper over her shoulder. Up chuckled, and looked out at where the ensigns had headed: a dusty orange plane surrounded by caves and equally orange and dusty rocks.

The aim here was to stop a gang of rogue robot thugs from destroying a town (well, that was robot thugs for you) by breaking into their hideout and destroying them first-easy. Taz took Up's hand and they walked out down the ramp from the ship and headed towards the cave. She'd been doing that a lot lately; holding his hand, brushing dirt off his cheek and keeping her hand on his face for longer than necessary. Once Up had even caught her blushing when he looked up from his plate at dinner and she was about an inch away from him. He wasn't complaining, in fact his heart went into overdrive and he was sure he was sweating already. "Uh, Taz? I was wonder-" "Shh!" Taz suddenly stopped and threw both their backs against the wall of a rock. They were deep in the rocky maze now. Taz dropped Up's hand to raise her zapper as she cautiously looked around the side of the rock. Up, following her reaction, readied himself for whatever was around the corner and got out his two hand-zappers. He leant forward, trying to see what Taz was looking at, but she turned around to face him. Their noses were centimetres apart. Taz gave him a confused look, and Up sheepishly leaned away before she whispered, "there are two robotas guarding an entrance of some kind- I don't know how those idiotas missed them." She rolled her eyes and Up nodded in agreement. "On three?" he whispered, and she held up her fist.

As Taz held up her ring finger they sprung out from behind the rock and shot at the two robots before they even had time to react, making them buzz and send out sparks before falling to the ground in a heap of wires and metal plates. Up looked at Taz- she hadn't even got a hair out of place (though she wouldn't have mattered if she did), and as they passed the robots lying on the ground Taz spat on them. They walked over to the entrance Taz had described, which was like a vault-style door, and Up broke the lock with two shots. They entered slowly into the cave, and as she looked up at the inside of the cave, Taz whispered "those robotas must not be in contact with the main league if their hideout is like this" and pressed their backs against the wall, which was more of a rock actually. This time, Up peered round the corner, and let out a silent sigh of relief: there were only four of them. This would be easy. He signalled this to Taz who nodded, and the pair were just about to jump out and attack when a laser narrowly missed Taz's cheek and hit the rock they leant against. The two swerved around and standing not five metres from them were four more slightly larger robots, arms pointed at them. Without two seconds passing Up and Taz sprang into action, and the air was thick with zapper fire. Taz crouched and shot up at the one nearest her, damaging its arm (the one without a laser, she cursed), and stood back up before it could aim at her. She spun around and was immediately faced with another robot, who she shot in the chest and then kicked to the ground karate-style. Up had a different style of fighting, relying on precision and not pure force like Taz; he got the first robot to the ground with three shots, one right between the ocular sensors, one in the chest, and one completely ripping its laser off its body. He was aiming a second shot at the next robot that he's just shot in the chest, when he heard it- the unmistakable whirring and marching sound of more robots. He shot the robot in the face, knocking it backwards, and spun around. He noticed Taz had turned around too, and they exchanged a worried look at what was before them: at least forty robots were coming from all directions at them (the robots they'd planned on attacking must've raised an alarm), and they too had their arms raised. They were surrounded. Without warning, Taz let out a battle cry, and shot the first row of robots down, "Oh, yeah- we mean business here, so do your worst jou pathetic hijos de putas!" Up couldn't help grinning, and turned to face the robots coming up behind them. He pressed his back against hers and they shot in all directions at the robots, slowly turning together to shoot at all sides, back to back. Up felt her dodge a few lasers against him, and he had to lean to the left or right a few times to avoid being hit, but they always kept together. The robots got a few shots in, but they were no match for Taz and Up. There must have been ten robots at the most left, when a loud and computerised voice sent a command to the remaining robots,

"Humans must not know of our plans. Destroy humans immediately. Self Destruct in one minute."

"No!" Taz and Up turned to face each other before looking at the robots, who had a glint of evil in their ocular sensors. They raised their arms, this time not at them, but the cave ceiling above them. "Run!" Up yelled, and they sprinted towards the metal door, shooting and knocking robots out of their way as they went. Taz shot at one robot and was immediately faced with another on the other side of her, so she had no choice but to punch the robot square in the face.

Up looked behind him and saw that Taz was behind him by quite a long way because she was stuck behind a 'dead' robot, arm bleeding and cursing in Spanish. He started to run towards her, and she shouted, "No! Up, go! Get out of here, I'm fine!" He didn't stop running, "No you sure as hell aren't," she said as he reached her. He yanked the robot off of her leg, but it left a deep gash on her calf where it had trapped her. Taz winced at the sight of it, but started forward again, saying "Come on, Up! The cave's gonna collapse!" but before she'd even stepped forward her leg went limp and she stumbled forward, clutching Up's shoulders as she fell. "Let me carry you!" Up shouted, but Taz shook her head and defiantly went to stride forward again, "I said I'm fine!" She yelled, but the robotic voice spoke again, this time patronising: "Total Destruction in twenty seconds."

Up looked at Taz trying to limp forward, and he looked back at the robots, arms raised at the roof of the cave not two metres from their heads, "Bullshit," he said, and scooped Taz up into his arms, and then onto his back. She yelled and kicked him, but her leg was too bad to do any damage. He sprinted for the metal door, his stride double what Taz's would've been, Taz clinging to his back. He had to jump out of the door to escape the crumbling rock from inside the cave, and then ran around the corner and back the way they came, out onto the dusty ground. He gently lifted Taz off his back and set her next to him, his arm supporting her as she stood. They turned and looked back at the maze of rocks they had just come from, and saw a huge fireball erupt from where the cave was, followed by the low but deafening crumbling sound of the surrounding rocks as they too were destroyed. They were lucky to be alive. Up looked at Taz, who was watching the rocks in awe, her mouth a perfect 'o'. She had blood spattered on her face, her tank top was stained with dirt, sweat and blood from her arm, which had a long but shallow scrape across it. Her camouflage combats were ripped and had a dark red stain where the gash was on her leg. Her hair stood up at all angles and was partly trailing down her neck where it was longer. Beads of sweat were forming on her forehead and her eyes were still alive from the adrenaline rush of a fight. She was perfect. She looked back at him cautiously, aware that he was staring at her, and questioningly opened her eyes wider as she looked at him. Up scratched the back of his neck nervously, and thought about what he was going to say, before resorting to saying, "Look, uh... I'm sorry I carried you when you asked me not to... It's just- We- I didn't want to leave you Taz." He put his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him, and decided to stretch her luck: "Why didn't jou want to leave me Up? She asked carefully, and she realised that they were inches apart, her head tilted up towards his. He was trapped- what did he tell her now? Not that he cared too much about her to let her go, not that if she'd died, he wouldn't be able to function anymore. He looked into her dark chocolate brown eyes and wanted to close the gap between them, but he didn't. "Uh, because you're the best dead-god damn lieutenant there is!" He dropped her gaze and stood up straight, and he was sure he saw a little disappointment in her face as she looked down. But Taz wouldn't ever be seen as weak at some tiny little emotion, so she raised her head and put her arm around his waist to steady herself as they slowly walked back to the ship together.

They found that miraculously three ensigns had survived (only because one of them had gotten injured and they thought it was sensible to bring two people back to the ship with him). "How de hell did jou get injured? All de robotas were with us!" Taz said to the ensign who was in the hospital wing when they walked in. He mumbled something inaudible. "What?" Up asked as he helped Taz to sit down on one of the beds, "I tripped...over my shoelaces." There was a pause before Up and Taz simultaneously roared with laughter, but when the ensign showed them a simple graze on his knee, they stopped. "You left the team for _that? _A stupid graze? A little girl could carry on with that! You idiot! Men died today in there! Get out of here and start training for the next mission- there will be eleven hours of hard training tomorrow and you better not break so much as a sweat, or you'll have a lot more to worry about that that pathetic so-called injury! GO!" Up roared at the ensign who scrambled off the bed and ran out of the door. "What an idiota," Taz said, and Up started to look at her wounds, cleaning to blood off her arm and face, and then carefully dabbing at the gash in her leg. Every so often he looked up at her to check if he was hurting her, but her face stayed the same. When he'd wrapped a bandage around her leg, he stood up and smiled at her, "How're you feeling, soldier?" she said nothing but surprised him when she pulled him next to her and into a tight hug, her arms over his shoulders and clasped behind his neck. He hesitated for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around her waist, and she leant her head into his neck and whispered, "much better, gracias."


	4. Pride

Taz's shoulders were shuddering, and she could feel the tears beginning to well in her throat, which made her run even faster. No one could see her crying- there was only one person alive that had seen her crying, and she certainly didn't want him to see her now. She reached her door, literally punched in the combination, ran inside, slammed the door behind her, fell back against the door and slid down to the floor, her head hanging low with her arms crossed over the back of her neck. She let out what she'd been holding in as she'd run through the corridors: thick, burning tears cascaded down her cheeks and dropped onto the floor; each one dropping dramatically as if to make the point of what she was doing even clearer. Unlike the point her tears were trying to make, Taz wasn't dramatic. She didn't howl at the top of her lungs like some stupid wimpy girl, she didn't rub her eyes pathetically, she didn't even make a sound- she just let the tears fall. That way no one would know, no one would come and find her and no one would try to comfort her.

After a few minutes the tears had dried up. Taz sniffed determinedly, and hauled herself up off the floor. She slowly walked over to the sink in the small bathroom her room had, and splashed her face with water, the cool liquid clearing her senses. She breathed in deeply, but then she realised. "Mierda," she cursed, punching the bathroom wall- she was letting herself go soft, over _him, _and she had already made an oath with herself that she would never do that. So throwing a disgusted look at herself in the bathroom mirror, she pushed herself away from the sink, out of the bathroom and out the door into the corridor again, letting out a 'hmf' as a mixture of anger and determination as she went.

Two turnings before the gym, Up began to enter her thoughts again. _What if he's still in there?_ She thought as she glared at an ensign who scuttled past her. _That doesn't matter- jou are going to go in der and work out, and jou are __only__ going to do that. Jou won't even know if he's looking at jou, because jou won't be looking at him. Endender? _Taz bullied her mind until she reached the doors of the gym. _Here we go again..._ she thought, but maintained her glare as she strode into the gym, and walked straight up to the treadmills. "Move. Now" she growled at the private who was on the treadmill nearest her; unfortunately all of them were being used, but that wouldn't stop Taz. As the private walked away, trying (and failing) to hide his fear of the Lieutenant, she stepped onto the treadmill, set it to the middle speed, before quickly working up to the top. She kept her head up, jaw set and eyes forward. Taz tried to convince herself that she was making an effort on concentrate on her running, but she knew all she was doing was trying not to look to see if Up was there. She ran harder, mentally shaking her head, not wanting to give anyone any sign what so ever that she wasn't thinking purely about the treadmill. However inside, she was using all her strength not to turn her head, not to remove her eyes from the drab grey wall in front of her to look at the spot he had been when she was last in the gym. She felt like clawing at her skin and screeching at the top of her voice as each side of her heart battled against one another- the one that wanted so desperately to tell Up how she felt, and the one that cared too much about him to get him killed by trying to protect her like last time. Both so similar and yet Taz felt like she was being ripped in two by them...She ground her teeth together- had she really just thought that? If there was ever a time not to think that it was now. Immediately visions of Qu'Onos came back to her, and she almost broke her glare, but she mentally shook herself and forced herself to run faster, grinding her teeth so much it began to hurt. Taz was now so deep in concentration she almost fell off the treadmill when she heard a voice. No, not just any voice- the voice she'd been hearing in her head for weeks, the voice she had dreams about every night, the voice she had wished to hear- _his _voice.

"Uh, hi Taz!" You idiot, Up- how can you just be all cheerful when she looks like she could kill something in a second? Why are you even talking to her? When Up had gone back to the gym after his allocated 'rest' from Peter's patronising 'work-out', Up had been sure he was going to focus on the steps this time. However he had found himself immediately stand up when Taz had entered the gym, despite the calls from Peter for him to come and finish the exercise they were working on. He'd seen that she'd been crying as soon as she'd climbed onto the treadmill. Up knew her so well that he even woke up in the night knowing that she'd had a nightmare. He coughed awkwardly and scratched at the back of his head, but then looked her trying to avoid his gaze, and decided to try a more formal approach: "You seem to be working well, Lieutenant; are you preparing for a new mission?" He kept his voice fairly monotone, but he was dreading the answer was yes. He certainly didn't expect the answer Taz gave him, though: "Thank you, _Commander_," she spat out the word like it was one of a robot's, "but I am not allowed to go on missions for another eight months."

_Lieutenant. _Taz felt her heart sink as he called her that. He was trying so hard to get her to talk to him, and Taz knew he didn't want to upset her. Again she had to grind her teeth together before she answered. "Thank you Commander, but I am not allowed to go on missions for another eight months." She had intended to make him think she felt nothing for him, but not to sound so..._angry_. She felt so sad and yet it had come out to Up as anger. Since Qu'Onos Taz hadn't been allowed to go on any missions because the Galactic League thought she might be 'affected by the scenes of war'. It was eating her up inside that she was thought too weak to go on missions- they weren't even that big now the robot wars were over! That's right- she was angry because she wasn't getting to shoot stuff as much. Yeah...that was it. She continued to run, avoiding Up's gaze until he spoke again, the hurt so clear in his voice it was like Taz had stabbed his heart: "Oh. Right, of course." He walked away, pushing his trainer away even though he was limping, and started towards the door. "Goodbye...Commander." Taz still couldn't bring herself to say his name, and with all the whispering ensigns and privates in the gym, it would probably make her do something stupid like stab yet another ensign in the back, and she didn't want to be expelled. Up turned, and she nearly broke down when he gave her the slightest of sad smiles.

"Right! Now that you're done talking can we get on with his exercise?" Peter said sarcastically as Up walked back to him. The look on his face might have been funny on any other day as Up walked right past him and towards the door, but he needed to get back to his room as soon as possible; he couldn't face Taz anymore. He felt like such an idiot: she obviously didn't want to talk to him, and he had completely forgotten that she wasn't allowed on missions either. It was all his fault that she wasn't allowed to do the thing she loved and he just rubbed her face in it. He had almost reached the door when he heard her voice. "Goodbye...Commander," this time her words were much softer, and despite there being two dozen other rangers chattering away in the gym, he heard her clearer than any of them. Up realised he had tears forming along the rims of his eyelids, and blinked them away before turning to Taz and saying

"Goodbye...Taz." And with that Up limped out of the gym, his toned shoulders hunched over. Taz slowed the treadmill to a stop and had to close her mouth which had fallen open to an 'o'. The pain in his voice made her want to scream or break down in tears, and run after him to tell him how sorry she was, and that she didn't mean to be so angry at him, but she looked around at the small clusters of whispering ensigns who turned to look at her as she stared after Up, and swallowed her feelings yet again, painfully.

Because she was too proud to do that.


	5. Relief

"Commander?" Even his knock was irritating. Up had sat motionless for three hours straight, and it was now way past dinner. Peter had come to try and make him feel better- yeah, right; there was only one person who could ever make him feel better, especially at a time like this... "Commander, you have to eat something or you won't have your strength for tomorrow! We missed _quite _a bit of our work-out today, so_ I_ took the liberty of booking us another session tomorrow! Isn't that great?" Up stayed silent and motionless, except for the fact that his hands curled into fists, making the sheets on the bed twist beneath his fingers. He didn't want to talk to anybody, and certainly not Peter.

Anyone would think he was overreacting; that he was just being 'emotional because of his recent injury' as he had heard nurses frequently saying to anybody who came to ask how he was. But this wasn't about him. He had failed Taz and now she was never going to get the same respect as she had loved before. She was always going to be tied to him: the tough son-of-a-bitch commander turned little girl. She wasn't even allowed to go on missions for months because she'd seen _him_ get torn in two. He'd watched her grow from a scared and grieving 15-year-old in a torn Quincenera dress into- well...the best dead-god damn lieutenant... and friend... he'd ever had. And now she was back to just working out in the gym again; it was like she was back at the academy _training_ to be a ranger. He hated to see her getting so bored, and he hated it even more that it was his fault.

So no: it wasn't the fact that he was 'scarred by the horrors of his injury', or 'just needed someone to talk to about his feelings' like he'd heard Peter say to another of his patronising trainer friends. It was because it had hit him that his one true friend in the whole of the Galactic League didn't want to know him anymore, and when he was going to tell her... never mind. His thoughts were rudely interrupted, _again,_ by that annoying knock and matching voice, "Hey, Commander! I brought you some pizza!" That idiot didn't take a hint, did he? Up got up off the edge of his bed, and stalked over to the door. "Come on, Commander! I you'd like we could watch a movie or something?" That was the last straw: Up yanked open the door so Peter almost fell into him, but immediately shrunk back when he saw Up's face. Up stood up to his full height and glowered at Peter, who looked like he was using the plate of pizza as shield. "Commander, I'm sorry... I just thought you might want- I mean, you seem so, uh. I just thought that you might need cheering up." Peter finished and seemed relieved that he'd found what he thought was a suitable excuse. He'd thought wrong.

"What in dead-god's name made you think I'd want to talk to _you_?" Up snarled at him and leaned forward slightly, eyes boring into Peter's intimidatingly. "Uh, well... we're friends aren't we? And we could watch a movie! What's your favourite?" Dead-god that man was too optimistic for his own good, "Peter, can I make something clear to you now?" Up softened his voice and Peter nodded, obviously thinking that he had made Up talk about his feelings, "we," Up made a circle between himself and Peter with his hand, "will never be friends." Peter's expression changed almost comically, "and how dare you even suggest that I would want to watch a movie with _you"_ Peter momentarily looked confused at how Up emphasised the 'you' but then quickly regained his look of fear when he looked back at Up and stuttered a "see you!" before blatantly running away. Up leant against the doorframe and threw his fist down on the wood, "patronising git!" he wasn't even pleased that he'd managed to reduce a man to a stuttering wimp for the first time in what seemed like an age, "how dare he ask if I'd like to watch a movie," he didn't even care that technically it wasn't fair on Peter; no one knew that Taz and him watched _The Karate Kid_ almost every night, "sure I'd like to watch a movie, but only with Taz. And _that's_ never gonna happen," Up sighed and pressed his head back against the doorframe to push himself back to standing. He paused before walking into his room and closing the door behind him, "as much as I love her, it's never gonna happen."

It was only a mumble but she heard it. She heard it clearer than Commander Hibbart's screaming at the third-years in the gym down the hall. As soon as she'd passed that bumbling idiota Peter, looking like he'd just been slapped in the face (she'd made a mental note to congratulate whoever had done that if it was the case), she made her way down to the end of the corridor and went to see if there was anything going on. She had to quickly shoot backwards behind the wall when she came to turn the corner though, when she saw Up leaning against the doorframe of his room, thankfully not looking her way. _Idiota, _she mentally snapped at herself, _why didn't jou remember Up changed rooms nearer to the hospital wing?_ She pressed her back against the grey wall of the corridor and was about to walk away when she heard Up talking to himself. Taz never thought out loud but Up had always talked to himself, especially when he felt strongly about something. So Taz kept leaning on the wall and turned and pressed her hand and the side of her face against it, listening.

"Patronising git," she heard Up mutter and she then realised Peter had been running away from Up. She smirked, wondering how Up had finally given that hijo de puta what he deserved. And even if Peter was just a wimp and Up had probably just asked him to go away, she felt surprised that he was reflecting at least some anger on people now- she'd only seen him wince away from people who'd upset him after his accident, so what the hell did Peter do to him? Up answered her next question as soon as she'd thought it, "how dare he ask if I'd like to watch a movie," Taz was immediately enraged- as if Up would want to watch a movie, "sure I'd like to watch a movie," she momentarily thought herself wrong before Up continued, "but only with Taz- and _that's_ never gonna happen," Taz felt a pang of guilt deep in her stomach. She'd wanted to make him stop caring about her so he wouldn't get hurt before, but now she saw that she'd just made him worse. When she heard him sigh, and she heard to door creaking open wider she assumed he'd gone inside. Again she went to move away from the wall, but froze at the sound of his voice- this time not so much in fear of being caught, "as much as I love her, it's never gonna happen."

It was only a mumble but she heard it.

_Mierda_, Taz thought as she yet again went over what Up had said earlier that evening. Well, no- it wasn't really the evening. She looked at the small digital clock on her bedside table: 01.23. She groaned and rolled over for what seemed like the millionth time since she'd got into bed. _I must have misheard it, _she nodded in agreement with herself. She rolled over yet again, putting her hands to her head and twisting her hair in her fingers. _No, he definitely said it, _she thought, and screwed her eyes shut in frustration, before snapping them open with an idea: _That's it- he loves me like a friend loves another friend, _she let out the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. _He loves me...as a friend. _

Taz fell asleep disappointed.

Up woke up instinctively when he felt it; the same feeling he'd always had when he knew Taz was having a nightmare. He didn't know how to describe it, and he didn't know why he knew, but he always did, and this time it was really clear, so Up knew it was a particularly bad nightmare. He went through the same routine he did every time he felt it: his eyes snapped open, he leapt out of bed and threw on a dressing gown, and strode over to the door (only recently it'd been a limp over to the door). This time he paused and thought about earlier in the gym, how she'd not wanted to talk to him. He debated a little longer before shaking his head and opening the door, "you can never give up caring for her, Up, she's too important to lose." He whispered to himself as he quietly shut his door and cautiously stepped down the corridor towards Taz's room, knowing the way by heart.

Taz woke up breathing heavily, covered in sweat and shivering. She tried to shake the images of the nightmare she'd just woken up from, but the shivers persisted. This time it wasn't mixed-up flashbacks from her Quincenera- bodies littering her front lawn, her mama and papa and hermanos, with the addition of Up's, but it was Qu'Onos. She hadn't told anyone that she had nightmares about it, and Up still thought her nightmares were of her Quincenera, but these were worse than that. She sat up and twisted so she was on the edge of her bed, toes gracing the cold floor, and put her head in her hands. She couldn't have gotten even two hours sleep. A harrowing thought crossed her mind and she began to panic, _what if it wasn't just a dream._ Her nightmare had been images of the left side of Up's body as she tried to scream for help, but no one could hear her. Then she was in the rehab clinic being told Up didn't survive the operation. Taz held back the urge to vomit, and decided she needed to know for sure if he was still alive. The nightmare had been so vivid this time, so real. She leapt out of bed and hurried towards the door, yanking it open only to some face-to-face with the man who had just died in her nightmare.

She was so relieved that she suddenly found herself in Up's arms, sobbing.

Up listened intently at Taz's door, wondering if she'd gone back to sleep. Normally he heard nothing, and before his accident he would've gone in anyway and curled up next to her so he could be there if she had any more nightmares. She never did once he was in there, but he always stayed. Recently he'd been hesitating at her door, coming to the conclusion that she wouldn't want him in there, so he was taken aback when she flung open the door with eyes as red as her bandana, and he suddenly had a tiny Mexican woman in his arms.

Without needing to think, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to her bed, setting her down so gently it was like she never left his arms. He leaned away to stand up but she still had a hold of his shirt, so he sat down next to her and put his arms around her hesitantly, casting a cautious look at her.

"Lo siento, lo-lo siento m-mucho," Taz gulped through sobs, still holding on tight to Up's shirt, which was now getting damp with her tears.

"What are you apologising for, Taz? I've never seen you like this," he asked gently. Taz sniffed and looked up at him, her eyes wide with worry, "I've been so horrible to jou, Up! I should be there for jou, and you must think I'm so mad at jou because of how I've been ignoring jou and I know it's my fault that jou're having to do estupida exercises with Peter when jou could be doing missions and I was trying to make jou stop caring about me so jou won't get hurt but I can't not be around jou, Up, and I-"

"Taz," Up said, in almost a whisper but it silenced her, "I am never," he stroked her hair and then rested his hand on her cheek, "going to stop caring about you." He looked deep into her eyes. "But jou got hurt trying to save me- what if it happens again? I can't risk dat" Taz shook her head and leaned slightly away from Up. He immediately pulled her back, moving his hand down to her shoulder and looking her sternly in the eye. "It was never you're fault what happened to me- don't try to argue it," Up said when Taz tried to protest, "and it wasn't my fault either. We both know whose fault it was," Taz snarled at the thought of the robots, "but with the robot wars over, we won't need to worry because we'll look out for each other," Taz looked back at Up and her expression softened, "Okay," she said, looking down at Up's hands on her shoulders. Up saw her turn slightly pink when she looked up and they were a hair's breadth away from touching noses. He was suddenly aware of how easy it would be to close the distance between them, but he was so relieved he'd only just got her back as a friend- he didn't want to risk losing that if she didn't feel the same way. "So was it your Quincenera again?" he asked, referring to the nightmare, and replacing his hands on her shoulders with an arm around them. "No," she said, obviously sleepy now, "Qu'Onos," Up looked down at her in shock, and she clamped a hand over her mouth, "Oh dios muerto, Up- I didn't mean to-" "Shh.." Up said, leaning his head on the top of hers, "that doesn't bother me now." Taz relaxed in his arms. "I didn't know you had nightmares about it though," he said quietly, "I don't think I will anymore," Taz replied, and leant her head against Up's chest.

After a few minutes of contented silence in the conversation, Up looked down at Taz only to find she was peacefully asleep. Smiling to himself, Up tried to move away from Taz so he could lay her down on her bed, but found that her fingers were still clinging onto his shirt. He chuckled, and resorted to carefully laying down on his side, taking Taz with him. He watched her smile in her sleep and push her back against his chest, curling up with him like old times, and realised that he should've closed that distance.

In her sleep, Taz was thinking the same thing.


	6. Happiness

Taz woke up at 6.25, a few minutes before her alarm was due to go off, as usual. The only abnormal thing about waking up that morning (well, for the last few months it was) was that she could feel pressure against her back, shoulders and at one side of her neck from something warm and smelling of mint and dark chocolate. She opened her eyes and quickly remembered the events of the previous night and smiled to herself: she had finally realised what an idiota she had been, and Up hadn't been mad at her at all- she knew that that _definitely_ wasn't just because of his changed personality, in the way that she felt his arm wrapped around her like a cocoon. She looked at her arm outstretched in front of them, and found that Up had found her hand and their fingers were intertwined...wait- her hand was on top of Up's so that meant..._she_'d reached for_ his_ hand in the night. She couldn't quite move her hand away from Up's without having to tug it away. _Mierda_, that was going to be embarrassing when he woke up. However her thoughts of embarrassment were obliterated when Up breathed out and moved in his sleep, his head moving across Taz's shoulder and leaning into her neck, and his fingers stretching around hers. Taz almost shivered at Up's face so close to her neck, but instead smiled, closing her eyes and curling up against the arm which was wrapped around her waist. Dead-god she was glad Up was still asleep so he couldn't see her.

Up cautiously opened one eye to see if Taz was awake yet. Well, she wasn't pushing him off her and threatening to shoot him so he guessed that was a no. He kept as still as possible, not wanting to wake her, but eventually the urge to move closer to her was too much. Trying to make it seem as casual as possible, Up curled his hand over Taz's, which he was thrilled to see had reached for his in the night, and ghosted his fingers over hers. He tucked his head into the crook of her neck and inhaled: raspberries and vanilla. He hadn't noticed how good she smelt until now. _Ok Up, enough with the smelling her- if she wakes up now you're gonna be in big trouble_ he thought, not wanting to wake her by talking to himself, but then she did something that completely dissolved his regret for cuddling closer to her: she put her right arm around his and hugged it, turning around so Up could see her smiling in her sleep. It was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. Seriously- if you've seen kittens asleep in a teacup, this was cuter. Up couldn't help beaming at this side of Taz he hadn't seen in so long, but was so overwhelmed with happiness he forgot about keeping his thought to himself: "I love you, Taz," he whispered, and froze immediately, eyes wide open. _Shit- what if she heard that? _He remembered to think this time, _it's ok, she's asleep; she won't have heard you. _He breathed out and shut his eyes. Dead-god he was glad Taz was asleep.

"I love you, Taz," a thousand thoughts and emotions rushed through her at the same time: _Mierda- he's awake! Or did he say that in his sleep? Ugh, does that matter jou idiota- he said he loves jou! Well, he was chuckling when he said it so maybe he just means as a friend? Yeah... as a friend. But jou heard him say it before in the corridor- maybe it's not as a friend? Yeah, I should tell him... Don't be an idiota- jou've only just got him back as a friend- jou don't want to ruin it if he doesn't feel the same way! But what if he does? Argh!_

Eventually, through her silent panic, Taz managed to gather her thoughts together: she planned to fake waking up so see if he was awake, but still make it look like she hadn't heard him. Gradually, she slid one eyelid open, followed by the other, and looking up cautiously she saw...Up's closed eyes. "Phew," she breathed out a little too loudly, and his eyes snapped open. Seeing hers he let out a panicked "aah," and she did the same. They looked down at their position: left hands held out in front of them, fingers intertwined, Up's arm curled around Taz's waist which she was hugging, Taz's back pressed against Up's chest, Up's head leant into hers and most importantly, their faces were about an inch apart.

They reacted simultaneously. Up lifted his head back and drew his arms away from her, Taz ducked out of his hug, and they both sat on opposite sides of her bed. Taz let out an almost-silent sigh, and she was sure she heard Up do the same. _Mierda, jou said jou weren't going to ruin it this time, _Taz thought, searching for something to say. Before she could open her mouth though, Up cleared his throat and spoke,

"Uh, Taz? Can I ask you something?" Taz raised her eyebrows- _is he going to...?_ she thought before turning around to see Up had already moved back onto the bed and was facing her. She kept her cool and swivelled her legs so she was sitting back on her bed, and nodded, prompting him to continue. "Well, I was wondering... would you be my new coach? I mean, I don't think Peter's gonna be coming back after how I spoke to him yesterday," Up chuckled, "Are you alright Taz?" His voice turned serious. She suddenly realised she must've looked disappointed (not that she wasn't at what he'd said- or rather, what he hadn't said), so she told herself she was being stupid and shot a smile at Up instead. It wasn't a fake smile, but she couldn't fight the feeling of disappointment when tried to drive the subject away from what he'd said before. "Si, of course I will Up!" her voice wasn't as enthusiastic as she'd planned it to be, but he grinned at her anyway. _That smile_ Taz was lost in her thoughts of him, and didn't realise she's been staring until Up coughed awkwardly. "Oh," she snapped out of her daze, "well jou better get ready for some tough training den! I'm not gonna go easy on jou," she leapt off the bed and walked towards the bathroom, grabbing her grey jogging bottoms and white tank top as she went.

Up smiled after Taz as she shut the bathroom door after her, and thought about what she'd been wearing: no, not the rather skimpy pyjama shorts (well he did...but that wasn't the point), but the t-shirt with the G.L.E.E logo on that was miles too big for her; _his_ t-shirt. It was too small for him now, but he remembered giving it to her on her first night with the G.L.E.E, when she obviously hadn't had time to pack any pyjamas, and the ones she'd been 'generously' given by the Galactic League were thinner than tissue-paper. But she'd been given the chance to buy more pyjamas, and she wasn't short of money, so it warmed Up's heart that she was still wearing his old shirt after almost six years; even after Qu'Onos.

He realised that she'd gone to the bathroom to change for training, so he quickly went back to his room to grab a t-shirt and his training combats before making his way back to Taz's room to change.

Taz found herself suddenly taking more care over her hair than she thought she'd ever done since her Quincenera, and even then it was her mama who did it. She dropped what she was doing with disgust and determinedly tied her bandana around her forehead as she did every day, chiding herself for even thinking about changing her appearance for him. To clear her head of things a stupid girly-girl would do, she thought about how she was going to get on with training Up. _Training. _She still recoiled at the thought of Up needing to be trained. _No, _she thought, _if Up thinks jou can train him, then jou can! Come on- show dat idiota Peter what real training is. _She knew Up was right- she would be a better trainer than Peter: she knew how Up's mind worked...most of the time, and although it was going to hurt her seeing Up struggling, she knew she could battle through it, for him.

Taz opened the bathroom door to see Up pulling his t-shirt on over his head; just in time for her to see his bare chest, still unbelievably muscular and toned. She had to consciously close her mouth as it fell open, and tried to shake the image from her mind. Luckily Up had had his t-shirt covering his face so couldn't see her expression, but once he'd got his t-shirt on he shot her another smile and said, "ready for training, coach?"

"Come on, Up! Just three more!" Taz was hollering at him with such anger in her voice, yet he knew it was doing him good. She was down on the gym floor next to him, and they were doing sit-ups. In ten minutes Taz had got Up to do the steps Peter had been trying to teach him almost with ease, and she'd decided that as well as just training the limbs, Up needed something that trained the whole body, so his robot side got used to working as one. Up snarled determinedly and did the last three sit-ups in quick succession. He sat back and grinned at Taz: he was loving this. Obviously he was still frustrated that he couldn't make his right side do what he wanted, but it was sure as hell better than having that pathetic rehab trainer trying to tell him he was making 'great progress'. Taz smiled back for a few seconds before jumping to her feet and jogging towards the weights, "come on jou idiota, let's see if jou can lift a bigger weight than me!" She started by picking up a smaller weight in each hand, and Up walked over to her. "Yes ma'am," he said through a smile, and started trying to work his way up to the weights she was lifting. In fifteen minutes Taz had got him lifting the same weight as her, even in his right hand.

Taz fell asleep in Up's arms again that night, and as she thought about their training session that day, and where she was now, she realised that for the first time in ages, she was happy.


	7. Protectiveness

Taz went with Up to the gym almost every day, and even though Peter had persisted that his method of training him would be better than anything (as the rehab doctors had suggested it), people were already noticing the difference in him, both physically and mentally, now that he had Taz as his trainer. With two weeks training he was walking up the steps he was previously struggling on as fast as he would have done before his injury.

Within two weeks Taz and Up had started to watch the Karate Kid again...

With three weeks training Up was lifting the same weight as Taz with ease.

Within three weeks Taz and Up were sitting together at dinner again...

With a month's training Up was running the middle setting on the treadmill without even stumbling (though he still had trouble when moving slowly).

Within a month Taz was falling asleep in Up's arms every night, regardless of whether she'd had a nightmare...

With two months training when Up strode down the corridors, you could see the fear in privates', and even some lieutenants' eyes again.

Within two months Taz had plotted several hilarious revenge plans on Peter, mostly involving them shooting the life out of him...

With three months training Taz was still screaming at Up until she was purple when he was on the treadmill, but Up was managing the second to top speed.

Within three months Up had dared to hold Taz's hand in the corridor (obviously when there were no rangers around), and she didn't shake him off...

At around the four month's training mark, Taz was on her way to dinner when she heard someone calling her name. She turned around and Commander Hibbart was striding towards her down the corridor. When he had caught up with her he gave her a smile; a rare occurrence on Commander Hibbart's face.

"Lieutenant Taz, I'm glad I've managed to get hold of you. I wanted to congratulate you on your outstanding progress with Commander Up," his voice tactfully hushed when he said Up's name, so the gossiping ensigns walking past them didn't have more fuel for their fire. Taz nodded, but politely disagreed with the Commander's statement, "thank jou, Commander, however I feel Up- _Commander_ Up, was simply being trained in the wrong way and by the wrong person," okay, so she wasn't _that _polite, but this was better than her usual. "Yes. Well due to your work with the Commander, the G.L.E.E have decided that you should be issued a class of ensigns to coach over the next few months, as you aren't physically incapable of working," _anymore, but mentally you're messed up_; Taz heard the spill-words as loud as what he'd actually said, but that didn't matter now: she had a group of ensigns to beat up! And she didn't even need to go anywhere- they were all in the same room! She tried to hide her excitement, but knew she was failing, so briefly said to Hibbart, "thank jou Commander, I appreciate that," she went to walk away when he nodded in return, but as she turned the corner, he said, "Oh and Lieutenant?" She walked back around the corner to face him, "you don't need to call him Commander all the time- we all know about you two." With that comment Taz's eyes narrowed and her mouth pulled into a purse. Her death-glare (though with the added slight pinkness in her cheeks) struck even Hibbart with fear and he stuttered, "I mean, you're best friends, aren't you?" Taz's shoulders relaxed, and she retracted her expression to her normal glare instead. She thought that she might swear at the Commander if she opened her mouth, so she nodded stiffly and rounded the corner again, resuming her journey to the mess-hall.

Up drummed his fingers on the table; Taz was almost ten minutes late to dinner. He'd tried to wait for her before he got his food, but after five minutes and after a long day of training, the urge to eat won.

He was almost finished his chilli con carne when Taz burst through the mess-hall doors and charged towards him. He put down his knife and fork and looked in surprise as Taz didn't sit down in her usual seat opposite him, but came around his side of the table, sat down in the seat next to him and pulled him into a full-blown hug. Obviously, he instantly responded and wrapped his arms around her back, holding her tightly. After a few seconds he realised however, that he wasn't just in the mess-hall with Taz: he was in the mess-hall with Taz, and about fifty ensigns, privates, lieutenants and commanders. He pulled away from Taz and she blushed slightly, a sight that was insanely cute to him. He looked around at the other rangers in the mess-hall, still pretending they weren't looking at the pair, and looked back to Taz with a confused smile.

"Uh, Taz- you do realise there are people in here, right?" She still had a grin on her face, "...what's up? Why the big," _and amazingly beautiful, _"smile? Beat up Peter?" his face grew to match hers as she told him about her new class of ensigns she was now allowed to teach. "That's great, Taz!" He wanted to pull her into another hug, but with him administering it this time he wasn't sure she'd like it. "I know! I mean, it's not missions, but at least I'm working again! And this was, I can yell at dem without getting a 'talk' from Hibbart! And maybe, I could bring an ensign to a training session so jou could practice sparring!" Up mumbled something inaudible, and Taz leaned in, indicating him to say it again: "I just thought that you wouldn't have time for training sessions with your new class," he looked up at her, and she was shaking her head at him, but still smiling stunningly, "Up," she put her hand on his shoulder, "of course I'll have time for training!" this time she wrapped her hands around his neck and hugged him tighter than before. Up wrapped one arm over her back, but one hand _might _have... maybe...rested on her waist, and the result was a wolf whistle from a (unfortunately for him) nearby private.

They broke apart and Taz stood up from the table and walked towards the private, who was now regretting what he'd done- _big _time. "Jou pathetic _hijo de puta!_ Give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch jou in jour ugly face right now!" She had the boy by the scruff of the neck, and was about to smash his face in anyway, when she heard a voice on the other side of the room.

"Because you'd rather be in Commander Up's bed!" Also a private, this one with ginger hair. She recognised him from somewhere. She dropped the private who'd wolf-whistled and was about to storm over and give him twice what she'd been planning for the wolf-whistler, but she stopped in shock when she found that Up was already there.

_Up_? She watched with growing amazement as, without even punching the kid, reduced him to a shivering mess. He dropped the private on the floor and he scrambled back to his seat. Up walked back to their table and Taz followed, her eyebrows still up an inch from their normal position. She didn't think they'd be having any more comments from that ginger-haired private.

Walking back to their rooms, Taz was still curious about what Up had said to that _idiota _private back in the mess-hall. She asked Up this, and he shot her a smirk, "this is gonna sound stupid," Taz didn't look away from him, "but I said that if he ever so much as looked at you again, I'd-" he looked down, embarrassed. "Come on, Up- jou can say anything to me!" he seemed to think about this, before continuing, "that I'd unscrew his head, and drop wishing pennies down his throat." He looked up at her, and she beamed at him. "That was tough, Up!" she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked together down the corridor, "though a little strange." He laughed with her and put his arm around her shoulders.

When they'd said goodbye to each other at Taz's door (this was only for show so the ensigns didn't whisper more- she'd be back in his room later), and Taz had shut the door behind her, she smiled to herself at the new side she hadn't seen in Up's personality since his injury. She was impressed- sure, but she hadn't realised he was so... protective of her.


	8. Embarrassment

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE!" Taz's face was colder and harder than ice, but inside she was relishing in yelling at the group of about fourteen ensigns who were standing in front of her in a line as she'd instructed them to do, "JOU IDIOTAS ARE HERE BECAUSE JOU THINK JOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR MISSION, EH?" One ensign stupidly nodded, different from the others who stood up straight and unmoving. Taz stormed up to the boy, and smacked him across the face. Hard. He fell to the floor and covered his now bright red cheek with his hand. Taz stood over him and lowered her head until it was only a foot away from the ensign's. He clutched his ears instead of his cheek when she hollered at him, "JOU ARE WEAK! JOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR MISSIONS! JOU HAVE TO APPLY MISSION RULES _EVERY_ DAY! NOW GET UP JOU HIJO DE PUTA, AND DO 50 LAPS!" the boy looked horrified, and glanced around at the huge gym hall questioningly, "SI OF THE WHOLE GYM, IDIOTA! DID JOU EXPECT SOMETHING WEAK? GO!" she stepped back to her previous position as the ensign scrambled to his feet and started running, cheek still glowing. She looked to the rest of the group and noticed they'd slumped a little from their stance. "HEY!" She yelled and the whole group stood to attention again, "GO AND START LIFTING WEIGHTS! THE ONE WHO CAN LIFT THE MOST DOESN'T GET THE SAME AS HIM," she gestured over her shoulder at the already-panting ensign, who'd only done a lap and a half. She could see the terror in the rest of the group's eyes, but she was almost impressed that they didn't break as much as the other kid had done. She went over to set up the sparring ring and mats, and smirked to herself: she sort of got a kick out of torturing ensigns, but she knew it would do them good- they needed to be tough if they wanted to survive on missions. She wondered if Up would be proud of her, and even though she wouldn't ever let it show, she wouldn't mind if he said so.

Right on cue, she heard the door opening behind her, and she noticed the ensigns at the weights slowing slightly (Mr Red-Cheek was still too terrified to stop his running). She stood up from bending over the mats and spun around to see Up leaning against the doorway. His eyes fluttered up to her face from something lower down, and Taz paused: _I was bending over... wait- was he looking at my... uh, never mind..._ Instead she focused on what he was wearing: yeah, his usual grey sweatpants for training, but instead of the usual grey t-shirt he was wearing a black, and rather tight tank top, showing the full extent of his muscles. Luckily she pushed back the rather nervous and girly giggle that was about to come out of her mouth when she remembered the ensigns in the room. _Phew, that would've been embarrassing. _She cleared her throat, and snarled at the ensigns who'd slowed down their weight lifting a fraction, "I DIDN'T TELL JOU TO STOP WORKING IDIOTAS!" she looked back to Up and he looked like he was holding back a grin.She walked over to him, her eyes already asking her question so he answered when she reached him:

"I wanted to see the hell you were giving them;" he couldn't help smiling now- _so attractively,_ she added mentally, but Up spoke again to knock her out of her thoughts, "finally we're getting back at them for their stupid whispering," his voice sounded triumphant as she hadn't heard it since the last mission before Qu'Onos. She smiled up at him and leant against the inside wall next to the doorway he was leaning on. "Yeah, stupid's right: that _tonto _over there broke his stance when I hadn't even given him permission to move." She rolled her eyes as she gestured to the running, and now heavily sweating ensign. Up chuckled and looked down at her, "you gave him laps just because he moved?" Taz nodded with an 'uh-huh', "nice!" Up replied, and Taz felt that same triumphant feeling, but not just because she was getting back at the ensigns. She didn't want to show how thrilled she was at his praise, so punched him lightly (for her) on the arm, but realised this was a big mistake, as it brought her attention to his arms again...

"So what are you making them do now?" Up asked, completely unaware of how embarrassed Taz was feeling right now about staring at his arms.

"Well that guy's doing 50 laps, and the other idiotas are _MEANT _TO BE LIFTING WEIGHTS!" Her sentence changed to a holler as she noticed that the ensigns had yet again slowed their work out, though many of them with red faces under the strain of the weights. They immediately sped up though, and she could hear the groans from the other side of the gym. "ACTUALLY, IDIOTAS- GO OVER TO DE MATS AND GET INTO PAIRS!" she could hear the groans again as the ensigns realised they'd just sped up lifting their weights for nothing. Taz smirked and she saw Up try not to laugh again. "Sparring?" he asked, and she nodded. "Do jou want to watch?" she asked carefully, not knowing if Up would want to see even ensigns do what he hadn't attempted to do for almost nine months. Much to her relief, he grinned at the idea, and went to sit down on a set of steps near the mats Taz had set up.

However, Up didn't stay on those steps for long: as Taz surveyed one half of the sparring pairs, Up yelled comments at the other. Yeah he'd been injured- but who says that means he doesn't know about fighting anymore? Occasionally (well frequently really), he saw Taz drag an ensign off another, and start hitting the one still on the mat; telling the ensigns that they were doing a pathetic job of attacking their opponent. Up smirked whenever he saw Taz smacking an ensign right in the face because he knew she was partly doing it for her own pleasure. He shook his head and wondered why Hibbart had let her be responsible for a group of ensigns: even though Up thought she was an amazing teacher, Hibbart still knew about her fiery temper. Though Up personally loved her incredibly short fuse, he knew the ensigns that were now getting punched in the face frankly didn't.

He didn't feel sorry for the ensigns. They deserved every hit they got, for they'd been whispering ever since Qu'Onos- no, they'd been whispering ever since he and Taz had gotten close, ever since she'd turned eighteen and they were still best friends. Up snarled in disgust at the thought of ensigns spreading rumours- the G.L.E.E was meant to have zero tolerance on that sort of thing! Of course, he wasn't disgusted at all at the thought of him and Taz- far from it, but he wondered how obvious it really was that he liked Taz. Did she know? Dead-god damn it this was so hard! He sighed and cast his attention back to shouting at the ensigns, who really were pathetic.

"AND I WANT ALL OF JOU BACK TOMORROW AT 7 AM! I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THOSE LAPS JOU MISSED OUT ON!" Taz called after the ensigns as they walked- or really, staggered- towards the gym doors after their training session. The ensign who'd done the laps before looked slightly relieved, but Taz yelled at him, "JOU DO EXTRA!" and his shoulders slumped yet again.

She turned to Up and he was looking at her with that same big grin on his face. She sighed and smiled at him too, and there was a comfortable silence between the two before they spoke. "Those idiotas are gonna get themselves killed if dey go out there with those skills," Taz smirked at Up. He raised his eyebrows and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, even I could do better," he said, and Taz looked over at him slowly, wondering whether he was joking or not. Her eyes met his and they luckily both burst out laughing. Up had just been complaining about how bad the ensigns were. _Phew._ As their laughter slowed, she looked at him and raised an eyebrow with a devious smile on her face. "Is dat a bet?" Up looked at her with surprise before his expression turned to match hers. "You bet it is." He stood up and held out his hand to her. She took it and they walked over to the sparring ring, not used by the ensigns that day because there were too many of them. They stood at opposite corners of the ring, and circled each other as for a fight, but both with grins on their faces. Stances for a battle but faces like they were watching the Karate Kid...together.

Taz was going a little easy on Up at first, as he hadn't even hit anyone since before his injury, but once Up really got into the fight, she had almost completely forgotten about doing that. They were near evenly matched. While Up was much stronger that her, Taz was quicker and nimbler, and could dart from behind him to in front of him in seconds. They fought like opponents, but still had huge smiles on their faces. Each time either of them got a hit it, their smiles got wider. They knew everything about each other's techniques and weaknesses. He would turn his foot to the back of her ankle, trying to upend her, but she would twist around and pull herself away, leaving him to fall. But he'd push off the ground in a moment and grab her shoulders, forcing her down. When she was on the floor she'd twist her legs around his ankles so he fell too, but when she scrambled up to her feet he'd kick her in the stomach, giving him time to get up. Then she'd duck under his arms and run so she was behind him and kick him in the back, but he'd turn around and dodge her oncoming punch, and so the fight continued...

Taz kicked Up to the ground for what was probably the hundredth time, but only felt like the first. This time, when she stood over him to punch him in the face, Up didn't dodge, but grabbed her wrists and pulled her down. It would've hurt more, but the fight would've continued, if Up hadn't pulled her down to land on... his chest. They both stopped, breathing heavily, and Taz propped herself up on her elbows on Up's chest. He looked at her, for once looking up and not down. They both still had the grins on their faces, and their hearts were still beating quickly from the rush of the fight. Taz's heart was beating fast for another reason too though: that she was incredibly close to Up. She reached out her hand and brushed away a spot of blood from his left cheek, concentrating on it for a second before moving her focus back to his eyes. He was looking at her with an emotion she couldn't fathom, but for a moment she wondered if it was the same as the emotion with which she was looking at Up right now. They hardly blinked, wanting to absorb as much of the other's eyes as they could, and they seemed to know what they thought was coming next...

"Taz-" Up started, sounding like the emotion in his eyes Taz couldn't think of, but he was interrupted. The gym doors burst open and hit the inside wall, seeming like the loudest thing Taz had ever heard. They both broke each other's gaze and looked to see who had entered the gym; Taz praying it wasn't an ensign from her class. Thankfully it wasn't.

No- it was someone worse.

"OMDG!" _crap crap crap crap crap. _Up looked to the newly opened gym doors and his eyes came across possibly the worse person that could find him and Taz in a moment like this. It wasn't a bad moment- it was far from it. He had just gotten closer to Taz than he had probably ever; even when she fell asleep against him they weren't that close. Up was going to tell her too: you know, TELL her. But then the worst person in the world walked in and shattered that idea to pieces.

_Peter _stood in the doorway with his mouth open and eyebrows annoyingly high.

"I knew I was right! Aww, you two!" Up's thoughts suddenly turned murderous. However, obviously it was Taz who acted instead. She clambered off his chest and sprung up from the ground, storming towards Peter with so much power she didn't need to run. She turned her death-glare on and Up was sure for a second that she was going to carry out one of her plots to kill Peter. As she approached ever-closer to him, Peter raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay- I'm sorry, you guys!" Taz didn't slow. She raised her fist at Peter, now in a perfect position to do what she did: punch him right in the nose with what looked like all her might. Peter clutched at his nose and cowardly hobbled away. However he gave one last taunt: "I'm sorry I disturbed you guys!" Taz screamed furiously, "JOU HIJO DE PUTA!" she roared at the top over her lungs, and slammed the gym door, causing the whole wall to shake.

Though they'd had what many would consider to be a very embarrassing evening, as Up thought about how he and Taz were in the sparring ring, he realised that with Taz, he would never be embarrassed.


	9. Indecision

"NOW GET OUT OF HERE!" Taz was agitated to say the least. Up still had to check in at the hospital wing once a week to check his progress 'medically' and he was in there doing all sorts of tests all day just because Space-Claw wanted to inspect his 'project'. She felt like spitting on the ground at even the thought of his name. So anyone who even dared to look at her today was going down.

As the private she'd just probably made pee himself shuffled away, she went back to her thoughts about Up. Si, she'd been thinking about him. Ever since that almost-incident in the gym a month ago it was harder to get him out of her head than it had ever been in that way. Si- in THAT way. She couldn't bear the thought of Space-Claw sticking tubes into him and connecting him up to machines, just like after... after his injury. She gritted her teeth and practically hissed. She was calmer when he was around- his soft eyes like waves cooling her fiery temper. _Those eyes_; yet again she found herself getting lost in thoughts of him, and she almost groaned angrily when someone interrupted her, but luckily realised who it was before getting herself into trouble.

"Lieutenant Taz, I need to discuss an important matter with you," Commander Hibbart said as he stood in front of her (she hadn't noticed him approaching).

"Si, Commander- what do jou need to talk about?" Ever since she'd gotten something to do of purpose for the G.L.E.E she'd been more relaxed when talking to Commanders, so she wasn't worried about being rude as she'd normally be, but obviously she didn't want to lose her job, even if it was just teaching. She looked at Hibbart and there was something in his eyes that suggested it was something he was nervous to tell her... wait- Up was still in the hospital ward!

"Is Up okay?" her heart was racing and she almost grabbed Hibbart by the shoulders when he didn't answer her for a few seconds.

"He's fine. This is nothing to do with him, not really." _Not really_- what did he mean?

"Can we discuss this in my office please Lieutenant?" She nodded and followed him down the corridor and across the hall to where his office was situated next to all the other commanders' offices were (Up's had been taken over since his injury by a newly promoted commander, and Taz tried not to look at the door as they walked past).

Inside Hibbart's office he sat down behind the desk, and Taz sat at the smaller chair in front of it. He offered her some water and she not so politely refused, anxious to know what he wanted to talk to her about. After a lot of paperwork shuffling from Hibbart's side of the desk for what seemed like no apparent reason, Hibbart sighed, obviously admitting to himself that he had to tell her some time. He straightened up in his chair and looked her sincerely in the eyes.

"The G.L.E.E have decided that you shall be let off your eight-month probation from missions early because of your recent success with teaching."

Taz absolutely did not know what to say. She felt hundreds of emotions try to fit the situation, but none came through. She was utterly speechless. Her face must've been a strange sight: surprise, realisation, confusion, excitement, grief, guilt, more confusion. Hibbart looked at her with interest- he wasn't sure how she'd react. This tough son-of-a-bitch ranger was suddenly faced with one of the hardest decisions she'd ever come across, and she looked completely lost.

Suddenly Taz shook her head and resumed her hard Lieutenant glare and she squared her shoulders and looked Hibbart sternly in the eyes.

"I don't want to go." Hibbart was worried she'd say that. He sighed, and braced himself for her reaction for what he was about to say.

"I'm afraid, Lieutenant, that if you decide not to go on this mission, then Space- uh, I mean- the G.L.E.E has decided that your class of ensign students shall be taken from your command, and the eight months will be increased to a year" Taz's face contorted with pain. She yet again was at a loss for words and she put her hands up to her head, rubbing her temples.

"Perhaps you'd like some time to think about this. The mission starts in a week's time and is for one year." He stood up and held the door open for her, and Taz slowly got to her feet and walked out into the hall, still rubbing her temples.

She turned the corner and collapsed to the floor against the corridor wall. She'd been devastated when she found out she couldn't go on missions, but now it was different.

Now she had Up.

But did she really have him? Not in the way she wanted, at least. It would kill her to leave Up like this, when they'd gotten back so much. And she knew it would hurt him too: he'd have no one to train him like she did, and he'd probably be forced to go back to Peter, or at the very least, another air-head rehab 'trainer' like him. It was like two halves of her heart having a tug of war, and it sure felt like it inside. She desperately wanted to be on missions again, but she couldn't leave Up.

Could she?


	10. Nerves

Up got back to his room the morning after spending the night in hospital, and found a note from Taz on his bedside table (they knew each other's pass codes for their rooms). Curiously, he picked the little piece of thin white paper up and read what she'd written:

_**Up. Meet me in my room. **__**We need to talk **__** I want to ask you something. Taz**_

Up was intrigued at the brief note. And that was exactly it- it was really brief. Now Taz wasn't a one for words, but he knew when someone was writing in a hurry. He'd planned to change from his grey sweats and black t-shirt (the grey one had mysteriously slipped into the wash again) when he got in, but dropped that idea and jogged down the corridor to her door, clutching the note in his hand.

Taz's breathing was rapid and shallow, her palms were sweaty and she'd bitten her fingernails down as short as they could get without bleeding. She cast her eyes over to her empty wardrobe and gulped- there was nothing else to do. Nothing to distract her from the pure nerves that were pulsing through her like caffeine that was keeping her from sleeping. It was true- she hadn't slept for a week. _A week._ Though she hadn't slept it had gone by like lightning. She'd been keeping it from Up all this time, trying to act like normal, but she couldn't run away from it now. She had to tell him about the mission.

Taz had an action plan in her head though. She'd left a note for Up in his room a few minutes before he usually woke up, so he'd see it when he got back from the hospital. He was due to get to her room in five minutes. The starship was due to leave in ten. She'd tell him about the mission, but if she thought for a second that Up didn't want her to go, then she'd run and stop her bags being put on the ship where they were packed and ready to go.

And if he wanted her to go? She'd tell him. Si, like TELL him. Tell him everything she'd been holding in for almost six years now. And _dios muerto _she was nervous. What if he laughed at her? What if he tried to be kind to her and tell her it wasn't her, it was him? Ugh, she felt like vomiting. She couldn't face ruining their friendship if he said no, but she couldn't face not knowing if he'd say yes. She got up to yet again punch the wall, which had several dents in it already, when her door opened.

"Taz?" His voice was immediately soothing, but then made the nerves come back. She looked over to see Up's concerned eyes searching for her. They found hers and he gave her a small smile. "You said you wanted to tell me something? I got your note," he held up the piece of paper in his hand she'd ripped off the end of a G.L.E.E newsletter to write on. She looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Jou'd better sit down." She said, trying not to make her voice waver. Up sat down on her bed and leant towards where she was standing in front of him, indicating she carried on.

She breathed out sharply and let it all out in one go: "I've been let off the eight months no missions." A look of premature relief came to Up's face.

"Well that's great Taz! Good job!" Taz shook her head. He didn't understand.

"Up," he looked into her eyes and she looked away again, "my next mission starts today. And Hibbart said that if I don't accept it, I'll go back to not being able to do anything. Not even teaching." She held her breath for his response, but still didn't meet his eyes.

There was a pause where Up was obviously thinking silently- something he rarely did. "Well that's still great, Taz!" She was furious. She wanted him to either ask her not to go, or say he wanted her to go- not try to hide what he was really feeling!

"No it's not, Up!" she shouted suddenly and stepped away from him, "If I go, then I can't teach the ensigns- they'll probably die on their first mission, I can't teach jou- and jou'll probably have to go back to dat _hijo de puta _Peter, and I'll have to be under the command of Hibbart and not jou- he won't be able to stand me!"

Up stood up from the bed but didn't walk forward, "That doesn't matter Taz! It's better for you to go! You have to go!" She could still hear he was trying to hide something; she let out an angry shout,

"UP! I CAN'T GO! JOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO!"

Up raised his voice too, "COME ON, TAZ! IT'S BETTER FOR YOU TO GO!" He was avoiding her question,

"BUT I CAN'T GO!" She had a feeling she was avoiding his hidden question too.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK, TAZ! YOU WANT TO GO!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"WHY NOT?"

"BECAUSE JOU DON'T WANT ME TOO!"

"WELL MAYBE I DO!"

"I STILL DON'T WANT TO GO!"

"WHY NOT?"

"UP, I-"

"TAZ! WHY NOT?"

"BECAUSE I'M SICK OF LOSING THE PEOPLE I LOVE!"

They both stopped. Taz had tears streaming down her face and she didn't even care. She looked at Up and he looked like he could've had the same.

But he didn't. He looked her straight in the eyes. She looked deep into his. He stepped towards her and held her deep in his eyes too. He was right in front of her and they still hadn't blinked. They looked into each other's eyes deeper than they'd ever done in their lives. His like the ocean and hers like fire.

And the ocean met fire.

And his lips met hers.

Taz felt like her whole head was being flooded with emotion. Almost six years of suspense and almost-incidents between them both poured out into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her tightly- one hand on the small of her back and the other at the base of her neck. She slung her arms over at the back of his head on knotted his hair in her fingers. He ran his hands up and down her back and shivers ran down her spine. She screwed her eyes shut tighter and pulled him closer, and all she could feel was his warm mouth against hers. Her mouth melted into his, telling him everything she'd planned to say through her actions. His left hand reached up and twisted through her hair, making her pull him even closer, if that were even possible. It was like an ocean flooding her senses, turning them into pure love for the man in front of her. And he loved her back.

Suddenly she was flying. No- really flying. Up had hoisted he up onto his shoulder and she was watching her bedroom disappearing.

"Up where are jou taking me?" She did NOT like being carried, but her head was fuzzy from the kiss. He didn't reply, but she recognised they way to the starship dock, even backwards.

She started to panic. "UP!" She screamed at him but he wouldn't put her down,

"UP DON'T PUT ME ON THAT SHIP!" She started kicking his chest and trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he was stronger than her.

"UP PLEASE!" They were rounding the corner to the dock and she could see the rest of the crew there already getting on the starship, including Hibbart. She was red in the face from all her screaming, and she couldn't even see what Up's face looked like as he carried her to the ramp where the entrance to the ship was. She was screaming and kicking him with all her might when he put her down. She went looked up at him to plead with him again, but the cool glass doors of the starship slid between them. She banged her fists on the glass and screeched for them to open the doors, but with no avail. She pressed herself to the glass and looked into Up's eyes as he watched her in her rage. His lips moved to say something to her. She couldn't hear it but she read his lips and knew what he said as the starship took off:

"I love you Taz."


	11. Determination

After a week on the ship, and without Up, Taz had turned into_ the_ most irritable, rude, angry, and aggressive person they'd ever had in the G.L.E.E. No one passed her in the corridor, no one talked to her and NO ONE told her what to do. Her death glare was on display almost permanently; it was like she was stuck with that expression. She'd beaten up two ensigns for asking her about training, and didn't open her door to ANYONE. Needless to say, she wasn't ready to talk.

But in that first week on the ship, Taz had been a completely different person. Of course, she hadn't shown it to the crew- she'd locked herself in her room, but she hadn't been able to stop the raw emotions from flowing straight from her heart.

After tearing herself away from the glass doors of the starship, when it wasn't possible for her to see Up anymore, she'd bolted straight for her room, looking at no one. She couldn't remember exactly what had happened now, but at the end of it the chair had a large dent in one of its legs, there was paperwork for the mission all over the floor (although thankfully not ripped), her knuckles were bleeding and there were fat, hot, wet tears gushing from her eyes.

That was when the second phase of her first week's emotions began. She found herself curled up in a ball in the centre of her bed, sobbing her heart out but trying to force the tears back. _Jou're weak, _she constantly taunted herself, _jou're crying! Jou promised jourself dat jou would never cry again after jour Quincenera, and jou broke dat promise after Qu'Onos, jou broke it with Up nine months ago, and jou're breaking it again now. Jou are an estupido. Pequeña. Chica. _

She cried for the rest of that week, still taunting herself and willing the tears to go away, but her heart still aching and the same fact still fundamental:

She wasn't going to see Up for a whole year.

The starship had taken off and she could do nothing about it. She still remembered the look in his eyes as he watched her disappear off into space; she still remembered those words on his lips and how her heart leapt a light-year when he'd said them, and how it pulled on her heartstrings to remember it now; she still felt the intensity of his eyes when he'd walked towards her, still felt his fingers twisting through her hair,

still felt his lips on hers.

And despite all the crushing heartache she felt, that was when she decided. Decided that she knew why Up wanted her to go on the mission. He didn't want her to go without something just because of him. She decided that she was going to be the most unbearable person on the ship because she wanted to make it clear that she didn't want to be on it. She decided that every single thing she killed- be it alien, monster, zombie, vampire, werewolf or even a _hijo de puta_ robota- would be for Up. She decided that she would get through this,

For Up.


	12. Uncertainty

It had been the right thing to do. He couldn't let him intervene with what Taz deserved to be doing; what she loved to do.

_But she'd said she loved him_

No! Taz needed to be on missions- she couldn't be dragged down by him. Up couldn't let their feelings get in the way of their job; he'd told her, and many other rangers, that before. It was just…

It was the most difficult thing he'd ever done to let her go. As he'd watched her slowly getting smaller as the starship took off from the dock, he felt his confidence shrinking already. She'd always been his rock, she'd always been the one he knew would understand him, she'd always been his reason for fighting; his reason for living.

But she was gone. He wasn't going to see her for a whole year, and he'd read the mission brief: it involved several planets and creatures. What if she got stuck on one of the planets? What if she met someone else who loved her (though Up noted that NO ONE could ever love Taz as much as he did)? What if...

What if she got hurt?

Instantly Up felt panic set in when the thought crossed his mind. He was so adamant that he'd made the right decision sending her on the mission, so then why did he feel like his treasured heart had been ripped out and shot with a zapper? Up tried to fight both sides of the civil war that was happening between his mind and his heart, but it was exhausting. He screwed up his eyes in frustration, but didn't take it out on anything around him like he would've done, even five hours ago.

When she was still with him.

Like he said- he'd felt his confidence being drained away as Taz had disappeared from sight. He knew that he couldn't have let her stay; she would've gone insane if she'd been forced to stay in the base for another eight months, and though she probably wouldn't show it, he knew that Taz would've blamed him for it. And he couldn't ruin what they had by being so selfish as to ask her to stay.

_What they had_. What did they have? Up's thoughts flickered to the kiss just five hours ago, and his ripped-out heart momentarily warmed. They were perfect for each other, and they'd been best friends for years because of that. Up just prayed to the long-dead-god that she'd still feel the same when she came back.

_If she came back._

_Dead-god damn it, Up!_ He tried not to let his depressing thoughts come back, but it was so hard when Taz wasn't around. He felt a painful pull on his heartstrings but tried weakly to ignore it. Again the fight started between his heart and head, battling endlessly, and it was wearing for Up. He already missed her so much, but he'd made the right decision putting her on that ship.

Had he?


	13. Loss

Her nightmares had started again. They'd now had a week on the ship, travelling to the first planet, and Taz hadn't had more than four hours sleep each night. Yet again she'd woken up holding back a scream and struggling for breath. She shut her eyes and collapsed back against her pillow, and despite how tired she was, she tried not to get sucked back into sleep. She couldn't face the horribly vivid nightmares which alternated between her Quinceañera and Qu'Onos.

Unfortunately she couldn't keep out her conscious memories from invading her head. The nightmare she'd just woken up from had been of her Quinceañera this time, and she shuddered as she still remembered every detail of it...

"Ta...uh, Taz!" she heard her mama downstairs, making an effort to say her chosen nickname because it was her birthday. She rolled her eyes at her mama's panicked tone- she always had to have everything perfect.  
>"Si mama?" she called, showing her annoyance obviously.<br>"¿Has probado el vestido todavía?" this time her mama sounded expectant; she'd searched long and hard for a dress that she hoped Taz wouldn't be completely disgusted with like all the other dresses she'd suggested for her previously.  
>"Si." Taz mumbled, almost to herself as she turned to look at herself in the full-length mirror in her bedroom.<p>

Who stood before her was someone so unlike her normal self it was like a completely different person. Her jet black hair ran in soft curls down to just above where her shoulder-blades ended, and was pinned back slightly on her right side with a single red daisy. Her already long eyelashes darkened her eyes so they looked almost black, and a sweep of dark eyeliner outlined her eyes so they looked like near-perfect circles. Her lips had the slightest extra colour to match the daisy, and the deep red sash which was tied around her waist.

Then there was the dress. Taz hadn't worn a dress since she'd been able to dress herself, and she still had an aversion to all things pink and fluffy or frilly, but she had to admit... this dress was... not bad. Gathered at the top in a subtle white lace pattern at a scoop neck, the dress was cinched in at the waist; the sash accentuating that. It flowed down to the floor but didn't look like a wedding dress, as the white was broken up by a slit over her left leg, which showed ruffled red material with the same lace pattern.

She tried not to smile at this girl in the mirror that was now more of a woman, but she couldn't help a small smirk. Taz couldn't believe that a- she was wearing a dress, b- she didn't mind wearing it, and c- she looked so... so... she couldn't think of a word. Different, she supposed.

A loud and over-excited squeal interrupted her thoughts from her mama downstairs, and Taz went back to normal-mode: she rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Tu puede venir abajo- todo el mundo está a la espera!" her mama called, ending in the same squeal she'd just heard when she said she'd tried on the dress. Taz shuddered at her words- _everyone's waiting._ She didn't know if she could face that many people; she knew her mama liked huge family gatherings and had probably invited as many people as she could fit in the house and more. _Seriously- are jou going to be scared of jour family?_ She thought to herself, _now go down dere and face dem- be tough! _With that, Taz breathed out suddenly and determinedly, and strode to the top of the spiralling staircase which would take her down to where her family was waiting.

She didn't want people thinking she'd turned into an _estupido_ girly-girl just because it was her fifteenth birthday and everyone expected her to transform into a princess, so she stomped down the stairs quickly and ungracefully. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs to look at everyone's (and by everyone's she meant everyone except her hermanos, who were sniggering and punching each other at the back) smiling faces, and turned to her mama and papa; her papa marvelling at the side of his little girl he'd never seen before, and her mama already in floods of tears. Taz gave her a faint smile, and through her tears her mama managed,

"Oh, mi hija, jou look so-"

CRASH. Everyone turned around to see nothing but the wooden front door of her house; the noise, and hell- was it a noise, was coming from outside. Naturally everyone ran outside to see what was happening, but they immediately wished they hadn't. Taz was last to exit the house, and was horrified by the sight that met her: six or seven robots (she knew they were Autobots now) towered above her and her guests, picking up trees and hurling them at the house. Her family and friends began to panic and most of them tried to run. She felt her stomach lurch when she saw her second cousin picked up by one of the robots and just thrown to the ground, the sheer height he'd been lifted crushing him as he hit the rock-hard earth. She remembered to look away for the next dozen.

People panicked even more as the robots shot at the house, sending it up in flames instantly. She would've screamed but the shock and intensity of it all was overthrowing her. She reacted when one of her hermanos was lifted up though- screaming curses at the robot until her face was the same colour as her sash, she sprinted towards them, dodging several bodies and robot's arms as she went. She grabbed the heaviest thing she could find before she reached them: a branch from one of the trees the robots had ripped from the ground. She sprang off the ground and hurled herself at the robot, managing to plunge the branch through one of its legs. She landed back on the ground, but found that the robot could still function. She looked up at her hermano, his body seemingly lifeless. Her face pulled into an expression full of pain, but she didn't cry; she was still in shock.

When the robot flung her hermano's body towards the house her eyes widened and filled with anger. For the first time in a while she dared to look around and saw the bodies of her family and friends strewn across her front lawn, each having had the same death as the next- 'calculated deaths' carried out by the robot that stood before her and its friends. Her eyes searched for too long, and wandered over the body of her papa. "NO!" She cried, her heart being pulled painfully in all directions. She screwed her eyes shut momentarily, but couldn't get the image out of her head. She searched cautiously for her mama, but couldn't find her.

"MAMA!" She yelled, desperately hoping she was still alive.

She was. Taz spun around when she heard a pained cry from behind her: her mama was being held by one arm by a robot whose ocular sensors seemed to gleam with joy. She had a large cut on her right leg and over her chest and was losing blood rapidly. She was dying.

That was it- Taz ripped the branch out from the robot that she'd just stabbed, and stabbed it again, but right through the chest. This time it fell to its knees, and she drew the branch out again and ran backwards just before it fell forward. She turned around and raced towards her madre, feeling grateful that she'd worn her usual blck boots and not the high heels she'd been bought, but as she got about five metres from her, the robot flung her madre over the roof of the house, and Taz had to put her hands over her ears so she wouldn't hear the sickening sound when she hit the ground.

She'd lost everyone now. There was not a single person she was even acquainted with still alive; they'd all been invited to the party. So there she stood, a tree branch in her hands, a dress that was ripped in several places and stained with her own blood and the blood of others, hair sticking up at all angles, dirt and blood smeared over her face, and six great big robots approaching from all angles. What did she do? Any pathetic pequeña chica would scream and cry and run away.

But that wasn't her.

Roaring out the battle cry that would later become her trademark, Taz leapt at the robot that had just killed her mama and swung the branch at its head like a baseball bat. It came clean off when she swung at it a second time, and as the robot fell forward its hand tore a strip of her dress off and scraped across her knees, but she wasn't paying attention. She pivoted to face the other five robots as they approached her, and she pulled a determined grimace before she charged. She managed to get a hit at one of the robots, but as she went to pull the branch back, it grasped the other end of it, and pulled. Hard. She was yanked forward by the robot, pulling back with all her might, but as she was leant forward trying to hang onto the branch, it was all too easy for two of the other robots to grab each of her legs. She yelped and tried to cling to the branch, but being pulled at either end by robots is no easy job. She was forced to let go and was left swinging upside-down, facing four red eyes who seemed to laugh at her. She'd never felt so filled with hatred.

All five of the remaining robots let out an odd, scraping metallic sound which sounded grotesquely like human laughter. She struggled but their grasp was too tight and she was now starting to feel the effects of a lot of blood rushing to her head. They moved towards the only tree in the front garden left standing, and she suddenly had a sickening feeling they weren't going to make her death quick.

When they reached the tree, a rope was tied around her ankles, and then to the tree. Still defiant as ever, she balled her hands into fists and aimed them at the robots, but she was feeling so dizzy now from being upside-down that fuzzy red shapes blocked her vision.

It was then that she felt the first hit. A blunt, heavy object had hit her across the stomach, and she looked and made out the robot she'd lost the branch to drawing to back, ready for another swipe. She breathed in sharply but didn't make a sound; _if those hijo de puta robotas want to kill me- let them do it, but don't let them think jou're weak- not for a second, _she thought, but then the second blow came- this time to her legs, making her swing out of control on the rope. Again it hurt like hell, but she still didn't cry out. Instead, she was filled with a mix of rage and hysteria, and shouted at them, "IS THAT ALL JOU'VE GOT? COME ON- HIT ME JOU STUPID ROBOTAS!" There was a pause before she received several hits at once: one to the legs again, two to the back and one the stomach. She felt the hit to the stomach most of all because it was something sharp. She winced and struggled for breath, as she felt a hot liquid seeping from her middle, but she still didn't give in. Weaker, but still with as much fury, she called again for them to hit her, and thought she'd be with her family soon. But that was when one of them swung at her head, and everything went black.

She opened her eyes to the ocean. A sea of incredibly blue emotive eyes were in front of her, and it took her a while to realise that they belonged to someone. That someone was a man, younger than twenty, with dark brown hair and a moustache to match. His eyes widened when she opened hers, and she realised that she was being carried by him. That was when her normal self kicked in:

"Hey! Put me down, _cabron_!" she struggled but laid back when she felt a sharp pain across her middle.

"Woah, little lady! I'm not putting you down any time soon; you're hurt!" he had a southern American accent, but it was slightly softer than she'd imagined. She looked down to where the pain had come from when she'd tried to move, but all she saw was her red sash. It was only when she touched her stomach and looked at her fingers that she realised what he'd meant: her fingers were covered in blood; the sash had been disguising the deep gash across her middle.

"Oh." she said, a little quieter, memory of what had happened coming back. He must've felt her breathing quicken, as he said,

"It's alright, little lady, I know this must be hard for you." She shook her head,

"I'm not going to cry- I'm just... I want to kill every single one of those robotas!" she finished in a shout, and the man with the blue eyes looked impressed.

"Well we found a couple of Autobots destroyed already when we got here... did you do that, little lady?"

"Si," he understood, so she continued, "and don't call me little lady- I'm not little, and I'm not a _lady."_ She spat the word out because it reminded her too much of what her mama had always said about her Quinceañera.

"Well what should I call you then?" he asked, trying to hide a chuckle.

"My name is Taz," she tilted her head up and set her jaw to make her look tougher than the image the man with the blue eyes must have been getting: a fifteen-year-old girl with a flower (the daisy had miraculously stayed in her hair) in her hair and in a dress. "And jou, señor?"

"My name's Lieutenant Up, Taz- nice to meet you. Now let's get you back to the ship. That is- if you're alright me carrying you." He looked at her with a slight smirk, and her expression softened only fractionally, but she knew he noticed.

"Si." She replied simply, and gave him a small smile back.

Si, she'd lost her whole family, but at that moment, she found a new one.


	14. Defeat

"Come on, Commander! It's just one little step!" His new 'trainer', Chloe, wasn't as bad as Peter, but she couldn't do a fraction of what Taz had done for him. It had been four months since Taz left, and without her training him, his confidence had shrunk so much it was almost invisible. He'd refused to have Peter back, sure, but that was as far as he stood up for himself now.

As a result of his confidence plummeting, Up's physical ability had taken a knock: he hadn't been able to lift weight for weeks, his limp had come back, and now he was back to working on the steps that Taz had always called pathetic.

So that meant he was pathetic.

He could hear her voice in his head as he tried to lift his right leg down the step faster: _Jou're weak... pathetic...how could I love a man who's as weak as jou? _Four months ago Up might've ignored the voice in his head, for it wasn't at all like hers; it was almost ghost-like, and it didn't have Taz's normal tone of voice... it was sneering and whispering- but it still reminded him of her. Her voice might've encouraged him on another day, but her tone of voice just didn't fit. Up had a worrying thought:

_What if I'm forgetting her?_

No, that couldn't be right; Taz was in his thoughts all the time! There wasn't a living second of his day when he didn't think about her. But that was just it: he _thought _about her. He needed to see her; it was no use imagining her here with him.

But she wasn't coming back; not for another eight months.

He sighed slowly, and coming back to reality, he saw that Chloe was looking at him expectantly. He coughed and tried to force his right leg to move faster, but it was no use. He collapsed onto the step and put his head in his hands.

"Aww, come on Commander! What's up?" Chloe asked sympathetically (thought to Up it was just annoying) as she sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulders.

"I miss her- I miss Taz! She's gone and it's all my fault! I was so stupid to make her go on that mission..." _why was he being like this? And why, of all people, was he opening up to Chloe?_ He wanted to shrug her off as she leant in and hugged his shoulders, but he somehow couldn't control what he said and did anymore- it was like being trapped in a cage. Taz had been the only one who'd seen the true him, and now she was gone it was as if he couldn't even _be _the true him.

"Come on babe, it wasn't your fault!" _what the hell was she on about?_ It most certainly was his fault that she got on that ship- he literally dragged her onto it! Chloe was just saying what she thought would make him feel better- and though the outside looked like it did; inside he just felt even worse.

He was disgusted at himself when he found that he was crying. Not just red-rimmed eyes and a sniff, but full-blown pathetic baby crying- inChloe's arms. He hadn't felt so unlike himself since he'd woken up after Qu'Onos.

"There there," he wanted to hit Chloe, "you know, I've tried this with some of my other pa- uh... friends, and it _really_ helped them." Up looked down at what she was handing him: a small black compact mirror. He took it and looked at her questioningly.

"You just look yourself in the eye, and you say to yourself: You are a worthwhile person! When I look into your eyes...uh... I get a pleasant feeling!" she was talking like an over-enthusiastic dumb teenage girl, probably making it up as she went along. "Look, Chloe... I don't really think this is for me- I'll look funny if I start doing that." He meant to say it in an annoyed voice, but it came out pathetically whining.

"Don't worry Up- if you look funny, you can laugh at yourself- it's okay to do that! Tell that to yourself too." He looked up at her and she smiled at him encouragingly. He decided that to agree was the only way to get rid of her, so he nodded and smiled back. "Thanks Chloe." Again he spoke weakly, but she seemed pleased with her work.

"Oh that's alright babe, I'll leave you to talk to that mirror!" And with that she jumped up and almost skipped out of the gym.

Up shook his head and rolled his eyes, but looked into the mirror all the same. He looked into the eyes in front of him and saw weakness: the eyes of a crippled, useless, broken man.

A defeated man.


	15. Jealousy

"So how was your day with the Commander, Clo?" Peter asked excitedly as Chloe strutted into the rehab clinic staff room. She sat down and he rushed over to her, a sly grin on his face.

"Well," she said, giving a high-pitched cough for effect as she put her bag down on the floor, "he said he really liked me, and I was like 'look, Commander- I'm your trainer, and I'm not sure it'd be allowed'"

"Oooh- playing hard to get- well done!"

"Don't interrupt me," Chloe silenced him with a hand,

"Sorry."

"Anyway, as I was saying, I said I wasn't sure it would be allowed, but then he leant in _really_ close to me, and whispered 'I don't care' and then..." she raised an eyebrow at Peter as he sat there open-mouthed.

"You didn't?" Peter was almost hysterical "You and the Commander?"

"Well, I don't call him Commander anymore- he said I could call him Up."

"OMDG! I have to tell the girls about this," he got up to go, but Chloe grabbed his arm,

"NO!" Peter looked at her, confused, "Uh... we don't want the Ambassador to find out, do we?" she finished with a nervous laugh, and Peter's suspicious look didn't fade, but he sat back down.

After Peter had gone Chloe smiled to herself. She'd always been jealous of Lieutenant Taz, so when Space-Claw had asked her to get involved with his plan, she jumped at the chance.

Taz woke up suddenly as she felt a strange pang in her stomach. It was weird- a strange feeling that Up was... no- he wouldn't. She shook her head and went back to sleep.


	16. Triumph

"YAAAAA!" Taz's famous battle-cry could've probably been heard from Earth as she charged over the top of the group's hiding place. They were on the planet Bexarus, and though it was only a minor mission because the robot wars hadn't long ended, there were always going to be alien thugs about; these alien thugs were terrorising a large cluster of villages in Bexarus, and the G.L.E.E had been assigned to destroy them, as it wasn't possible to keep alien thugs in jail for long.

They'd arrived about a week ago, and they'd had to scour the streets looking for signs as to where these aliens were hiding. Taz had been the one to locate the aliens' lair; she'd seen a suspicious-looking 'man', with overly-large yellow eyes he'd tried to seclude under a hat, slipping through a gap in the rocks just west of Geeorjiborough (an especially ugly, shady-looking rough village with a lot of crime- very unusual for the planet Bexarus). She'd ordered the rest of the team to follow her and, sure enough, they'd seen another six similar 'men' entering and exiting the gap in the rocks. They then snuck in between the rocks (much to Hibbart's dislike, but Taz was insistant) and hid in a dead-end in the rock maze that was beyond the gap.

So when Taz had seen her chance, she'd taken it: Hibbart had just finished whispering his plan to them, when a whole group of aliens without costume came round the corner and walked past their hiding place. She swung her zapper from her back and leapt from the dead-end, Hibbart and the rest of the group not far behind.

She caught the fuchsia-skinned aliens by surprise, so she was able to shoot three of them down before they even turned to face her. The rest immediately came at them with guns which seemed to fire poisonous bullets (Taz gathered this from the sight of an ensign on the ground frothing at the mouth after being shot). She ducked and four bullets narrowly missed the top of her head, shoulders and neck; this immediately fuelled the rage in her that had only been diluted by the quiet prior to a fight before. She hauled herself up from her crouching position and sprinted towards the aliens. One of them shot at her but she dodged right and shot it twice, right in the heart. She ran over to its now dead body and spat on it.

"Dat was for jou, Up." She said, speaking only to herself but with the intensity that could've filled the whole of the great hall in the G.L.E.E base.

From that moment on, every single alien- and everything she destroyed or killed in fact- was for Up. Every triumph was for him. Every triumph was a step closer to seeing him again.

She was momentarily distracted by her thoughts, but fortunately noticed in time that another alien was approaching her. She spun around and gave it three shots to the chest, shoulder and head- Up's signature kill. She saw an ensign struggling to fight a couple of aliens about ten metres away from her, and managed to shoot one of them in the back from where she stood; she realised that she was fighting more and more like Up, and she liked it- at least a small part of him fighting with her.

Thud; the last alien hit the ground after Taz shot it right between the eyes. She grimaced at all the bright pink alien bodies surrounding them, and the one of Ensign Spokes, which Hibbart was crouched over with the rest of the team. Taz jogged over and saw that he was thankfully still alive, but was still shuddering and his eyes were unfocused and cloudy. She crouched opposite Hibbart and caught his eye; he looked worried. Taz racked her brains for something she could do, and remembered something Up had once told her: _Just because you've conquered the enemy doesn't mean the battle's over._..

That was it! Taz leapt off the ground and ran towards the nearest alien body.

"Lieutenant Taz!" Hibbart called after her, "Stay with the squad!" but he knew it was no use telling Taz what to do, and she kept on running. As soon as she reached the alien she pulled away its gun, taking care to locate the trigger so she didn't accidentally pull it, and turned it on its side. She found exactly what she was looking for just under the barrel: a small test tube-like container full of a lime green liquid- antidote. She yanked it out of the gun and sprinted back to Hibbart.

"What the hell were you doing, Lieutenant? Haven't I always told the team to stay-" She silenced him by shoving the antidote in front of him.

"Antidote, Commander." She breathed, looking at him intently.

"But how-"

"The aliens had them in their guns, just in case they shot each other." Hibbart looked impressed. A private coughed not-so-subtly and Hibbart was brought back to reality. He held Ensign Spokes' mouth open and poured the antidote in. The rest of the team waited with baited breath, but she was sure she'd given him the right thing; Up always meant what he said.

After just twenty seconds, Spokes started to splutter and his eyes came back into focus. There was a joint sigh of relief throughout the group, and Hibbart helped the boy up to his feet.

"Woah- I thought I was gonna die back there!" the ensign said when they'd gotten safely back on the ship.

"Well son, you would've done if it wasn't for the Lieutenant." He gestured to Taz and she glared at him,

"I was just getting de job done, Commander." She said, but Spokes gave her a half-smile all the same.

Later, as Taz was retreating back to her room for the night, Hibbart called her over to him. She rolled her eyes, but turned and walked over to him.

"That was a pretty smart thing you did today, Lieutenant." She shrugged at him,

"It wasn't really me- I remembered something... someone once told me." She looked down, not ready to say his name to anyone but herself in fear that she might show her true emotions. Annoyingly, Hibbart seemed to understand though, and went to pat her on the shoulder, but then decided against it: he didn't want a knife in his back. Instead, he said to her,

"I'm sure Commander Up would be very proud of you, Lieutenant." And with that he turned and strode down the corridor, back to his room.

Taz would have normally glared at anyone who said Up's name, but in this instance, the fact that Up would be proud of her was a triumph.

Another step closer to him.


	17. Confusion

Up was confused. He hadn't been making progress at all; in fact he thought that he was going downhill, but Chloe seemed to think that he was doing an excellent job. Every day she seemed to congratulate him in more exaggerated ways than before, and even at the slightest things. For example, when Up had said to her,

"I'm done for the day." She'd thrown her arms around him and said,

"Oh, Up! I love how you're making your own decisions!" He also didn't like the fact that she called him Up and not Commander; Taz was one of the only people who just called him Up, and Chloe could never be equal to her...oh crap.

Chloe had been getting closer and closer to him over the past six months: She hugged him every five minutes, she called him 'babe', she bought him lunch, she wore ridiculous clothing for training that he was sure the G.L.E.E wouldn't allow, and he swore he'd seen her flutter her eyelashes at him a few times. Dead. God. Damn. It. He'd never thought of her that way, and he never planned to, but with the state he was in, he wasn't sure he'd be able to push her away. _No Up! You've got to be strong- at this time more than ever. If Taz finds out, then she'll never speak to you again, even if you try to explain that you're weak and alone and you really wanted her. So you have to push Chloe away. This is more important than being tough to fight. You need to be tough to l-_

At that moment, Chloe burst through the doors of the gym and strutted past the weights and the sparring ring towards him. She winked at him before sitting down on the steps next to him. He shuddered but she didn't notice. In fact, she looked like she was about to say something important- a rare occurrence for Chloe. He looked over at her cautiously, but she turned to him with the same plastic grin on her face as she always had when she was with him.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to take a break from training today." She said, over-sweetly.

"Uhh... why's that?" he asked, trying to avoid her eyes.

"Because I thought you might like to talk about how you're feeling right now!" she said, throwing her arm over his shoulder. Any trained member of the rehab clinic would've said it in a more serious tone (or not said it at all), and waited for an answer, but Chloe's high-pitched giggly tone really didn't fit what he was feeling.

Never the less, his mouth acted without consulting his brain first again, and he found himself saying,

"Uhh, okay." Chloe's grin got wider even though Up had thought that surely it couldn't, and she stood up and took his hand, pulling him to stand with her. He waited for an opportunity to drop her hand but she kept a tight hold on it, even as she led him through the corridors. They passed Peter going past the mess-hall, and Up saw him look down at their hands and back to Chloe, a smirk on his face. _Oh Dead-God no, _Up thought as she led him to the offices owned in the rehab centre.

"Uh, Chloe? Where are we going?" he asked, feeling repulsed but sounding nervous.

"Oh, we're just going to have a chat in...uh, _my_ office." _Her _office? Up was pretty sure that someone as seemingly unqualified as her wouldn't have an office. That wasn't really important though, and he let her lead him into an office anyway, and he cursed himself for not trying to check the name on the door.

"You can sit down anywhere you want." She chortled as she dropped his hand finally, and went over to get something behind the wooden desk that was the main feature of the small room. He shrugged and sat down on the small grey sofa in the corner. For a minute, he thought that she was going to sit behind the desk and they were going to have a professional talk, but she came back from behind the desk and sat down next to him. No- _right_ next to him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been closer than this to someone... oh yeah- about six months ago. He gulped and looked at what she'd gone behind the desk to get: a box of tissues. At this he looked at her sarcastically, and she put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay to cry, Up! Don't worry- _I'm_ her for you." She said the 'I'm' in such a way that Up thought she must've been implying that Taz wasn't. Never the less, he questioned it, again meaning to speak with the emotion he felt, but not being able to:

"What do you mean, _you're_ here for me? I mean, I know... I know she's gone, but she'll come back for me- right?" He sounded pathetic. Chloe looked up at him sympathetically and blinked more times than it was necessary. She put her other hand on his knee and looked him straight in the eye.

"Up. You've gotta listen to me. I know you think that Taz is gonna come back for you," he cringed at her name, "and by the way, I think it's really sweet of you to think that. But the truth is, girls like Taz... well, their job is always gonna be more important than anything." She nodded and blinked weirdly again. His mind filled with instant hatred for Chloe: how dare she try to say that Taz wasn't going to come back for him? And of course she put her job first- that was what everybody was meant to do in the G.L.E.E! However his physical response wasn't a patch on his true emotions.

"B-but of course sh-she would p-put her job f-first; sh-she's a g-good r-ranger!" _no, she was the best dead-god damn ranger in the history of the Galactic League._ And was he crying? Ugh. Chloe shook her head as she handed him a tissue, again sickeningly sympathetically.

"Oh, Up. I don't think you get what I'm trying to say here." She sighed dramatically, "umm... how can I say this politely... Taz is someone who will make you think she cares about you, and then the next day, not care about you... or care about someone else." She said in such a matter-of-fact tone that it took Up a while to register what she'd said, but when it did, he felt horrified. Surely Chloe was wrong- Taz would never go out with another ranger after all they'd been though...would she? He tried to shake the image of her with another man out of his head, but what Chloe had said was so thought-provoking.

"I-I don't know what to say." He looked down as he said it, trying to force the tears not to come.

"Hey," Chloe whispered, tilting his chin up with her hand, "I'm here for you- whenever you want I'll be there." She still had her hand on his face, and Up could sense something else in her eyes as she stared intently into his. _Come on, Up- be tough! You can't let yourself be led into betraying Taz! _

_But she said Taz wasn't coming back for him._

Chloe leant towards him and Up suddenly felt raw instinct take over. He pulled himself out of her arms and stood up, leaving her to almost fall sideways on the sofa. He looked down at her, and she had an expression which seemed to say, "why would he reject _me_?"

"I'm sorry, Chloe, but I don't think I feel like talking right now." It wasn't as mean as he'd meant it to come out, but he exited the room as fast as he could after that.

Thank the long dead god he still had a bit of his old self left in him.

"O-M-D-God!" Chloe said after Up shut the door behind him. Her mouth and eyes were still wide open with shock, but she remembered who was watching her. She stood up and looked up at the almost invisible CCTV camera in the corner.

"What do I do now?" she said in a whining tone, " I mean, I was doing my world-class flirting with him, but he just stood up and walked out!"

"I know, Miss Grant, I can hear and see everything you do!" a low, mechanic-but-human voice came back.

"Oh yeah!" She was momentarily back to her usual bubbly self, "but what's the plan now, Dr Space-Claw?"

"Well, I was planning to get you two on video tape, but now I guess a few more of your infamous rumours going around the ship will do the same."

"Oh cool! I'll talk to Peter!" she was back to her normal self again.

"You can go now." Came the reply, and Chloe practically skipped out of the room.


	18. Horror

That night, Up thought about what had happened in the rehab office. He was so relieved that he'd been strong enough to push Chloe away, and now he was pretty sure what she was up to, but that wasn't really the part he was concentrating on. It was what she'd said about Taz that was bugging him. His gut feeling was that she was wrong, but the most rapidly growing parasite is an idea, so though he hated the idea that Taz was with another guy, he couldn't help it growing in his mind. He eventually fell asleep, but from exhaustion, not contentment.

"And now, I am excited to announce... the squad of Starship 48 C9 who are the stars of this award ceremony!" the over-enthusiastic voice of the man on the stage hushed everyone in the hall. Up found himself in the main hall of the G.L.E.E base, but it was kitted out with banners and ribbons and lights. He was clapping now, like everyone else- who were they clapping?

Wait, 48 C9 was the ship Taz went on. He realised that he was watching the team Taz went with on the mission walk up on stage. His eyes scanned through the group until they finally found her: she looked absolutely stunning (though she did every day in his opinion). She was wearing an ocean-blue satin dress which flatteringly fell down to her knees. It had a slightly lighter coloured underskirt which just showed at the hem of the dress, and her long gloves matched it. He watched her in awe as she stood looking absent-mindedly into the crowd, in line with the rest of the team: the only girl, mind. He didn't even pay attention to the multiple speeches being given by faceless ensigns and privates. It was only when her name was called that he snapped back to what was happening. He watched her walk up to the announcer and accept her medal, and step up to the microphone.

"I want to say that I'm so glad de mission was a success, and I'm proud of de whole team," she smiled back at the line, something actually quite unlike her, "and I want to thank all de people who helped the team, and me, to concentrate on getting de job done." _What? _Up knew Taz hated that saying- she always said it was too cheesy.

"And dat includes Commander Hibbart, obviously, and de rest of de team, mi mama y papa," she looked to the sky as she said this. This was too strange: Taz never spoke about her family to anyone other than him, "and of course my boyfriend," Up's heart swelled and his eyes lit up, "Sam, I love you." As soon as his heart had doubled in size it shrunk and shattered into a million pieces. Lieutenant Sam? He was now watching Taz run down the stage steps and jump into Sam's arms.

He tried to shout out to her but he felt like there was an invisible concrete wall in front of him. He couldn't move. He couldn't cry out. He couldn't run up and punch the guy in the face. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't break down. He couldn't register the fact that she suddenly had hair down to the middle of her back when she'd only been gone a year. He couldn't do anything as he lifted her up and spun her around, then put her down and tickled her under the chin, making her laugh. He couldn't show the crushing horror that struck his heart, and that must've surely been worse than death, when she put her hands on his shoulders and he put his hands around her waist, and she pulled his head down and kissed him passionately. He couldn't even look away.

"No, Taz, please. Taz- I... NO!" He shot up in bed with tears already streaming down his face. He put his head in his hands and willed himself not to think about what he'd just seen.

_It was just a dream, it was just a dream. Don't worry, Up- she's not going to do that. It was just a dream, it's not real, it's not real...it's not real...it's not real... nothing like that's going to happen..._

_Was it?_


	19. Terror

Well that was easy. The crew of Starship 48 C9 had just loaded back onto it and were preparing to take off to their next planet, which would take them a few weeks to do. They all felt in relatively high spirits, as the mission they'd just finished was a great success: all they'd had to do was find and lock up a bunch of naive idiotas who thought that they'd decide to promote the robots' legacy from the robot wars- which was in fact, nothing. However the orders had been to hand anyone or anything supporting 'the other side' of the robot wars to the local police, or to destroy them if they were aliens. There had been no casualties- on either side (something which Commander Hibbart was pleased about, but not so much Lieutenant Taz), and they'd done it in a few days. Now the planet Weeziper was at peace again, and the crew had a few days to kill before they were meant to be arriving at their next planet.

Being a fairly small crew, they eventually found that they had to talk to each other to pass the time, or they would all go insane. So they all were gathered in the tiny dining area and were sharing and listening to each other's stories- well, gossiping really. It was all really inane conversation, until Private Spokes brought the one member of the crew who had decided not to join them's past up.

"So guys," he said in a hushed voice and leaning in, still fearing her even though she was in her room down the corridor, "what's the deal with Lieutenant Taz?"

"What do you mean?" asked the Commander, who had been sitting back in his chair, not really listening to the conversation until now.

"Well, she's all weird and stuff: she never talks to us, and when we try to talk to her about going back to the base she yells at us to go away, and you know she stabbed me and Speller." He gestured to his friend sitting to his left and the others nodded.

"Well son, I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but I think that's her way of dealing with the fact that she's missing her... friend, Commander Up."

"Commander Up?" Ensign Timmy blurted out, chuckling, "I heard those two were... you know..."

"Yeah well _I _heard when he got injured in the robot wars," Private Speller sniggered, "he had an operation, and now he's got no b-"

Private Speller was suddenly up against a wall with a knife holding him there by the shirt, and the force of one petite Mexican Lieutenant pressing his shoulders against the wall so much that he was sure he'd have bruises soon. His smirk turned quickly and almost comically to utter terror when he realised who'd been listening to him.

Lieutenant Taz had her death glare on full power, and it was taking all her power not to stab him right there and then, but they needed the numbers for their mission. Instead she decided it would be best to make his life hell by making him live in fear that she was going to stab him every day.

"Don't. Jou. Dare. Speak about him. Ever. Again." Her voice was a whisper, lulling him into a false sense of security, "OR I WILL STAB JOU AGAIN SO JOU HAVE A MILLION ONES TO MATCH DE ONE ON JOUR BACK!" He jumped and looked like he was about to pee himself when she suddenly rammed the volume up. "NOW GO AND GET RID OF ALL DE ESTUPIDA RUMOURS JOU THINK JOU'VE HEARD!" She ripped the knife out of his shirt and he started a panicked run out of the door. Before he reached it, she called him back,

"And Speller?" he turned around, only to meet her fist in his face. He let out a whimper of pain before pelting out of the dining area, not wanting his fellow crew members to see him cry.

She turned to the rest of the crew, who all had the same expression of terror on their faces, par Hibbart who was shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"Lieutenant Taz, may I remind you that we need the numbers for our next mission? We don't want to be at any disadvantage, and I don't think you're setting a very good example to the rest of the team." She rolled her eyes, not bothering about manners; they were in space and she wanted to show that she was annoyed.

"With all due respect, Commander, I believe that people should stick up for those whose names are being dragged through de dirt." She worded it as professionally as she could, but made her emotions very clear. Hibbart sighed before replying.

"Fair point. Now, Lieutenant, I'm sure you have quite a few stories to tell!" _Wrong thing to say, hijo de puta._ A wave of the emotions from her past, the robot wars, and her Quinceañera flooded through her, and instantly she felt claustrophobic in the small ship.

"No." she replied simply, and dodged any more questions by bolting out of the door and back to her room.

"That Commander...uh _Commander Up,_ eh?" Private Spokes was cautious to say his name, "why is she so attached to him?" Hibbart took a deep breath before replying, so quietly it could've been to himself.

"He taught her everything she knows."


	20. Distraction

As Taz finally burst through the door to her room on the ship, she felt herself able to breathe again. Unfortunately, exhaling after the feelings from her past had flooded through her resulted in a large lump in her throat which threatened to surface as tears. She tried to breathe out as best she could but it was no use; she just felt even more light-headed. Sitting down in her bed, she folded her arms across her protectively and tried to think of something that would take her mind off the memories which still so badly affected her.  
><em>Come on Taz, jou've got to push de thoughts away. Jou can't let de bad things from jour past get in de way of jour job!<br>Just don't think about dem- don't think about Up...  
>Oh who are jou kidding? Jou can't not think about him! It's impossible!<br>Okay, so it's not all bad memories with Up; it's mostly good ones! Jou've gotta think of a good memory, and concentrate on dat.  
>Okay Taz, think. One of jour good memories with him- and it has to be a powerful one...<em>  
>Taz would've snapped her fingers as the answer sprang into her head had she not been trying to stop the tears from falling. Of course: she cringed a little as she remembered her thoughts at the time, but dios muerto it was a great memory: the time he taught her calculus.<p>

Taz stared at the book. The book stared back at her. She felt like taking the knife that Up had given her a week after she joined the Academy and plunging it right through the calculus book which seemed to taunt her just by existing.  
>She'd realised that she'd been spending all her time in the gym, training for her combat exam, but she hadn't spent any time revising for the annoyingly compulsory maths test. All this was needed to get her out of the Academy, to become a real Starship Ranger, so she was going to try and cram as much of it into her head as possible. Unfortunately, this wasn't as easy as it had sounded to her before, and she searched her mind for reasons why she couldn't just concentrate.<p>

It wasn't until the reason walked into the library, where she was studying, that she realised what, or indeed who, the reason was.  
>"Hey Taz!" her best friend, an almost-nineteen-year-old with dark brown hair, incredible bluer-than-blue eyes and a rather muscular build walked up to her and sat down in the seat next to her. She instantly felt her heart try to leap out of her chest and her palms start to sweat. Luckily, she wasn't one to wear their heart on their sleeve, and thought she gave a pretty cool and calm reply.<br>"Hey." she smiled but by the way he raised one eyebrow, she could tell through his absolute hotness that overwhelmed her, that he didn't believe her smile.  
>"Well that was enthusiastic; what's up?" he crossed his arms and slid down on the table so his chin was resting on his forearms and he was looking up at her through his eyelashes. So. Freakin'. Hot. Avoiding answering the question, she asked a question that she'd only just realised was quite important.<br>"Hey- what are jou doing at de Academy? I thought jou were meant to be at the G.L.E.E base?" he chuckled at the obvious change of subject, but answered anyway.  
>"Yeah, well they've got some new guy called Dr Space-Claw who's putting most rangers off duty at the moment. They said he's working on some sort of project... I dunno. I was pretty annoyed that they weren't letting us go on missions and stuff, but I figured that I'd get to spend more time with you, so that's great! Now what's wrong?"<br>Taz considered what he'd said for a while, knowing there was something behind his voice that she couldn't quite fathom. Then she realised that she hadn't responded to his rather complementary comment.  
>"That's great! I'm so glad you're here" she threw her arms around him and he instantly hugged her back, nearly sending a shiver down her spine. She fought it and pulled away, finding that the grins on their faces matched.<br>"Yeah, we only got to destroy fifty of those weird aliens: the Zapatillas- I think I told you about them. Now Taz," he moved his face really close to hers and looked her sternly in the eye, but her heart sped even faster, "What. Is. Wrong?" he still had a joking tone, but it was mixed with a hint of concern. She looked at him sheepishly, then looked angrily at her book.  
>"It's dis estupida calculus! I...I can't do it..." she looked down ashamedly, but Up reached his hand to her chin and tilted her head upwards again to face him, making her cheeks feel about fifty degrees hotter than her usual body temperature. <em>No- don't jou dare blush! Jou're being estupida. And anyway, Up doesn't think of jou dat way... <em>she snapped back to the present when he responded.  
>"Didn't I tell you Taz? 'I can't' is an impossible phrase for us; we're starship rangers." he was deadly serious, and she actually felt a lot better about it already. But... she decided she wanted to stretch it out a bit more... just to see what Up did.<br>"Yeah, well one of us is a starship ranger..." she looked down again, 'accidentally' getting quite a nice view of Up's biceps as he folded his arms on the table. He immediately brought her chin up again as he'd done before, and fixed her with a more authoritative look than she'd ever seen in him before.  
>"Taz. Listen to me: you will become a starship ranger, and you're gonna be the toughest son-of-a-bitch the G.L.E.E has ever seen-"<br>"Except for jou!" she chimed in more cheerfully and he chuckled,  
>"...except for me. You've got what it takes- no, got more than what it takes to be a great ranger. But...you need to pass your math exam too." at this she groaned and made a face at him.<br>"Come on, Taz! You cannot give up on this! You need to pass the exam to be able to go on missions- is that what you want?" she nodded her head vigorously "Well then I'm gonna teach you calculus. What do you know so far?" she held up her fingers to form a '0' and he raised one eyebrow in that same way, sending torrents of butterflies through her stomach.  
>"You mean to say, that you haven't revised any calculus for the exam which is a week away? I know you missed the lessons because you came into the year late, but how come you haven't been revising?" again she looked at him sheepishly, and considered spieling some excuse to him, but she gave up; she knew she couldn't lie to him.<p>

"Uh... I... I've been... working out in de gym." She expected Up to be mad at her, or at least chide her for not studying, but as she looked back at him, she saw that he had the biggest smile on his face and he was biting his lip as to hold back a laugh.

"Que pasa?" she asked him confusedly, and he finally let the laugh out; it was so infectious that she started laughing too, but once the laughter had dies down, she asked him again,

"Seriously Up, what's so funny?" he smirked at her and put his arm around her shoulders. _. OK! We know he has his arm around jou- don't be so estupida, jou're just friends! _

"You're brilliant Taz, you know that?" she smiled up at him and felt her heart swell with achievement, "You reminded me of me, when I was in the Academy. I studied, unlike you," he nudged her in the side, "but I always wanted to be in the gym."

"Up, dat was only two years ago for jou. I'm only-." She was interrupted when he clasped a hand over her mouth to stop her sentence going any further.

"Yes, and I was the same age as you are now- don't forget it." He said, in a mumbled whisper. _Oops- _she'd momentarily forgotten their agreement. When Up had rescued her, he couldn't bear to see her go to one of the awful rescue camps, and she'd wanted to destroy every single robot she met after what they'd done. So when Up took her back to the ship, he told them she was eighteen- old enough to join the Academy, when she was barely fifteen. She didn't know exactly why he'd done this at the time, but she discovered that they matched each other's personalities like puzzle pieces, and they'd quickly become best friends. Ever since she'd been determined to prove that she was as good as anyone else at the Academy, and in sparring lessons, she'd certainly shown that she was better.

Up took his hand away from her mouth and winked at her. _Oh come on- a wink?¿por qué tiene el que ser tan caliente?_

"So, let's have a look at this calculus then." He said, pulling her book towards him. She watched him as he looked over the questions; not a single sign of confusion in his eyes. After he'd finished reading, he leant away from the paper and smiled at her.

"Well this isn't so hard Taz!"

"Look, esé, it's tough." she raised an eyebrow and he quickly tried to recover,

"Okay, so if you've never done calculus before, then it's gonna be hard at first, but don't worry! I can teach you this. Look, all you do is divide the..." She wasn't bored by what he was saying, but she was so mesmerised by the sound of his voice as he explained baffling equations to her, that she didn't actually concentrate on what the words coming out of his mouth actually were.

After about one hour more of explaining, and about twenty 'hmm?'s from Taz, they were at the stage where she felt confident enough to attempt a whole question sheet on her own. She stared at the book, but this time, she felt the book avoid her stare in shame. She was going to beat it. She started scribbling down sums and equations, and about a minute later, she leant back from the table and looked at Up, contented and expectant. He reached down and took the sheet where she'd written the answers. His face was covered by the paper as he read it, so she couldn't see his expression. _Cabron- he knows what he's doing_ she cursed him but still let a small smile play on her lips. Slowly, gradually, Up lowered the paper, knowing exactly how the suspense was killing her. She finally let out a loud sigh of irritation, and snatched the paper from his hands, revealing the grin of pride that was plastered all over his face.

"So?" she asked him, smirking slightly at his face. He put a hand on her shoulder and she temporarily felt like he was going to say she'd got them all disastrously wrong, but his next words put a lightning bolt of thrill through her,

"One. Hundred. Percent." Her mouth opened in shock, but quickly turned to match his grin as she pulled him into a hug. This time the butterflies were there, but they mixed with a huge sense of achievement. _She'd conquered calculus_.

Once she'd released him, Up stood from the table and gathered up her books and paper, and gestured for her to stand up too. She did, and he held out his free hand to her, which she took unquestioningly.

"Now I certainly didn't expect to be doing that when I came back to the base. Let's do something more fun." Her eyes widened and her face lit up, realising they were both thinking the same thing.

"Karate Kid?"

"Definitely."


	21. Humiliation

"Psst! Brenda! Pippa!" A nurse who was usually off duty at this time came half bustling-half running towards the other two nurses at the front desk of the hospital ward, who jumped at the sound of her voice, excited at the thought that she might have something to say which was more exciting than their jobs to them.

"What's up, Zoe?" Pippa asked as she approached them.  
>"And please let it be good; I'm sick of filling in forms all day." Brenda chipped in, moaning.<br>"Oh no no no girls," Zoe breathed and leant forward onto the desk, making the other two huddle close to listen, "you have GOT to hear this- it's a piece of absolute gossip gold!" the other two looked at each other briefly before turning back to Zoe and gesturing with their hands as to say 'what is it, then?'. Zoe cleared her throat before continuing, "Okay, so you know how I always go to the gym on Thursdays when I get my break?" Pippa nodded and Brenda raised an eyebrow, looking Zoe up and down, "well I was on my way to the snack machi- um... treadmills, when Peter from the rehab clinic came running up to me! And, I know we all hate him, but he does have the best gossip. So he's like, best friends with Chloe from the rehab clinic, and he told me that she told him that she..." Zoe was purposely building the suspense to the irritation of her friends, "...is going out... with... Commander Up!" The two nurses' jaws dropped and immediately they were asking her questions.

"Aww! I knew Chloe liked the Commander! But how did she bag him? They are soooo cute together!" Pippa gushed, and Brenda gave her an odd look,

"Hang on... I thought that Commander Up liked Lieutenant Taz? You were the one who initiated operation 'Get Taz and Up together'. So where's the proof?" She raised an eyebrow at Zoe, who sighed in response.

"Honestly Brenda, stop being so sceptical. Peter saw Chloe and Up holding hands and walking towards one of the rehab clinic offices. They were in there like, an hour or so, and then Peter saw Up come out of the office, and his face was all red, so there's your proof!" Brenda still didn't look satisfied, but didn't question any more.

"Plus, Lieutenant Taz went on a mission about nine months ago, so she obviously doesn't care about the Commander." Pippa nodded and the three nurses gossiped until Zoe announced that she 'had' to go and tell more people. Brenda shook her head and phased out of Pippa's rambling about how 'perfect' Chloe and the Commander were for each other, and thought to herself, _What the hell is Commander Up thinking? I always thought... well I always respected the fact that him and Lieutenant Taz could've been together, but didn't show it to the Galactic League. Now him and Chloe are flaunting their relationship around? It doesn't sound like the Commander's quite himself, even after almost twenty months since his injury... Something doesn't add up. _Unfortunately, Brenda knew that she was going to be one of the only two people who questioned a good piece of gossip in the G.L.E.E, and Lieutenant Taz was the other one.

Up walked into the mess-hall and made his way over to the table that he used to share with Taz, but had been sitting alone at for the past nine months. He didn't feel like eating; he'd had people whispering behind his back all day and he didn't know why. Eventually he'd settled for the fact that they were laughing at how weak he was; a once strong and tough Commander now no more confident than a little girl. He assumed that they were all still talking about him, as when he walked in he'd noticed a significant drop in the volume of chattering in the hall, so he was surprised that when he looked up from having his head in his hands, he found Lieutenant Tobies, Lieutenant Elliotts and Lieutenant Marks sitting across from him with raised eyebrows and smirks on their faces.

"Uh... alright, Lieutenants?" Up asked cautiously, slightly worried by their expressions. They looked at each other briefly, before Lieutenant Elliotts replied,

"Sure Commander! We were just wondering... if you're allowed to date people in lower ranks than you, then is everyone else?" Up looked confusedly at him. _Please don't let them know about me and Taz- the Ambassador would kill me! _He thought, though he kept a straight face.

"What are you talking about, Elliotts?" Up asked, not as authoritatively as he planned to. Then it was their turn to look confused.

"Well, we've sort of got our eye on..." Lieutenant Tobies coughed, "I mean, there are a certain three girls who we... wish were Lieutenants too..." Up smiled to put his mind at rest from worry that he might be reprimanded by him for thinking about something that was, strictly speaking, against G.L.E.E rules. He knew who they were talking about, and he looked over at the girls whose conversation he could hear:

"Come on, guys- you said we'd watch 'Herbie- Fully loaded' tonight! I love that film!" Private Eve said to her two friends as she tried to pull them away from the table.

"Okay, but there'd better be snacks! Maybe some cucumber... no-carrot sticks definitely." Private Beth was off in a dream as she talked, and Private Jenna shook her head at her friend and added,

"Yeah... or we could get some sweets! Like haribo, or..."

Up tuned out of the conversation and looked back at the boys in front of him, each with expectant looks on their faces. He sighed and gave them as stern a look as he could in the state he was,

"Look boys, I see your problem here, and I know it's hard, but you'll just have to wait until they're Lieutenants." The Lieutenants' faces fell. "However," they lit up again, "if you agree to work extra hard on missions and no one _catches _you with those three girls, then I guess I can forget about what you said to me." He winked at them. _Why was he going so easy on them? And- hang on- where did they get the idea that he's dating someone in lower ranks than him?_ Suddenly he was panicking.

"Thanks Commander! We'll definitely, uh... take your advice." Lieutenant Marks said, nodding his head to show he knew what Up meant as they stood up to walk away. Before they did though, Up called them back,

"Uh... can you wait a second please?" _why was he sounding so shy? He was talking to people in lower ranks than him for dead-god's sake!_ The Lieutenants turned back to him and stood, waiting for him to speak.

"Where did you get the idea that I'm... dating someone who's not in my ranks?" He whispered, and the three Lieutenants again narrowed their eyes in confusion. Lieutenant Marks opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by someone behind him, who incidentally answered Up's question.

"Hey commander," Lieutenant Sam sneered from across the mess-hall, "using your Commander's status to pull hot girls is a bit against the rules, isn't it?" There was immediately a roar of laughter from Sam's table and tables surrounding it, and the three Lieutenants in front of him were immediately yelling at them to stop being so childish. Up was still confused- _how did they find out about Taz?_ His question was answered when he tuned back into the conversation that Sam and his gang were having, rather loudly.

"Yeah! _And_ I heard that they... you know... in Doctor Lodge's office the other day!" Sam shouted, oblivious to the irritation of anyone trying not to listen to him speaking. _So it wasn't Chloe's office after all._

"OMDG!" a rather hysterical Private Liz giggled, heard over dozens more murmurs and laughs.

"It _must _be true- Peter's never gets his facts wrong- even if he is a bit of a shadow to Chloe." Lieutenant Jones added.

"Exactly! He follows Chloe around all day, so he'd gotta know what she's... you know... _Up _to!" Sam's comment sent everyone into shrieks of laughter.

"But how can they be...if Up's," Private Ben had to pause mid-sentence because he was laughing so much, "if Up's... got no balls!" That got the most, and loudest, laughs of all.

"What! How does he even pee?" Someone asked.

"He must have to sit down!" another added. Up wasn't even paying attention what was worse, was that Up just let them laugh. He couldn't even hear Elliotts, Tobies and Marks hollering to them to shut up.

That was when he felt it. The first tiny, damp, salty tear slide jaggedly down his left cheek, criss-crossing over the may scars on the left side of his face. It fell to the table, and was then followed by another, then another, then about fifty more, gushing from his left eye, the other not quite yet developed enough to have an ocular sensor malfunction. He didn't even try to stop, or try to wipe them away. He just let them fall. He didn't even notice that the whole mess-hall had stopped and was staring at him until Lieutenant Sam started giggling again, which of course, lead almost the entire hall into hysterics.

He could sense that the three Lieutenants who'd been defending him were looking at him too, wondering what had happened to their Commander. Up couldn't look them in the eye. He knew that the old him, the one that he was sure was still inside him, trapped, would've turned Sam into a pile of jelly just by looking at him, but he wasn't the old him anymore. He must've sat there for about five minutes while rangers all in lower ranks than him laughed at him as he cried, before he stood up. The laughter dampened on some privates' and the ensigns' part, but Sam and his gang were still wiping their eyes as they laughed maliciously.

_He couldn't just stand there- what are you gonna do, Up?_ He racked his brains for some remark that would completely own Lieutenant Sam, or at least put the fear of dead-god in him. However it was a fruitless search; there was not a single thing in his new, weak brain that would help him, except of course Taz. _But she's not here_. A torrent of new tears flooded over the drying ones as he realised her absence for what felt like the first time but had been one time of many. It only made them laugh harder, if that were even possible. So he did the only thing he could just about do with his new body:

He turned and walked out of the door. And yeah, his limp was back.


	22. Realisation

_Why did he have to be so dead-god damn weak?_

Up could hardly see through his tears as he limped back to his room, and when he reached the door, he nearly fell against the grey frame and tumbled across his room once he'd tapped in his lock-code, and collapsed onto his bed. _So this was what his life was reduced to now: a couple of horrid rumours which people laughed in his face about without even caring about what his reaction would be because he wouldn't even be able to hurt a fly. Pathetic- just pathetic. _

Literally, the two sides of him fought against each other mentally: his new mind bawling and whimpering at the thought of what they'd said back in the mess-hall, and his old self cursing him for not doing something, for not standing up to such childish comments, for being so weak, so pathetic, so... he knew that Taz would be able to think of a dozen more words that were much more insulting if she saw him like this.

_Taz_. The only thing that could ever cheer him up, though she would probably punch him in the face for being so weak. He smiled as he thought about her, but this resulted in more tears and fights between both parts if his mind. He hadn't cried like this, like such a baby, since... well he guessed that it would've had to be when he actually _was _a baby. If only Taz was here then... no, he couldn't think like that; he knew he'd done what was best sending her on the mission, and he couldn't go back to that personal debate again. He just needed to concentrate on thinking about when she was there, not the fact that she wasn't there now.

"Dead-god Up! Concentrate!" he intended to shout at himself but it yet again came out a murmur. He pressed his fingers to his temples in an attempt to clear his thoughts, but the absence of her was just too overwhelming.

Up didn't know how long he'd been lying on his bed, willing himself not to think about what had just happened in the mess-hall, when he slipped into something he thought was in between a dream and a vision.

It was exactly three years after they'd met when he realised. They'd just got back from a mission (Up noted that it was probably the last before the start of the robot wars), and the crew were going to celebrate the start of their entitled leave by having a party in the mess-hall. Up didn't follow them though. He knew what day it was, and he'd seen the look in Taz's eyes as she'd dashed off the ship as soon as they'd landed. He walked off towards her room despite calls from his fellow crew members and the fact that his stomach was crying out for food, and turned it into a jog when he was two turnings from her room.

"Taz?" he called quietly, but firmly enough for her to take him seriously. She didn't answer or open the door, but he had to be with her today; he'd promised himself that he'd protect her forever. He typed in the combination that only the two of them knew, and cautiously turned the handle, tapping on the door as it creaked forward to let her know he was coming in. He knew she would be in here, but he couldn't help the slight doubt creeping into his head when he couldn't see or hear her. However, once his eyes adjusted to the dark in the room that came from the closed curtains and black-out blinds, they settled on a small figure curled up in the window seat. He sighed and walked over to it slowly, then sat down next to it. It wasn't until it turned to face him that he could really determine who it was in the dusk-like atmosphere of her room.  
>"Taz." He breathed, speaking so softly that he was sure if she were any further away from him, she wouldn't have heard him. He looked into her eyes and saw that they were't teary or blotchy, but red-rimmed with light purple semi-circles colouring her pale face. She hadn't been crying- he knew that. It looked like she'd been drinking, and for a moment Up was worried; she was only eighteen.<p>

Well, eighteen today, to be exact.

_Oh Taz, you know alcohol won't solve any of this_! He was about to say it when she held up something in her hand and said rather groggily,  
>"Chocolate?" It was an offer. Up looked at what she was holding: a bar of Andromeda Chocolate. He tried not to breathe a huge sigh of relief, and took the chocolate, giving her a small smile.<p>

After they'd done their usual routine of just sitting together in silence, feeling grateful for each other's presence, for about ten minutes, Up glanced over at Taz again for the dozenth time. She was looking down at her knees and he could hear her jagged breathing. Careful not to make a sound or sudden movement, he edged along the window seat until he was about ten centimetres from Taz. When she didn't shoot him a death-glare, he gradually lifted his arm up to it was level with her neck, and watchfully slid it around her shoulders. He released the breath he'd been holding when she didn't shove him away or punch him (last year it had been a more...active birthday), but it was quickly held again when she suddenly turned and flung her arms around him, burying her face in his t-shirt. He looked down at her: she had her eyes tightly shut like she was trying to fight the tears, but on her lips was a tiny smile. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her seemingly fragile frame protectively, and she pulled him closer.

"It just gets worse every year, Up." She mumbled into his chest, and her words were enough to pull even his heartstrings. He rested his cheek on top of her head and squeezed his eyes shut too,

"I know, Taz. I know." He was going to go on and say more, but she interrupted him; silencing him as always.

"But... it makes it much easier to deal with... with jou here." Even his tough old heart was warmed.

"But if jou tell anyone I said dat, I'm gonna kill jou." He chuckled softly and stroked her hair. The normal Taz was back.

Their words then progressed to sentences, and soon they were chatting about things they would normally talk about, only moving from their embrace when Taz reached over to grab the chocolate bar that Up had left in his previous position on the window seat. She broke off a huge chunk and started to eat it, but when Up took the bar to do the same, she snatched it back, her expression not changing. He tried again, but she grabbed it before he'd even touched the wrapper. He ended up having to tickle her under the chin and risk a death threat to get a small chunk of the milk chocolate. He watched Taz as she ate the rest of her piece, and when she saw him looking at her, she raised an eyebrow and he jumped, saying some rubbish to excuse the fact that he was staring at her like an idiot.

"Uh... so you really like that chocolate, 'eh?" He scratched the back of his head before replacing his arm around her shoulder. She nodded and gave him the small smile that was saved only for days like today when he cheered her up.

"It's my favourite," she yawned and her head dropped against his chest again, "how about jou?" Up took his time on his answer, so when he looked down to tell her, he found that she'd fallen asleep in his arms.

She never found out that his favourite chocolate...was her eyes.

It was in those few moments when Up thought- really thought about where he was now, who he was with, that he realised. He thought about how she'd been his only true friend that he could remember, even though he'd only known her three years compared to other rangers he'd known since the Academy. He thought about how he looked forward to training with her, even if they were just in the gym together, working in different areas. He thought about how when she laughed, it was like singing to him. He thought about how she fought: brutally and usually with blood and dirt spattered over her face, but it was beautiful to him. Oh he knew she was beautiful; he'd know that from the first moment he saw her. He thought about her choppy bible-black hair which piled into a messy heap when she tied her red bandana around her head- the hair which was beneath his fingers now. He loved how her hair was like her personality: seemingly hard, boyish and constricted, but incredibly gentle and flowing once it was without her usual mask. He remembered when they'd been on a particularly long mission, and her hair had grown just a little, so it was too difficult to keep in a bandana. She'd let it down and he marvelled at the memory of her hair falling in soft waves to just below her jaw line, blowing in the wind as they'd crouched behind a rock ready to charge at the enemy. Most men would class a woman with alien blood staining their tank top, several cuts and bruises littered over their skin, a scowl worthy of a thunderstorm and sweat pouring down their forehead as someone they'd avoid and snigger about, but Up didn't see that when he looked at Taz. When she was fresh from a battle he saw the glow of rare pink on her cheeks that was a thousand times more beautiful than the opening of a rose, he saw the way her naturally bronzed skin shimmered with sweat and made it look like her body was made of diamonds, he saw the way each individual lock of hair rippled differently when her feet bounced off the ground as she ran. He saw those striking brown eyes come to life as the adrenaline rushed through her body like a lightning bolt, and setting his mind on fire whenever they bored into his. _Those eyes._ So wise and having seen so much of pain and destruction, yet unbelievably stunning to him with every emotion they showed.

So he looked down at that same girl that was now officially (well, she'd been that way to the G.L.E.E's knowledge for three years) a woman, curled up in his arms asleep, and dead-god, it hit him in the face like a concrete wall when realised.

When he realised that he was in love with her.


	23. Authority

A flash of red; that was all they saw of the murderer. It sounded cliché but life really did go in slow motion for the crew of Starship 48 C9 when their final trip back to their ship was interrupted. They all heard it: a single soft 'pew' sound, a sizzling crack as it hit its target, and the blunt thump as it hit the ground, swirling up the blue dust on the planet's surface so they couldn't quite see what had happened when they all turned round until the ash-like substance settled.

They found their Lieutenant crouched on the ground where they'd heard the thud, with a large amount of dark blood spread over her hands and tank top. They moved closer to try and help her, but she pushed them away, gesturing to something at her feet. They followed her gaze and their eyes settled on Commander Hibbart, who was lying in a heap in the blue dirt, who was clutching a deep zapper wound at his chest, whose face was paler than the sky of the planet they were on, who was losing blood too fast, whose blood was on Lieutenant Taz's hands.

Taz tried to work as quick as she could, by putting pressure on the nasty hole in Hibbart's chest and trying to make him look at her, to stay awake, but even the most advanced doctors at the base would have had trouble to slow the excessive bleeding at least. Her hands shook as she tried to cover the wound with the gauze an ensign had given her from the first aid kit, and she told herself to stop trembling and to concentrate, but unfortunately the G.L.E.E hadn't been very generous on its medical supplies on minor missions like theirs after the robot wars. She swore loudly and resulted to using her hands to cover the hole, but Hibbart grabbed her wrists and looked her in the eye with a weak, but deadly serious frown. She stopped, and his hands fell away in exhaustion. However, despite his exhaustion, he managed to breathe a sentence at her.

"Don't... please...just go..." Taz shook her head,

"I'm not going to leave jou here when we were seconds from finishing de mission!" she yelled, ignoring him and the unbelievable amount of blood pouring from his chest.

"Lieutenant!" he was dying, but he could still sound authoritative, "You... you are in charge... of this mission...now. T-t-take" the zapper must've reached his lungs, "the rest of... the crew... b-back. Th-th-that... is my... final... order." Taz's brow was furrowed with guilt, but she nodded at Hibbart, and managed to choke out,

"Yes Commander." She thought he heard it, and she hoped that it was his last thought that he'd got the dead-god damn job done, as his head tilted away from them and the pulse Taz felt beneath her fingers slowed to a stop.

She stood up and turned around to face the handful of privates and ensigns who'd never expected to see a death on this kind of mission. They looked at her both expectantly and with worry in their eyes. They looked at their Lieutenant: her usually white tank top was soaked through with deep burgundy- the same colour as her hands and knees where she'd knelt next to Hibbart. No one dared to say a word as she walked through their small huddle, parting it like the red sea.

However, her next words were so full of authority, yet so simple, that it sent shivers of pride down all of their spines and made them feel a sense of having seen what a real mission was like.

"Let's take dis ship home."


	24. Shock

In the year that Taz had been away, Up's condition- physically and mentally, had practically deteriorated. He felt like he hadn't got a tough bone left in his body, and he'd lost all respect from the rangers bar the ensigns who were due to enter the base in a few days to be separated into various missions; they'd only heard of _the _Commander Up: the toughest, meanest, scariest war hero in the G.L.E.E with a cold, hard, ice heart, who was enough to kill a man with one look. Up didn't know where the stories that they told about him came from, but he was kind of glad of them as it gave him at least some shield on his status. What he did know though, was that his heart wasn't made of ice anymore, as it might have been seven years ago. His heart had been thawing out since he'd met Taz, and it had nearly melted when he'd realised he loved her, but since his injury he'd only had that melted heart to cling onto, and of course, his heart was with her now.

He limped down to corridor towards the mess-hall with his hands in his pockets and his head hanging low: a normal stance for him now. He was just about to turn a corner, when he saw an...eye-catching to say the least, shade of pink in the corner of his eye. His head turned just in time to catch Chloe slipping into the same office she'd taken him in around three months ago. Now knowing that it wasn't in fact her office, curiosity overcame him and he went over to the door, which, luckily for him, was slightly ajar. When he heard Chloe talking to someone, he pressed his back against the wall next to the door and turned his head so he could hear what she, or rather, they were saying.

"Progress?" Came a booming yet rough voice that Up didn't recognise.

"Well, no duh!" Up shuddered at Chloe's sickeningly girly voice, "Rosie told me that Pippa told her that it was, like, so funny in the cafeteria the other day!"

"Yes, Miss Grant, you told me that in our meeting last month." The voice was annoyed, "Any progress with his...condition?" _His? Who are they talking about? _Up thought as he edged closer to the door in anticipation.

"OMD-God yeah! He doesn't even protest when I, like, totally full-on flirt with him! Which isn't surprising, seeing as it's me, but I you know him..." Oh great, they were talking about a boyfriend of Chloe's. Up went to push himself off the wall when the voice thundered again, stopping both him and probably Chloe in their tracks.

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS! JUST TELL ME IF HE'S GETTING WEAKER!" Okay, so maybe they weren't talking about one of her boyfriends.

"Uh... well I was in the gym with him the other day, and even though he wasn't talking to me, I could see the tears in his eyes and stuff when I talked about just, like, normal stuff!" _Wait...the gym?_

"Carry on..."

"And when I held up just, like, the teensiest little weight and I said to him, 'let's see if you can lift a bigger weight than me', he just broke down and cried on the floor." _What? _Up remembered the exact same incident. Chloe hadn't known, but she should have done, about how Taz had trained him just more than a year ago, and yet again, he had let his weak side show instead of what he was really thinking. But more importantly, the person they were talking about was _him._

"Excellent," Up felt his stomach churn when the voice started to laugh, "I think that I've certainly weakened," there was another mocking laugh, "_Commander _Up enough." _Dead God..._ had this all been a plan to make him weak? Peter, Chloe, Taz being threatened with an extended probation if she didn't go on the mission? Who was Chloe talking to and why did he want Up to be like this?

Up's questions were answered as if they'd heard his thoughts.

"But I don't understand." _Understatement of the year for Chloe_,"There's plenty of other Commanders who are pretty close to what Up's personality was like."

"Don't worry about them, Miss Grant," the voice said slyly, "I've seen to it that those certain Commanders will also be...out of work...for a long while." Again Up felt a wave of nausea when he heard sarcasm pepper the voice's tone.

"Oh cool!" However, Chloe didn't sense the voice's hidden meaning, "But wait: what about Lieutenant Taz?" Up's ears pricked up when he heard her name, "As much as I hate her and her sense of style, I don't think she'll take your plans just lying down."

"For the last time, I have it all planned out!" Up was panicking now: what were they going to do to Taz? "We put her on the rescue mission to Bug World with no decent rangers, so when they're attacked, she'll have no chance! The others will die and she'll be left to attempt to fight!" _No way,_ Up thought, _no freakin' way is Taz gonna be put on that mission. I won't let whoever this is take her away again._

"But wait-"

"WHAT IS IT CHLOE?" The voice had the tone Up wanted to have with Chloe whenever he spoke to her.

"Lieutenant Taz is a Lieutenant." There was a pause.

"And?"

"The G.L.E.E rules say that only when the Commander dies is the Lieutenant allowed to be the highest-ranking ranger on a mission, and even then that can only be when the mission's started. So who's going to be the Commander?" The words didn't sound dumb enough to come from Chloe's mouth.

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" This was the only fraction of respect that Up had for whosever the voice was: he spoke to Chloe like he wanted to,

"Commander Up is going too."


	25. Nausea

Too many people. Taz looked down at the open starship dock and saw almost all the rangers at the base gathered together through the glass doors. Something shot through her heart when she remembered the last time she was looking through the glass, though the ship was going in the opposite direction then. She didn't know whether it was nerves or adrenaline... or love, but she knew that only a fraction of the reason for her breathing suddenly becoming rapid and shallow was the crowd that awaited her and the rest of the crew. She'd always dealt with crowds and people asking her questions after a mission; that was always the way with the G.L.E.E. However this time it was so different. Not because Up wasn't with her; she'd dealt with that before, but because of what she was going back to...or rather who she was going back to, especially after what had happened before she'd left.

As the ship pulled into the dock she stepped away from the glass doors and went to look through a smaller window. She knew it looked cowardly, but all those people irritated her. They were annoying and she didn't need them there; she only needed one person at that moment. She shook her head at her stupidity: how could she have possibly assumed that she could just jump straight off the starship and back into Up's arms? In fact...was he even in the crowd? She peeped through the window and tried to search for the one face she wanted to see, but she couldn't spot him. And Up was taller than anyone she'd ever seen, so he would stand out in a crowd. She frowned as the rest of the crew joined her near the doors: where was he?

She soon was forced to shake the thought away though, as the doors were opened by rangers in the base and immediately they were thrust into full-on inquisitions about the mission, made worse by the news of Commander Hibbart's death which they'd reported once they were on their way back. She answered question after question, trying to use the simplest answers possible and wondering, as she always did when they got back from missions, where the respect of these people was.

Yes, Commander Hibbart was dead.  
>No, she hadn't seen who or what killed him.<br>"No I didn't kill him jou pathetic hijo de puta!"  
>Yes, they'd managed to complete all the tasks included within the mission.<br>"All de robotas were destroyed or enslaved in de robot wars jou idiota!"  
>No, her and Commander Hibbart weren't that close.<br>Yes, they'd seen him die.  
>No, she hadn't wanted to take his place.<br>No, she hadn't wanted to go on the mission.  
>No, she wasn't going to tell them why.<p>

That brought her thoughts back to Up, and she managed to push past the ever-closing-in bodies with a few insults and threats with her zapper and her knife. Being at least a head shorter than most people, Taz hated large groups of people, especially when she was in a bad mood. She leant against the corridor wall when she reached it and let her breathing return to normal. As the blood rushed away from her head, her sense rushed back and she realised that she needed to find Up. _Okay, so maybe he saw de crowds and knew dat jou wouldn't be able to...talk in front of everyone. _She thought, trying to get rid of the pathetic feeling that she wouldn't quite admit was disappointment. Taz knew that if she found him, she'd definitely want to do more than talk to him, but she stopped herself from thinking about it as she might give the slightest emotion away to the several gossiping rangers who were walking past her in groups.

Hang on. She looked around and saw that in fact every single ranger that walked past her, be it ensign or lieutenant, gave her a look, and then went to talk to their friends, always looking back at her as they spoke. They may have all had the same actions, but the looks they gave her varied widely: some gave her a smirk, some a concerned frown, some looked like they were trying not to laugh, and she saw one woman she thought she recognised from the rehab clinic give her an almost sympathetic look. Slowly she realised that everyone in the bustling crowd had completely ignored the rest of the crew and were either whispering about her, blatantly pointing at her, or just plain staring at her.

"What?" She shouted in her death glare made audible.

Silence.

Taz wasn't having any of it. She was tired, she was hungry, she didn't have her best friend with her, she didn't want to be here, and dead-god was she in a bad mood. She grabbed the nearest ensign by the collar and shoved him against a wall, making him shiver and gulp loudly.

"Jou!" She shouted in the boy's face, "what is everyone's problem? Cos if I don't hear it right now-"

"Now, now, Lieutenant." A sickeningly patronising voice; the last voice she wanted to hear, spoke the words like he was spitting them out. She turned to the doorway from where the voice had come from slowly, not letting go of the ensign's collar.

Peter.

"There's no need to take it all out on poor Ensign Jameson." He stepped forward, parting the crowd as he walked. Someone had gained popularity.

"Take what out on him, Nurse Peter?" She said, this time dropping Jameson and walking towards him, parting the crowd too. There were a few sniggers from the crowd but Peter silenced them with a pompous look.

"There's nothing wrong with a man being a nurse!" He insisted snootily, "And wouldn't _you_ like to know, Lieutenant Taz?"

"Tell me what de hell is wrong with dis lot or jou'll find my knife in jour back." She saw Peter gulp, but he tried to mask his fear.

"Fine, but I tell you now, you won't be happy," he tilted his head up slightly, waiting, "so that means clear off, you lot!" he gestured to the crowd in a rather pathetic manner, but they still walked away, some grumbling and muttering 'I wanted to see her reaction'. Taz gave everyone that passed her a hard glare but then turned her attention back to Peter.

"Look, Peter, dis had better be serious," she then lowered her voice, ashamed that she had to be this weak-sounding with Peter, "...has anything happened to U- Commander Up?" She was asking a question that showed her feelings, but she wasn't going to let Peter have the satisfaction of seeing her being unprofessional. He raised an eyebrow and gave her a smirk, which she quickly diffused with a glare, and he turned back into a pompous idiota.  
>"Well I don't expect you to care; you've been away for a whole year," she reached for her knife, "but yes, I suppose you could say <em>something<em>," he coughed out a patronising laugh, "has happened to Commander Up."

No.

She shouldn't have left. She should have stayed with him. He'd always said they'd protect each other, and she'd broken that promise. She'd failed him. Again. Up was hurt and yet she was still standing there, frozen with shock. Up was hurt and yet...Peter was standing there with the biggest smug smile she'd ever seen, and it wasn't a good thing. She gathered her senses and went over what Peter had actually said.  
>"...<em>What<em> happened to him?" She asked carefully, frowning at Peter's ever-growing smirk. He stepped towards her and she suddenly felt her size at his next words,  
>"Well, the question <em>really<em> is... _who_, happened to him." _Wh...what?_ She tried not to show the overwhelming feeling of dread which quickly bubbled up in the pit of her stomach, but Peter's smirk got even more unbearable when she didn't speak; he was enjoying this. She tried to swallow the large lump that was rising to her throat as she replied,  
>"What do jou mean?" She sddenly realised how uncomfortably hot it was in the hallway, even without the masses of people.<br>"Oh you should see them! They make the cutest couple: the Commander and the trainer- aww! You know, it's a good thing that you went on that mission actually; if you hadn't left him, then he would never have found her!" Peter knew exactly what he was doing, and finished by looking at Taz sideways with a sly grin on his pathetic mouth. Taz hadn't felt like this in a long time: her neck felt too hot- too itchy, her mouth was dry and something pricked behind her eyes. The feeling in her stomach had turned into repulsion and she suddenly knew that if she didn't lie down very soon she was going to fall down.

She walked past Peter, desperately wanting to punch him right in his upturned nose, but finding that all the energy had been sucked out of her. She made her way down the corridor and headed for the gym: she was going to rip that puta's head off. She picked up her pace, but an image flashed into her head of Up...with another woman, and suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. She missed the turning for the gym and pelted straight for her room. Thankfully the rush of cold air in her room (it hadn't been lived in for a year) calmed her, and she instead collapsed back against her door and sunk to the floor.

It was odd: she'd never felt angrier and more heartbroken at the same time since the last time she thought she'd lost Up. However, she didn't cry, she didn't scream, she didn't break something, she didn't kill someone; she just sat there, thinking;

Brewing.


	26. Frustration

Up looked yet again over the crew list for Starship 15A2, trying to will Taz's name off the page. The rest of the crew he honestly didn't care about; they were ensigns and one private who he recalled was friendly with Lieutenant Sam. But Taz- he couldn't let her go on a mission that was especially planned to put the crew in danger- at least not alone.

He should have told her before now; he wanted to, as soon as he heard that her ship had docked and the crew, par Commander Hibbart (he'd shuddered at the news of the Commander's death, thinking back to the conversation he'd overheard), was safe. But typically, he hadn't been strong enough to tell Chloe that he didn't want to train that day, and she'd practically trapped him in the gym, as she'd done for the past week. He hadn't really got any excuse for why he hadn't tried to find Taz after dinner, other than the fact that, well- he didn't want her to see him like he was now: a washed-out, weak-willed, ghost of the man he was before she left. But now he was walking down the corridor in Starship 15A2: the ship that already had Taz on it. Each step nearer to the deck was a step nearer to his fate; to the 'big reunion' with Taz he never thought he'd dread.

He mentally kicked himself repeatedly for not trying to stop the mission, or at least try to get Taz off it. But how could he have done? It looked like he was the only commander who at least used to have some higher authority, and the ambassadors and head of the Galactic League had been somewhat out of the picture for years. Whoever Chloe had been talking to must have been someone higher up in the G.L.E.E or they wouldn't have been able to plan a mission, so it could have been... No, that would be stupid. And anyway, what could _he_ do about it if he found out who had planned to kill him and Taz?

Nothing- that was the answer, because he couldn't even get his mouth to say what he was thinking. He couldn't just push Chloe aside and demand that he see Taz. He couldn't face that crowd of questioning rangers even though what he was feeling inside was so strong. This new body that a supposed 'Dr Space-Claw' had put him in may have saved his life, but if he couldn't use it to show his emotions; to do what he wanted, then it was of hardly any use at all to him. He doubted that he could even get it to tell Taz why his arms weren't there for her to fall into when she came back.

And it was incredibly frustrating.


	27. Irritation

Taz was going to kill someone in a minute. The crew for this mission that she'd been frankly forced on due to 'lack of staff' was utterly useless, par the just about bearable engineer named Specs, and even now her overly-intelligent technical term-filled voice was getting on Taz's nerves. Never the less, she'd only met Specs and the incredibly irritating Private Krayonder since they'd boarded last night, so maybe the rest of the crew were proper rangers.

_Oh who are jou kidding? De only real rangers on dis ship are jou and Up! _she thought, instantly cursing at herself for the last part. _Jou idiota! Jou promised jourself dat jou weren't going to think about him!_ She sighed, and wondered what it would feel like to talk to him again. They were going to have to talk to each other sometime, and in contrast to her feelings on the ship coming back to the base, she was dreading this reunion. Now she knew about Up and... actually, she didn't know the name of that _puta- _uh, trainer, that Up was...going out with, but that didn't really matter. What was going to be hard was facing Up now she knew why he hadn't been there when she came back, and trying to talk to him formally without yelling at him.

No- she had to be tough. She was tough. She needed to be tough. Lieutenant Taz wasn't one to let her tough son-of-a-bitch reputation falter at a stupid problem like a trainer that she could easily beat to the ground later. She sighed internally again: the trouble was, that Up wasn't just anyone...

"DISTRESS SIGNAL. DISTRESS SIGNAL. STARSHIP RANGERS ASSEMBLE. RESCUE MISSION DROP-DOWN IN THREE MINUTES." The deep, computerised voice sounded throughout the corridors of the ship, and Taz's thoughts of Up were interrupted yet again. _Time to meet de rest of de crew _she thought sarcastically. It was inevitable that this mission was going to be not only awkward, but boring and irritating as well. They just had to go onto this planet called 'Bug World', and rescue some dumb ranger called February who'd got themselves somehow stuck there (only the Commander and Lieutenant had a briefing prior to the mission, so the computer voice was mainly speaking to the rest of the crew). What the hell kind of name was February anyway? Ugh, why had she been assigned to such an estupida mission?

She reached the sliding door to the hall before anyone else, and rammed her hand down on the button to open it, probably breaking it in the process, and held her zapper up, already ready for the mission.

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE!" She yelled, calling the rest of the lazy crew who she was irritated with for not being ready yet, "JOU HEARD IT: DIS IS A RESCUE MISSION!" She decided to take over part of the brief as even Up was nowhere to be seen, "GET JOUR ZAPPERS- SET DEM TO 'PEW'!" She fired a few shots to the end of the hallway, partly to hurry the rest of the crew up, and they made their signature 'pew' sound as the green laser shot out of her zapper (they had to use 'pew' whenever they were on a mission where they didn't know anything about the life on the planet, to her annoyance).

"Woah, Taz!" It was that idiota, Krayonder, who'd finally run up behind her, "you're pretty tough for a chick!" _Sexist hijo de puta_,

"I was just going to say de same thing about jou," she replied coolly, ignoring Krayonder's immature 'woooooah!' and walking to the side, adjusting her zapper's strap over her shoulder as she went.

"SPECS!" She called, and the frizzy-haired, bespectacled engineer rushed in behind her.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Dead-god that voice was annoying.

"Scan de surface of dis planet; I want to know what's going on down there." Fine, if Up wasn't here yet, then she was taking over the brief.

"I'll try Lieutenant, but gamma storms are interfering with my equipment. My spectrometer readings are off the wazoo!" She replied, not making any sense at all to Taz in her nasal voice. She ignored her even though she'd asked her the question and finished pulling on her black gloves.

"DROP-DOWN IN TWO MINUTES, THIRTY SECONDS." The computer spoke again. Where was Up? She looked up at the sound and went to walk down to the deck with the others, but was stopped by something making a loud 'wooooooo!' sound.

"Oh, 'scuse me, little girl!" _Little girl? Don't little girl me, jou hijo de- okay, Taz, concentrate on de mission, it's probably just some trainee come to sit in the ship and see what happens on a mission, _"I'm new, and I was just wonderin'," the trainee had a hillbilly-like accent, "what's this?" the young, brown-haired trainee was gesturing to... no way- HIS ZAPPER? Did he know nothing? She threw her arms out obviously, "Ugh, it's jour zapper!"

"What's that?" Oh come on, this had got to be a joke. It was rather irritating though, so Taz didn't worry about making her reply sound even more obvious.

"Ugh, it's a gun, stupid- jou shoot stuff with it!" She had to get this annoyingly dumb boy off her back, but he was following her.

"Oh, that's not what I was using it for- Sorry!" Dear dead-god, he was even holding it the wrong was round, "You see where I come from..." Mierda, was she going to hear this boy's whole life history? Taz decided to try and block him out as they walked down to the deck, but with the added stress she couldn't quite shake the buzzing sound of him speaking.

"Hey! Jou better get outta my face, ese; I'm prepping for a rescue mission." She'd adjusted her gloves, bandana and zapper, and was now stretching lightly as she walked. He pulled her back by her arm and she briefly considered punching him in the face for touching her before he started talking. Again.

"I know, I know! I'm assigned to the rescue mission too!" Oh dead-god, not this idiot. What was his name anyway? Probably something equally stu-

"Hey! My name is Tootsie Noodles." There it is. She looked at him with disgust and said slowly,

"What de hell kinda name is that?" He went on again about his home planet and his name, irritating her further despite her glaring at him.

"¡CÁLLATE!" She yelled at him, immediately shutting him up, "What am I going to do with jou- jou know nothing!"

They reached the deck and she strode off to stand in front of Specs and Krayonder, who were already lined up.

"So, this is de rescue squad, eh?" They nodded enthusiastically. _Naive_. "Ay, look at jou! None of jou have what it takes, to serve under Commander Up." _Damn it, Taz! First jou let jourself think about him, and now jou're bigging him up or something! Jou're meant to be mad at him!_

The mention of Up's name sent a gasp through the rest of the small crew, who hadn't been told who their Commander was yet, and she couldn't help a small smug smile as she walked away from the group; Up was still a legend.

One comment amongst the respectful yet slightly over-exaggerated praise for Up stood out though, and surprise-surprise, it came from Krayonder.

"Yeah, well I heard he went soft." _WHAT? That's it, that hijo de puta's gonna die!_ She thought. No one, no matter what he'd done, called Commander Up _soft. _Taz spun around and walked forward, her death-glare on full as Krayonder told further lies about Up.

"Yeah, he used to be all that and a bag of flave-o-fives, but now, he's like a total wimp," _I'm gonna stab him, "_Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria just _crying _in front of everybody."

"HEY!" They were meant to be being quiet but she didn't care. "Jou got something to say about de Commander?" she pointed at him as she walked towards him, and Krayonder's face turned pale.

"Uh...no! No- oh! I forgot, you guys fought in the robot wars together!" _Over-confident git. She needed a put down._

"Yeah, Krayon-_der_!" She didn't need to say his name differently, but Up had told her that it intimidated people, "Where he saved my life a hundred times!"

"Well yeah! He was, like, a super-soldier." _That's it, he's gonna get it. _She punched her other gloved hand as she stepped towards him.

"What do jou mean, '_was_'?" The idiota seemed to blabber on when he was nervous.

"Uh, nothin' man, I just heard about his injury!" _That firetrucking estupida molesto idiota! _When Krayonder caught sight of her death-glare he gasped, but continued to waffle on, "I mean, his famous injury, that everyone knows about! You know the one the robots gave to him." _Don't make it sound like it was a gift, jou tonto idiota! How dare jou even speak about it! Jou don't know anything about what happened! _Still she said nothing; she just shook her head and shot virtual dagger after virtual dagger at the inexperienced private,

"Ah, man, those robots must've really messed him up 'cos, I just, like, heard this rumour going around that... he might've maybe gone a...little...bit...soft." Taz was so infuriated that she was sure her face was beginning to distort with her the anger behind her eyes. Still, she decided to lead Krayonder into a false sense of security.

"Put jour hand on that wall," she said as calmly as she could in the circumstances, pointing at the far wall on the deck.

"What? Why?" Now he was worried; the usually yelling and angry Lieutenant had suddenly gone unnervingly calm and collected.

"Put jour hand... ON THAT WALL!" Okay, so she'd done her best not to yell at him until now. Krayonder gingerly edged over to the wall and placed his left hand on it. She took out her knife and started to aim it at his hand, not doubting that she'd miss at all.

"Wait! Please don't throw a knife in my hand! Aw, quit messin' around, man, that's not funny!" Bingo- scared him to a wreck.

"Oh, oh _don't _throw a knife in jour hand?" She was almost enjoying this.

"Yeah, don't!"

Taz paused before tucking the knife back into her belt, "Okay." Krayonder made a sigh of relief, and they both walked back to the line; another false sense of security trick.

"YAA!" Taz shouted, and before Krayonder knew it Taz had pulled her knife out of her belt faster than lightning and he had it in his back. Taz knew exactly the right spot which didn't actually harm his body; it just hurt him like hell. She held him there with her knife and pointed at him while he groaned. _Pathetic._

"Now jou listen to me now, jou little fart! Up is the toughest son of a bitch I've ever met in my life-"

"You stabbed me!" Ugh, would he ever stop moaning?

"He eats eagles for breakfast!" It wasn't a lie- Up had tried eagle on a mission they'd gone on where the natives of a planet offered them the only food they could find.

"He sleeps, on a bed of fire." They'd woken up one morning and the enemies had found their hideout; Up's room had been set on fire.

"And when Up cuts an onion, the _onion_ is the one who cry!" A joke Up had told her when she'd first joined the G.L.E.E.

Hang on- why was she defending him? He'd...he'd...he was...going out...with his trainer, when he'd kissed her! Yeah, she wasn't going to let that get in the way of the mission, but she shouldn't be defending him still! Ugh, maybe it was just that... she had to admit to herself that, well, she still cared about him. She was still his Lieutenant and he was still her Commander. At least she hoped so.

She suddenly picked up something being pathetic on her radar. Oh yeah- it was Krayonder. His feeble cries of 'I'm dying' brought her back to the irritating reality of the ship.

"So jou'd. Better. Un-fffudge jourself," she was going to say something else but she tended to only swear in Spanish, "or Up, will," she mentally kicked herself for using yet another memory, "unscrew jour head," she was acting out her words to Krayonder's horror, "and drop, the wishing pennies, down... jour throat," Krayonder gulped and she would've smirked had he not been insulting Up, "Now take a walk off my knife." She said, and the private obeyed, groaning and limping back to the line, with constant whimpers of 'oww'. Ugh, just pathetic.

"Oh, oh does that hurt jou, oh- WALK IT OFF!" She stabbed herself (not so her knife broke the skin, mind) several times on her stomach and threw her arms up in annoyance. The rest of the crew stared at her with open mouths, but she didn't care.

"COMMANDER ON DECK. DROP-DOWN IN TWO MINUTES." They all looked up at the sound of the computer voice, and Taz found herself yet again exaggerating Up's reputation.

"Yeah, fall in," she said as the other 'rangers' formed back into a line, "and jou better hope that Up likes jour stupid faces, or he might just rip dem off." That one was an exaggeration, though she'd heard Up threaten someone with it before. It seemed to work though; as she fell back into the line their faces were a picture. She heard the doors slide open behind her and her heart suddenly sped up and her stomach felt empty, her irritation gone,

For now.


	28. Worry

Taz felt herself almost shudder as she heard his all too familiar footsteps slowly coming closer, almost deliberately going too slow to extend the tension. She didn't look at him until he came round the front of the line, looking each ranger up and down like he always did on a mission. _Well at least I can still respect him as a commander_ she thought, concentrating hard on keeping her glare with her head held up high.

"Alright boys and girls," _¿Que? 'Boys and girls'? Up always said 'rangers'. Well, jou've been away for a long time...and jou know he's...changed. _Taz was finding it difficult to keep her glare, so she held her chin up higher. "I'm Commander Up." Dead-god she'd missed his voice, "now I'm sure you've all heard... some no-good, nasty, down-right mean-spirited rumours about me floating around the ship." Taz's heart leapt at what he'd just said as Up poked Krayonder. _Rumours? Then maybe... maybe de thing with his trainer...maybe it-it's not true!_ "And I bet you're all wondering to yourselves 'are they true?'" _Of course, Up! Just please say they're not, dead-god, please. _"Well? Go on! Ask me! Ask me right to my mug!" Taz wasn't sure Krayonder was going to ask Up if he had a...girlfriend, or not. It seemed a strange thing to be discussing with a private. "That's right: you're afraid to ask me, because one look, at this," Up touched his face with his fingertips, "and that's all you need to know that there 'aint a lick of truth to 'em!" Taz just about caught herself before she breathed a very loud sigh of relief, but her joy was quickly trampled on as Up continued, "I DO NOT PEE-PEE SITTING DOWN!" _HUH? _In fact, that was more of a thought; Taz couldn't help the remark of confusion at Up's comment as her head turned sharply to look at him. "I never did it! And the one time that maybe you heard about, it was because the gravity was on too high!"He was poking Krayonder in the chest again, and this time it didn't look as tough. "Alright so you try to pee-pee standing up when the gravity is on three times too high! Alright? I don't pee-pee sitting down!" His voice had turned into a whining, upset child's voice, "I pee-pee like a big boy, dead-god damn it!" This had got to be some kind of joke, and at the moment, Taz really wasn't in the mood for some weird scenario where Up was weak. "I pee-pee like a big boy, so stop making fun of me, 'cause it hurts my feelings." Taz just stood there and looked at Up with an open mouth, her narrowed eyes not showing what she was thinking. She felt sick as Up began to cry and sniff like a little girl. Instead of asking him softly and worriedly what was wrong, the computer interrupted her as she began to speak, telling them that they had one minute left until drop-down, and her thoughts came out as anger again.

"Damn," she whispered, and (bravely for her in this state) took Up's arm and pulled him towards her, "Up, what are jou doing, man!" Her stomach dropped as Up's eyes met hers for the first time in over a year, but his eyes were different- filled or emptied of something she couldn't place.

"Oh, Taz- you believe me- I pee-pee like a big boy!"

"No, shut up!" _Up what have they done to jou? _She desperately wanted to pull him into her arms as she grabbed both of his, but then she remembered Peter's words again, and she glared at him.

"Jou're supposed to give them some speech to scare and inspire them!" Up's face went blank, his eyes still filled with fresh tears. "Remember, like in the old days? Like: 'if jou don't go out there and die for something, then I will kill jou for nothing'. Remember? Like... tough!" She desperately flung her arms out as she talked to him. Up nodded and mumbled something like, 'yeah, yeah...damn it' as he put his head in his hands.

"Right." Okay, he'd just had a bit of a 'moment', as the rehab doctors had described that he might have. Up walked back to the line, "Everybody? ...I goofed up." Not really Up's style of talking, but he'd obviously changed, so... "If you give me some of your patience, I'd like to try again. Give me one moment to regain my confidence, and I'll give you a speech that's scarier, than an apple... in your candy basket on Halloween!" _What happened to jou Up? _As he looked back at her she could hardly see a glimmer of his former self, and she threw one hand up in resignation. She couldn't look at him, not when he was like this and Peter's words echoed around her head like poison.

She barely registered him walking forward and pulling out a small black compact mirror from his pocket. He only really got her attention when he said the words 'rehabilitation centre'. His next words filled her head with further worry and she felt her stomach twist at how different he was.

"You are a worthwhile person. When I look into your eyes in the mirror, I get a pleasant feeling. You're not a failure- _overall_. You can laugh at yourself." Up started to laugh and when he turned round to look at her again all she could do was hold one hand up as she saw her memory of the man she loved crumble as he continued to speak. Suddenly Up caught sight of himself in the mirror laughing, and started to shout at his own reflection.

"What are you looking at you overall failure? Why, when I look into your eyes I get an unpleasant feeling! Ooh, take this!" He pathetically poked at the image of himself and winced away, holding his hand up and limping over to Taz.

"Taz... is it bleeding?" She was so worried about him, and she wanted to grab his shoulders and ask what the hell had happened when she was away, but the bitterness from her thoughts about him and his trainer still lingered, and she was rude to him again.

"Jou didn't even break de glass!" She struggled to keep glaring and feared that the horror of seeing someone she respected so crushed and broken, and the worry about what had changed him when she'd left, threatening to break through to her eyes was about to show.

"Figures, couldn't even break the glass." Up sobbed, his voice thick with tears. Her stomach still flipped when he leant his arm on her shoulder and rested his head on it, even though he was crying like a child.

"DROP-DOWN IN FIVE SECONDS."

Again she was interrupted and all she could choke out as the crew went to enter the drop-pod was,

"Just get it together, okay?" She shoved Up's arm off her shoulder and took a deep breath.

How was she going to be able to concentrate on this mission when she was this worried?


	29. Annoyance

What the hell was all that crap that just came out of his mouth? Up felt like clawing at the right side of his body as he thought over what had just happened. Taz and he had seen each other for the first time in a year and he hadn't even so much as hugged her. Up was growing more annoyed by the second, but yet again, his body didn't let him show it. Instead he was trapped in a weak, crying, sniffling, pathetic ghost of the man that Taz had once looked up to.

_Taz_

Up was devastated at the disgusted looks she gave him as the useless words came out of his mouth. He'd wanted it to be just like the old days: terrifying the rangers into fighting well with Taz by his side, throwing death-glares at every single one of them. But on this mission it had been him Taz's glares had been directed at, and she had good reason to glare at him too. She left him as the war hero who was making the best recovery anyone with his type of near-death injury could make; the one who she'd told she loved him; the one who'd strode across the room and kissed her with no fear at all; the one who'd been strong enough to put her on a mission without him because she would've gone mad if she hadn't. But now Up doubted that Taz could even recognise him. 

They'd just been about to head down to the drop-pod when Junior had walked in and introduced himself. Up had been briefly introduced to him as part of the commander's preparation for the mission, which there actually seemed to be less of this time. Apparently he was the G.L.E.E head's son, and had been sent as the Galactic League ambassador on the ship. Up had always thought that the head of the Galactic League was non-existent; they hadn't heard of him for years and whenever ambassadors gave orders from higher authority, they always referred to it as 'the Galactic League' as if they'd been involved in it personally. But anyway, Junior had warbled on about Galactic League standards and how he'd hand-picked each and every one of them, and Up had only really paid attention when Junior had put his arm around Taz. Inside his blood boiled but on the outside he was smiling at the boy.

"...most advanced piece of technology that the Galactic League has to offer." _So it was a new kind of weapon?_ Up hadn't heard of this before, but he thought Taz might be interested in it. He turned around looking for a smile, or a smirk at least, but all Taz's face showed was the same hard glare she gave everything else.

"Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team..." _Technology? A ranger? What?_

"Megagirl!"

_No._

_NO! _

_What de hell was dat bastardo Junior thinking? _New technology? A crew member? That only meant one thing.

"Please state a command for me to service you." Came the monotone, computer-generated voice she'd been praying to dead-god not to hear. She immediately raised her zapper as the polished white chrome figure that was meant to somewhat resemble a human woman 'walked' forward with mathematically calculated steps. _If dat puta comes anywhere near Up, I swear..._

"It's a- it's a... A ROBOT!" She would've felt embarrassed to have Up scream like a girl and hide from an enemy, but the damn robota made her blood boil so much that it blocked out all other emotions.

Up felt a cold shiver of dark memories flood through his blood that he thought even his old self would've struggled to bear. He was suddenly so overcome with fear that he just grabbed Taz and attempted to hide behind her. Up wondered what Taz must think of him now; he was whimpering and being a coward while she aimed her zapper at the Megagirl unit, but was distracted by just how close she was. Before Up knew what he was doing, he put his hands on her waist and just kissed her there on her back.

Did she even notice?  
>-"Are jou loco, ese? What were jou thinking bringing a robot on board?" She glared at Junior as he strode around Megagirl with arrogant ease, but kept her zapper pointed at the Megagirl unit. Suddenly she felt Up's hands on her waist and a warm feeling in her stomach as Up...wait, did he just kiss her back? Well, maybe not <em>all <em>other emotions. _Okay Taz, relax- he just kissed jour back. HE JUST KISSED JOUR BACK! Okay, ¡CÁLLATE! _

"Now, I know the robot wars have left us all a little bit touchy, okay?" Junior was just an estupida kid, he didn't understand the robot wars one bit, "But I believe that considering the billions of people that _died_ to regain control of the robots-" _Yeah, and Up was almost one of them jou idiota! "_well it's an insult to their memory not to use them as our unwilling slaves."

"Robots can't be trusted man! Do jou know what de first thing a robot ever did? Kill its creator," _Up's hands are on jour waist... _"and then he made more evil robots!"

"All hail Astroboy!" The Megagirl unit raised her fist. The robots definitely couldn't be trusted. Both her and Up leant back in apprehension; they'd heard that chant too many times. She saw hundreds of Autobots marching towards her and Up on Qu'Onos, before she caught what Junior was saying.

"Megagirl, can you kill humans?"

"No," came the emotionless reply, "but I'd like to." _I'll kill jou first jou hijo de puta robota. _She cried out in disgust and UP gripped her shoulders.

"See, nothing to worry about!" Junior exclaimed. He knew nothing about the robots; of course there was something to worry about: that there was a dead-god damn robota on the ship. "Unlike the robots we fought in the war, Megagirl comes equipped with an _inhibitor chip_!" _We? Jou were probably being spoilt by jour rich father jou hijo de- _"Her behavioural programs make it physically impossible for her to harm or kill humans." Physically impossible- _Pah! _Up had taught her years ago that he'd smashed what the G.L.E.E called 'physically impossible' to pieces many times. Mierda- she shouldn't have been thinking of Up, even though he was incredibly close to her. She had to get away from him before she embarrassed herself. Taaz shook Up's hands off her shoulders and walked towards Junior, her glare never leaving her face.

"Jou know- in my life, I've done some things I said I'd never do," _like leaving Up, like letting herself love him, like crying..._ "But one thing I said I'd NEVER do... is work... WITH A ROBOT!" She pointed violently at the Megagirl unit, but its face remained neutral. However Taz knew that deep in the circuitry of that robota there was still the pure evil that her and... uh, the G.L.E.E had fought in the robot wars.

"Never... they killed billions. They ruled Earth with a fist made of iron, for a hundred years," it was true- there had been random robot attacks many years before the humans had decided to go to war with them, "And then Up..." She gestured over to the man she thought had loved her, who was beginning to whimper in the corner. Her mind screamed _pathetic_, but her heartstrings pulled painfully at the sight of him in pain from the memories.

"Oh... oh no I completely forgot!" _Yeah firetrucking right jou forgot_. "Commander Up- his famous injury. It was because of a robot wasn't it." Junior seemed to be explaining this to the Megagirl unit for some reason. It knew perfectly well about... uh, the injuries the robots gave. "Well I- uh, colour me embarrassed but-"

"Junior," Taz interrupted him, "jou can pack her up, 'cause she's not a part of this rescue mission."

The estupida molesto Megagirl unit was going on the mission. _Why?_ Because the inexperienced kid Junior was a higher-ranking ranger. Taz was fuming. She'd even had a death-glare stand-off with the Megagirl unit, which was actually Taz giving the robota a death-glare and it staring back blankly. How dare Junior allow the very thing which almost took Up away from her? And on his first mission since Qu'Onos! _Damn it_- Taz was thinking about him again. She just...she couldn't stop caring about him, even if...even if he didn't care about her anymore. She shook the thought which would've turned a chica pequeña to tears. Where was Up anyway? She looked back from the rest of the crew who were heading down to the drop-pod, and her eyes finally rested on him.

And he was heading in the other direction.


	30. Torture

Up would say that the mission was going...slightly better. Well, at least he'd talked to Taz properly, and she'd cheered him up in her own way.

"It's been two years since jour injury, and it's time to move on!" She spoke more softly to him than earlier, despite the fact that she punched him on the shoulder. It may have hurt but her touch still sent a shiver down his spine, which he did well to hide.

"Jou taught me something once: that no matter how hard jou get knocked down, jou've always got to get back up." Up felt his heart leap; Taz had actually remembered that. "Well now it's jour turn! Get back up!" After Taz's pep-talk, he'd felt much more at ease around the crew. Up loved how she could warm his heart with the simplest things. Taz wasn't one to make a song and dance about things.

However, he could see Taz's growing irritation with him. The amount of times she'd rolled her eyes at something he said made him feel even smaller even though she probably didn't realise it. But perhaps she wasn't as irritated with him as she was with the Megagirl unit. Up was glad that at least Taz thought he was better than a robot. The truth was that Up was terrified of the new robot in their crew, and he'd been trying to stop Taz from angering it, but it just wasn't working with his new self.

"De only thing that needs to rest are jour jokes, because they are so tired." _Taz, stop it! You can't trust a robot, remember? She could start firing at us...more importantly, at you, any second!_

"For maximum efficiency just use your thermo-vision to scan for signs of life... Oh wait- I have mistaken your futility for _my_ utility." _Don't react, Taz- that's just what it wants! _Taz took two large and heavy strides over to the Megagirl unit and pointed her finger at it. _Here we go..._

"One more comment like that- and I'm going to wrap jou up in a tortilla, and then I will eat jou- AS A SNACK- maybe with some pico de gallo." She didn't need to shout; her voice had enough power in it that if she'd been talking to a human, they'd be cowering in fear now. However the Megagirl unit just seemed to keep coming back with responses- a _perfect _match for Taz.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Look at me. Look at me." The robot mimed what was meant to be eating. "I am a puny human. I must replenish my energy by using inefficient chemical processes. Now I am _slightly _less _weak._" Up had to admit it: the robot was annoying, and he didn't like it one bit that it was insulting Taz. However, Taz seemed to be at boiling point.

"Ok...I'M GOING TO SHOOT THIS METAL BITCH!" She's already left Up's side and was aiming he zapper at the Megagirl unit, having swung the strap off her shoulder like she always did when she was planning to shoot the hell out of something. Up leapt to put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to stop her, and surprisingly he felt her relax immediately, but the death-glare didn't leave her face.

Up had foolishly tried to hold her hand as they split up to look for February, but she snatched it away. Up desperately wanted to tell her what had happened when she was away; how he never wanted to let her go again; why he was now just a wimp, but, of course, his old self wasn't strong enough.

It was utter torture.

Taz didn't know why her mouth wasn't paying any attention to her head and her heart. She desperately wanted to talk to Up properly and ask him what the hell those idiotas back at the G.L.E.E base had done to him, but instead the emotion that her conversation with Peter had left her with was overthrowing any concern she had for Up on the outside at the moment. She sat alone in the her room trying to work out, and thought about how mean she'd been to him since the start of the mission.

She was hot, tired, and extremely pissed off. That hijo de puta robota had left them behind- surprise, surprise, after Up had been so weak as to try and 'save' the Megagirl unit from the bugs. Yeah, that was another thing: the planet they'd landed on was teeming with giant insects. Well, she had expected normal-sized bugs on a planet named 'Bug World', but nothing like this. Taz hated bugs- they were irritating and little, and they just wouldn't go away. The crew weren't much better: Krayonder was now spouting a load of mierda which contained countless 'man's in it, but was otherwise inaudible drivel. Eventually Specs told him to shut the hell up, and Tootsie threw in the option of killing him, which wasn't so unappealing to Taz at this moment.

"Wowowoah everybody, just calm down!" Up's voice was as panicked as the rest of them. Taz let her hands drop to her knees and she bent over trying to calm down. It was weird- even though Up was weak and growing more unlike the man she loved by the second, there was still something about him that was her commanding officer as he talked to them.

"...but if we express ourselves through 'I feel' statements-" _maybe not._ Taz let out a cry that was a mixture of irritation, anger, worry and disappointment, and Up came to a stop.

"Do jou want to know how I feel?" _I don't know what I feel anymore- how could jou betray me like that? I know...I know it was only a kiss, but...I thought we were friends, Up. _

"Of course I do, Taz." _Really?_

"I feel, like... cutting open jour belly, and filling it with jelly!" _What de hell was that?_ It seemed to gain a gasp from the other rangers, so her tone must've been right. She also saw the hurt in Up's eyes as he awkwardly put his arm around her. _Ugh, he's so weak! So pathetic now, so...what was the word?_

"Taz is something bothering you?" Up whispered to her, so close it was almost criminal not to close the distance between them. _Ugh, why are jou thinking this? He'd gone off with his trainer now! He doesn't want jou!_

She punched Up square in the face with all the force she could gather in her right arm. _Did jou just punch Up? What de hell was that? Jour should've punched him harder! No jou idiota! Now he's going to hate jou! He's never going to know that jou...still, jou know... no! He betrayed jou and now he's...changed, and-_

"...that hurt!" Up's voice was barely a fraction of what it used to be and it even made Taz feel a sharp feeling behind her eyes when she saw the clear confusion and hurt in his. However her mouth bombarded any kindness her heart may have planned to show.

"I know it hurt! It hurt, because jou are soft now!" Soft. Of course- it was the perfect word. Never in his life had Up been called _soft_, and Taz could see the torture in his ocean blue eyes that it gave him when he was called that; especially when _she_ called him that. He didn't understand- she couldn't say what she wanted to; it was torturing her too. "Jou are so soft, jou couldn't even handle leaving a ROBOT behind!" _Lo siento, lo siento, lo siento Up. _She saw the growing pain on his face as she screamed at him and it was like a zapper had shot through her heart. Still her mouth decided to continue, forever getting resources from the bank of poison in her mind that was what Peter had said, and the fresh images of Up and someone else. "And now _we_," she stood in front of the rest of the crew, "are all dead!" She gave him the most sarcastic salute in the world and her eyes were burning into him with what probably showed as pure hatred from the outside. The reply that came was so frail and so unlike Up that she wouldn't have known it was him if he wasn't standing in front of her with tears building in his eyes, making them reflect the dim light on the planet. Taz watched, tortured with the slow process of the man she loved crumbling.

"Taz...please, stop. Now my feelings are hurt too." The tears were going to appear soon and the only way she could help it was to deepen her death-glare at Up.

"Jou want me to stop?" He nodded, "Hit me back." She was using techniques that Up used when he was teaching her how to spar. She smacked Up across the face again and he fell to the floor. She was furious at herself. "HIT-ME-BACK!"

_Taz I can't hit you now! You don't know how long I've waited to see you again. I can't hit you!_ Up tried to clear his head but the fundamental thought was still there: _She thinks I'm soft._ So now all he could manage were the tears which were threatening to break from the rims of his eyes any second now.

"Jou are a sad, spayed, little puppy." Up could feel the first tears beginning to fall at her words. "And de old Up- the Up that made me what I AM! He would have never let this happen!" _I know, and I'm so sorry Taz. I'm not the old Up without you, and I was stupid to put you on that mission. _"And now I see...I see that Up- he did die in that robot war," Taz stood over him and put her hand lightly on his right cheek, and Up's heart immediately started racing, despite how torturous her words were.

"And I will never get him back."


	31. Agony

They were back on the ship. They'd met a ranger from the starship that crashed on the planet eighteen years ago. He must've been on the planet all his life as his name was even Bug. He'd helped them to find the drop-pod that February had come down in, however when they talked to Junior (he hadn't had the guts to go onto the planet with them- surprise, surprise- so he hadn't been left behind), he said that they couldn't go back yet because the warp crystals were missing in the ship. There was something about his story that Up thought didn't quite add up, but he had other things on his mind. For one thing, Taz's words from back on Bug World were haunting his every thought. She was right to be mad at him but he couldn't shake the one conclusion that he gathered from that sentence: that Taz didn't love him anymore.

He'd tried to mask it- he'd even tried to talk to her dead-god damn it, but his thought was confirmed even more thoroughly. Why in the Universe did he think that Taz would want to watch a movie with him now? Even if it was the Karate Kid... Taz had shrugged his friendly words away and walked off, saying:

"No...NO! I'm going to go work out, jou know- in case any other _killer robots_ try to kill us, and _I'm _the only one who can kill them."

So now he was trying to concentrate on looking after the rest of the crew. He'd sent everyone off for a bubble bath, which seemed stupid to Taz, but it was actually a technique to let the crew concentrate on the mission. Even though they'd completed it successfully, he didn't want a restless and agitated crew armed with zappers as they figured out how to find some more warp crystals. He'd just talked to Specs and found out that her outburst earlier when she yelled at Krayonder _was _due to tiredness, and he'd managed to get her to sleep. He was just watching Krayonder carry the sleeping engineer off to her room with a rather smug look on his face, when he heard Bug at his office door.

"Uh, hello sir." He looked around to find the newest member of the crew looking nervous to talk to him. It seemed like he was the only one who was now.

"Why, if it isn't Bug, my oldest friend!" Now he was the one who was nervous talking to people- he'd met Bug a few hours ago- why was he calling him his oldest friend? Now he was going to lose the respect of the one person who still respected him. The way his new mind was treating him was agonising.

"Well, Bug... I'm not the same as I used to be." _What was that?_ Taz heard Up's voice coming from his office as she was walking back to her room and froze. He was talking to Bug about...about...

"...I'm..._soft_." she heard his voice get thicker as he said the word and felt a stab of guilt in her heart. She pressed herself against the wall next to Up's open office door and craned her neck to listen. "Ever since my injury..." he continued.

"Well what happened, Up?" she heard Bug ask him. Surely he wasn't going to tell him- he'd never told anyone. _Ever._

"Uh, I don't usually talk about it, I-"

"Well you're not usually on top of a lap, are you?" _¿Qu__é? _Taz shook off her curiosity and continued to listen.

"It was the final battle," _No. _He was actually going to do it. Up hadn't told anyone about what had happened that day and now he was going to tell someone he hadn't known for more than three hours? Taz leant back against the wall and slid down so she was sitting, a lump already gathering in her throat as she hugged her knees to her chest, and she was thrown into a flashback as she heard Up's next words.

"of the robot war,"

It didn't feel like the end. There was a jubilant atmosphere on the ship- premature in Taz's opinion. Two and a half gruelling years of war meant that it was all she was used to and the thought of there being no more war, no more robots...well it was unfathomable. Up had given the brief to the rest of the crew just moments ago encouragingly, but as she looked at him sitting next to her she saw doubt in his eyes. Taz felt the same doubt as she saw his expression and thought about their situation: they had one of the only ships left in the G.L.E.E, and it wasn't exactly in good condition; they'd both seen so many die, and she knew the images of Up's commander for four years, Commander Jackson, being brutally murdered by Autobots still haunted his thoughts as much, if not more, as it did hers, and now they were heading off to Qu'Onos where there were more robots than anywhere else, with the bare bones of a crew. She warily adjusted her new lieutenants' armband and she saw Up shift uncomfortably in his 'new' commanders' uniform. Taz knew the G.L.E.E was in desperate times, but did they really have to make him wear one of Commander Jackson's old uniforms? She reached out and took Up's hand and he looked up at her; she could see the pressure of leading a crew already making his blue eyes swirl with a tempest. She gave him a determined nod and squeezed his hand, and he gave her a brief yet genuine smile before hardening his expression and nodding back, the storm in his eyes calmed.

The autopilot voice told them they'd landed and Taz leapt up at the same time as Up. He marched to face the scarce crew of assorted ensigns and privates and reminded them of the brief: most of the crew would go and distract the robots from where they were repairing the Metal Gear tank that one Galactic League squad had managed to destroy a week ago, before every member was killed. According to the computer system there weren't many robots left, so that was the easy part. What Up, her and a few privates were going to do was try to get inside the Metal Gear tank and find what would surely destroy the robots' power and make the war theirs: the final deposit of Fazon. Up had been the one who'd actually found out its general location- something the G.L.E.E had almost given up on, but they only knew it was in the Metal Gear tank. Now the Metal Gear tank was an enormous walking tank, armed with weapons of nuclear proportions and steel armour that could crush a man's skull if he fell on it from more than two metres above. They didn't know how much damage had been done to it but they did know that this definitely wasn't going to be the easy part.

Up turned to face the glass doors and Taz stepped up beside him and let her hand brush against his (she didn't want to hold his hand with the whole crew watching- there were enough rumours about them already). He turned to her and for a moment she thought he looked as if he was about to say something, but the doors slid open before she could find out.

As soon as they stepped onto the harsh rocky terrain the robots started to march towards them from on top of the mountain top not ten metres away from them.

"They must have come from de Metal Gear tank!" She shouted at Up (the air was crowded with the sound of metal screeching and scraping the rock). He nodded and yelled at the ensigns assigned to distracting the robots.

"GO!" They ran forward and started firing. Then Taz didn't know what happened but suddenly there were more lines of robots marching towards them and there were already three ensigns dead. Her eyes didn't even get a chance to widen before the zapper fire reached her, one shot narrowly missing her neck. She yelled and ran forward into the fight, shooting two robots down immediately. She ignored Up's calls for her to follow the plan and soon he was beside her. Looking at him distracted her for two stupid seconds and another shot blasted past her, singing the end of her hair. She threw herself back into shooting and got one robot in the chest before spinning around and giving another two in the head. She almost dropped her zapper and didn't have time to pull the trigger so she kicked the next in the leg. A searing pain instantly shot through to her knee but she ignored it, diving to the ground to pick up her zapper and shooting two more robots as she rolled to the side. The robots no longer surrounded her but there were more obstacles for her to manoeuvre across; dead bodies, blood and wiring littered the rock almost so she couldn't see the ground.

This panicked her. There were so many dead, and she couldn't see Up. Her heart began to beat even faster and she had only instincts to rely on when a robot took a swipe at her with its thick steel arm, ducking just in time and shooting at it from below. She quickly rolled to one side before the robot crashed to the ground and she stood up, looking around desperately for Up.

And there he was. Three robots simultaneously fell to the ground and he stepped over their remains, still gripping the ripped-out arm of one of them which had broken wires sticking out of it, spitting out sparks. He threw it to the ground in disgust and looked up, catching sight of her. Taz ran to meet him in the middle of the smoking, repulsive pile of human bodies and robot parts, and he wrapped his arms around her.

"You should've stuck to the plan." He muttered when they broke apart. Taz could already see the mounting debt of rangers' lives show in his eyes.

"And watch them die from afar? No. Plus they were already firing at us Up." She wasn't angry, but she knew that she was right, and so did Up. He nodded, taking in her explanation, then looked back up at her with determination burning in his eyes.

"You're right. Now let's go and get that Fazon." He started jogging and she followed him over the mountain the robots had come from.

They were obviously saving the bigger robots for Metal Gear.

When they reached the top of the mountain the Autobots and Transformers were in full view. There were hundreds upon hundreds of them, each with their lasers pointed at them. There was a moment of pure stillness where Taz seemed unable to breathe.

And then the fight began.

The air was aflame with the glowing red lasers shooting mostly down at them. Taz didn't know which way she was going, how many robots there were or how many times a laser had burnt her skin; all she knew was that Up's back was pressed against hers. She felt him ducking and her instinct told her to do so too, and a huge streak of neon ruby shot over her head, making a crater beside the mountain behind them. For some reason this momentarily distracted the robots circling them and the lieutenant and commander used this to their advantage. Taz shot down two whole rows of robots without even letting go of the trigger, and behind her the sound of metal crashing to the ground was deafening. The robots were only just turning back to them- they may have been huge, but their reaction time was slow. Taz saw a line of Autobots trying to get over the new wall made out of spluttering robot parts, and that's when she heard Up shout to her.

"THERE'S AN OPENING! WE CAN GET TO METAL GEAR!" Not a second later and Taz was running beside Up towards the gap in the still hundreds of robots. However this caught the robots' attention and they had to practically run backwards to shoot back at them. Taz felt an incredibly hot stinging sensation in her right calf and she knew she'd been shot, but she ignored it and continued to run. There was no way she was letting one laser beam cost them their lives.

Her muscles were screaming when they reached the Metal Gear tank but she couldn't stop. Up had found a way in and she clambered into the smoking tank after him. She could hear the robots approaching, each whirring footstep identical to the next, and she knew they didn't have much time, but her body forced her to stop for a moment. That pause gave her the time to actually take in the extent of her injuries: the dark zapper wound in her leg was still sizzling as the excess radiation burnt her skin, and a large amount of crimson blood was oozing from it, staining her camouflage combats; her skin was scalded in several places on her bare arms and there was dirt, several cuts, fresh bruises and blood on the skin which had been exposed by multiple rips in her shirt. Up looked pretty much the same, minus the leg wound.

"Taz, is that-" Up began, but she interrupted him.

"Si, but it's not important. We need to get going." Up looked worried but didn't argue. They ran up into the control deck of the tank, and began their search for the Fazon. They'd nearly given up hope, when a speck of glowing blue caught her eye. She spun around and there it was: a small yet powerful-looking tube of luminous blue liquid.

"Up..." she breathed, barely getting out a whisper. He turned but before they could even act, the sound of a terrifyingly close explosion stopped them in their tracks.

The robots were blasting their way in.

"RUN!" She heard Up shout and she sprinted towards the Fazon and jumped out of the way just in time before the ceiling where they'd just been standing completely collapsed. The thick white smoke of the rubble mixed with the smell of oil and blood, and Taz couldn't see a thing. The robots that had broken in weren't shooting because they couldn't risk destroying the Fazon, and there was the same stillness, like the calm before a storm. Suddenly she felt hands on her back and spun around to point her zapper at...Up.

Wait...she could see Up.

The smoke was cleared.

"TAZ LOOK OUT!" She spun back around and reflexively at the approaching robot. Its red eyes seemed to gleam with delight as it moved to one side and swung its arm out, ready to knock her to the ground. She had to throw herself down to get out of the way, and she stood up to find Up shooting with all his might.

They were back to back again.

They rotated together and Taz didn't think she stopped shooting once, but the robots they were fighting were stronger, bigger, and a whole hell of a lot harder to destroy. She felt another searing pain near her other zapper wound, and countless burns and cuts where shrapnel broke the surface of her skin as it flew back in her face. As they ran together and jumped to escape yet another overwhelmingly large fireball explosion when the third Transformer thundered to the ground, Up grabbed her arms.

"TAZ, GO AND GET THE FAZON! I CAN HOLD THEM IF YOU RUN NOW-"

"NO, UP! THERE'S ONLY FIVE LEFT BUT JOU CAN'T DO THIS ALONE! JOU'LL DIE!"

"I CAN'T JEOPARDISE WINNING THE WAR!"

"JOU CAN'T JEOPARDISE JOUR LIFE!"

Taz jumped to her feet and started shooting, but there were no robots there.

"What de-"

Suddenly she was flung across the tank by a heavy swipe to her right side. Her body crashed to the ground beside the dismembered remains of an Autobot and her zapper about ten feet away from her. She clutched her side as an intense pain shot through her rib and she was sure she'd broken something.

"TAZ!" She looked behind her at Up's cry and there were two Autobots looming over her. Panic threatened to break through but her instincts told her she needed to be calm. If she could just reach her zapper...

PEW! PEW! PEW!

"TAZ RUN!" She scrambled to her feet and started to sprint. Sweat was dripping from her forehead and she didn't even wipe it away when it stung her eyes. She reached her zapper but agony suddenly shot through her right leg again. The now huge laser burn forced her to stumble to the ground. The Autobots were approaching. Her zapper was just too far. Her muscles and bones were dying. Up was running towards her. She could see the other two robots sentinels behind him.

_Up was running towards her._

_The robot sentinels were behind him._

She tried to scream at him to look out but all she could manage was his name as one of the Autobots grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up to meet the other's zapper.

"UP!"

"TAZ HANG ON!" She was at least twenty feet in the air and Up was at least twenty feet from reaching her. The sentinels were closing in on him. She knew he wasn't going to make it but there was a part of her that just couldn't believe it.

That part was wrong.

As Up leapt towards the Autobots, the mechanical tentacles of the robots grabbed his legs and arms and wrapped around them. He didn't cry out but the pain must have been unbearable. He too was lifted up and was level with her.

She didn't have time to speak before she saw another mechanical figure come through the ceiling.

Optimus Prime.

Up didn't cry out as the robots' grip on him tightened and they held him spread-eagle in the air. He didn't protest when Optimus Prime turned to him.

Then Taz saw the spinning blade of the buzz-saw.

"NO! UP!" She struggled in the Autobot's grasp but she couldn't shake it. She was kicking and screaming and there was the sound of sparks and the smell of blood, but she still heard Up's last words.

"Go to hell you dead-god damned piece of scrap metal."

The saw neared Up's chest.

Taz was screaming so much her throat was red raw.

She saw the glint in Optimus Prime's eyes.

Up held his head up.

Taz couldn't look away.

The smell of smoke.

The buzz of metal.

The saw hit its target.

Up's cry was the worst sound in the world.

His blood was everywhere.

The robots made her watch as Up's body was sawed vertically in half. It was utter agony just to watch, but his cry reminded her that what she was feeling wasn't even close. The sentinels let the two halves of his body drop to the ground and Taz vomited in the Autobot's claws. She was past crying. All she could see was the left side of Up's body and the slowly growing pool of crimson liquid that surrounded it. She didn't even register the Autobot's monotone voice.

"And now for you."

The rush of air as she fell.

Darkness.

Agony.


	32. Bravery

"...two broken ribs, severe second degree burns by three zapper pews to the right leg, multiple lacerations..."

Waking up with rubble settled in her hair. The robots believed she was dead. They'd left the tank.

"...fractured wrist, ankle tissue damage, deep wound cutting close to the stomach..."

Looking left and seeing his blue eye for once emotionless. Remembering.

"...several bruises from muscle strain, many sections of hair burnt away..."

Her entire vision tinting crimson. Ignoring the pain. Finding her zapper. Running.

"...clear-up mission think the blackened crater was the remains of Optimus Prime..."

Swallowing hard as she pulled the grenade from Up's utility belt. Metallic laughter. Pure hatred.

"...they found her collapsed in the middle of a pile of decapitated Autobots..."

Screaming so much she couldn't see. Wires and sparks. Metal scraping like nails on a chalk board. Fatigue catching up.

"...she regained consciousness momentarily when they discovered her..."

Hearing voices. Knowing they'd forgotten him. Willing herself to wake up.

"...the only word she could manage was his name-"

"UP!" Taz shot up in an uncomfortable bed and snapped her eyes open to an unwelcoming white light. Shapes came into focus and she looked up at Dr Martins and a nurse.

"Lieutenant, please don't try to get up. Your injuries will worsen if you move too much."

"Up..." The doctor broke eye contact with her and coughed, continuing to look at his clipboard.

"Lieutenant, lie back on the bed please." He mumbled into the clipboard, and only looking up when she sighed heavily (feeling a sharp pain in her side as she did so) but flopped back onto the bed which she now knew as a hospital bed. Dr Martin then proceeded to tell her about her injuries and how long she needed to rest for, but she wasn't listening. All she was thinking about was why he wasn't breaking the news of Up's death to her, and the image of his ocean blue eye, cold and lifeless, and the blood. _So much blood_. She squeezed her eyes shut in hope of shutting out the memories, but instead she was met with more vivid versions of them, so she quickly opened them again. The doctor had finished his list of information and was now peering at her cautiously, occasionally casting side-glances at the nurse. It was incredibly irritating.

"Are jou just going to stand there and look at me all day or are jou going to have de guts to say it. I already know; I saw it happen." Her skin crawled as she almost whispered the last words. Dr Martin's brow furrowed and the nurse looked confused. They still said nothing.

"Look, jou don't even have to tell me. Just...just tell me if there's a...memorial." She knew she wouldn't go; it would be too distressing to see so many people stand up and say kind words like they knew him, and she'd probably hit someone, but she just wanted the doctor to say something, to act like he was real.

"Lieutenant..."

"Just spit it out!"

"Taz. Commander Up's body is waiting to be in surgery." _What? _The news left Taz completely dumbfounded, and she just sat there with narrowed eyes, her mouth attempting to say something but her brain unable to produce the words.

"W-waiting?" She managed, her eyes stinging with confusion and hurt.

"Uh, Lieutenant-"

"TELL ME!" She was getting hysterical with his words making her harrowing thoughts even more impossible to fight.

"We're waiting for your word on the matter." The doctor's eyes were downcast again and he looked ashamed of what he was telling her.

"What does that mean?" She said, her voice small and unstable.

"Dr Space-Claw," Dr Martin almost spat out his name, "believes that that he can get Commander Up's body working again-"

"He can save Up?" She looked up at the doctor, her eyes wide and her heart beating almost as it used to.

The doctor coughed and after what was probably much deliberation, said, "yes."

"But... I-I saw..." She couldn't finish her sentence but he knew what she meant.

"We know, Lieutenant; but Dr Space-Claw says that it's possible with new technology-"

"Do it."

"But, Lieuten-"

"I said do it! Tell them to do the operation!"

"Taz-"

"It'll save Up's life, Si? So jou're wasting time!"

"I-"

"GO!" The tears that had been threatening to fall were replaced with anger. Why was he hesitating? Up could... Up could... die... and he was waiting around to ask her permission to save him? Did he think she wanted him dead?

She regretted saying that. The nurse, who she now knew as Brenda, had finally given in and was wheeling her to where Up was. She hated having to be pushed around in the chair but getting up and walking caused the dull pain in her foot to surface, making her ankle feel like it was snapping. When they reached a door that read 'Critical Care', Taz felt an immediate numbness shiver through her nerves. Could she handle seeing Up? She told herself to stop being so pathetic and to swallow it, but when Brenda knocked on the door and she heard footsteps, Taz felt more cowardly than she'd ever been. A nurse with mousy brown hair in a bob answered the door and looked down her nose at Taz before turning to Brenda with a painted-on smile.

"Hello there. We would like to see Commander Up." Brenda said stiffly and Taz could tell there was no love lost between the two nurses.

"Oh, of course, but you may want to come back later. We're just waiting to see when he'll wake up." The nurse at the door replied, her voice so fake it was plastic lifted. Taz frowned; it had been ten hours since Dr Martin had scurried away and given whoever was doing the operation her permission.

"¿Qué? It's been ten hours! What de hell kind of operation takes ten hours?" She shouted, and she would've been out of the chair if it weren't for the pain in her side and her ankle. Then it was the nurse's time to look confused, and she raised an eyebrow at Brenda. Taz turned to see Brenda looking sheepish and her stomach dropped. She turned back to the Critical Care nurse and she was giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Perhaps you should come inside, Lieutenant." She said, and held the door open as Brenda pushed Taz though.

It was like a different world. Completely different from the normal hospital wards, the Critical Care unit was dark and too quiet for anyone's liking. There was a small hallway of which a few sections were screened off by grey curtains. Taz caught a glimpse of what was going on behind one of the screens when a doctor came out of it and she didn't want to see it ever again. She was lead down a series of small corridors, each one making her more nervous about what lay ahead. They eventually reached the smallest hallway Taz had seen in the ward; it had just one large door with no windows, and one grey bench against the far wall. The nurse led them over to the door but turned before they could go through it.

"Wait here please." She said, her voice quiet and formal, and she left them to wait in the hallway, Brenda twiddling her thumbs and trying to give Taz encouraging smiles, and Taz, alone with her thoughts. Just seeing 'Critical Care' had stirred up thousands of possibilities of what was on the other side of that door, and they had been worsened by seeing so many terrifying injuries on the way there. Suddenly Taz heard the nurse's first words to her again, but with a hidden meaning showing.

"Oh, of course, but you may want to come back later. We're just waiting to see _if_ he'll wake up." She shuddered and Brenda put a hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off. It wasn't her fault, but Taz had never liked anyone taking pity on her. The door opened and Taz's head shot up. The nurse with the brown hair was back, and she had a friend.

"Lieutenant, this is Dr Page. He's going to explain the...situation...to you." It was all too slow-moving. Why couldn't they just tell her what was going on?

"Hello Taz." Well at least he was less formal than the others.

"Did jou perform de...operation?" She asked him as he sat down on the bench.

"No. A man called Dr Space-Claw did." He said the name with the same disgust as Dr Martin had.

"So why are jou here?"

"I'm here to assess Up's condition now. Dr Space-Claw...couldn't stay after the operation."

"Ok..."

"Right. Taz you have to understand that Up's injuries are some of the worst this department has encountered." She nodded, her muscles tensing, making her unable to speak. "But that doesn't mean we couldn't...help them. As you have been told, Dr Space-Claw believes in new technology from planets the G.L.E.E has conquered. Earth's medical expertise wouldn't have sufficed for Up's injuries; this new technology was the only way Up could have...lived." She nodded again, very aware that Page was about to break some major new to her. "Taz, Up was sawn vert-"

"Vertically in half by Optimus Prime. Si, I know." The impatience had finally bubbled to the surface and she gripped the sides of the wheelchair.

"...Yes. When the clear-up mission found him, they...they found the left side of his body to be in near normal condition; however Up's right side from the shoulder down was...the robots...uh...it had been crushed by the robots as they left the tank you were in." _They stepped on it._ Dr Page took a long pause and Taz felt like shaking his shoulders and yelling at him to put her out of her misery. "When you regained consciousness as the clear-up squad took you back to the ship, you called his name and they went back to get Up's left side, and they brought it back as a mark of respect. As soon as they got back to the base, Dr Space-Claw saw what had happened and told us he could do something about it." _What? JUST TELL ME!_

"Commander Up's right side has been replaced with robotic technology." The world was spinning. She wanted to vomit. She wanted to run away. She wanted to slap the doctor in front of her. She wanted to kill Dr Space-Claw. She wanted to kick herself. But she told the doctor completely different.

"I want to see him."

"Huh? Taz, don't you think it might be a little too distressing for-"

"I WANT TO SEE HIM!" She was out of the chair, limping and hopping towards the door. When the doctor and two nurses stood up and went to stop her, she gave up trying to hop and ran towards the door, her ankle screamingly painful. She flew through the heavy door and dropped to the floor at the sight of him.

Countless tubes with liquids and blood were attached to his left side, complicated wiring hooked up to his right. To the untrained eye his body wouldn't have looked much different to how it had been before, but as Taz's eyes traced the 'skin' on Up's right side, she saw every missing detail. All the scars, the bruises, the scabs and scrapes were gone. The metal had been crafted to look as similar to human skin as possible, but it was still slightly shiny. Her eyes drifted upwards to his face, which was clean shaven and it would have made him look younger, if it weren't for the mop of short spiky grey hair that had replaced his dark brown. She heard a voice explaining this to her.

"The lack of hair follicles... technology...synthetic sensors...detect temperature for right side..." It was all nonsense to Taz, and she couldn't even listen properly. Her eyes were locked on Up. He looked so...helpless; so broken. Her heart and brain were burning at the edges as she looked at him, the situation unfathomable. She only paid attention when an alarm clock went off. Wait- it wasn't an alarm clock.

"Breathing stable!"

"His heart rate's picking up."

"Pulse is normal."

"Circuitry and blood are working fine."

"He's waking up!"

There were about five other doctors in the room Taz hadn't noticed were there, but all of a sudden they were like bees around a hive. Taz felt someone pick her up and sit her back in the wheelchair, but she never kept her eyes off Up's now rising and falling chest. That is, until something white in front of her face blocked her view: Brenda was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. She hadn't realised she was crying, but sure enough her cheeks had long trails of salt water down them, and there were more tears coming. Suddenly Taz was full-on sobbing and she couldn't control it. She felt Brenda's hands on her shoulders but the sobs drained the power out of her so she couldn't shove her away.

"You're being very brave, Lieutenant." Brenda whispered in her ear, trying to say that it was okay to cry. Taz shook her head; she wasn't being brave. She wasn't the brave one.

Up was the brave one.


	33. Disappointment

"It's Junior: he's a dick!" _Well we knew that already_ Taz thought. Bug and February had just come rushing back onto the main ship after their supposed 'date' down on Bug World. She would have ignored them normally as the sight of the pair holding hands and whispering to each other made her feel sick, but now was the one moment when the blonde chica actually sounded like she had something important to say.

"It's true." Bug continued their statement, "He's been lying to everyone all along. He knew about my crashed Starship, he knew everything about the Bug World, and he even wanted February to get captured." Taz didn't dislike that plan at the moment, but she had to concentrate; it looked like they were going to have to arrest someone.

"...Galactic League of Extra-Terrestrial Exploration wants to capture the bugs, so they can make their own twisted abominations!" February waffled on.

"Damn that G.L.E.E: they're always making twisted abominations of everything!" Up shouted, and Taz wasn't sure, but she thought Up might've been talking about her being forced to go on the mission... but Taz couldn't dwell on it too long, as an annoying squeaky sound was interrupting her thoughts.

"...he hand-picked all of us because he thought we were all too stupid to figure it out," _estupida, eh? When that cabron gets back here he's gonna feel more than a knife in his back... _February then went ahead and blatantly pointed out why she thought Junior had picked each of the crew apart from her (Taz had obviously terrified the girl enough that the message had gotten through). She would've smirked, but then she noticed Up who was standing beside her: his shoulders were slumped over, his head was hanging low and although his eyes were downcast, Taz could see the sadness in his eyes. As she'd decided many times before, if it was anyone else she would have rolled her eyes and written them off as weak; pathetic; _soft... _But seeing Up like this: with such hurt in his eyes, made the urge to pull him into her arms even harder to fight.

When February had said that Junior had only picked him to go on the mission because he was a 'total pussy', it hadn't hurt as much as when Taz had called him 'soft', but it had still hurt. Even though he knew that it hadn't been Junior's decision (even though he'd said it was), the way that he was talked to now: like he was nothing more than a battle-worn commander who wouldn't- no- _couldn't _hurt a fly, made him feel like exactly that.

However he knew that something inside of him was still as he used to be when his head instinctively shot up when the noise of a drop-pod docking sounded through the computer system.

"Sir, another pod is docking with the starship!" Specs called out and Up realised that she was actually talking to _him_. Suddenly he felt more like a commander again and his smile, soft though it may have been, returned to his face.

"That's probably that _cabron _Junior right now." Up heard Taz say from behind him, and for a second it felt like old times. _I guess my talk with Bug really did help_, he thought.

"Krayonder!" Up felt even better when the private stood to attention and saluted when he said his name, "Prepare to take our _friend_ Junior into custody." He finished, and when he heard Krayonder reply with 'Yes sir!' he felt even more confident. Krayonder then proceeded to stand in front of the sliding doors with hand-cuffs, ready to arrest Junior when he walked onto the ship.

"Alright, you're under arrest, man!" He shouted as the doors slid open to reveal... no one. _That's impossible- there aren't any autopilots on the drop-pods! How can-_

"YIHEHEHEHEHE!" _What the- _all of a sudden Krayonder had a giant mosquito sticking out of his chest. Up barely had time to register what was going on before another huge parasite flew right up to him and Taz. Luckily Taz carried her zapper ready at all times so she could aim at it and it flew away, joining the other and sucking Krayonder's blood, and it was quickly followed by a third. Up felt his arms try to spread out protectively in front of Taz, but then he realised they were shaking.

What could he possibly do to protect her now?

Everyone was screaming. Krayonder was lying on the floor and losing blood rapidly from the three enormous mosquitoes sticking into his body; Specs was watching him with growing fear and looked about as powerless as she felt; Up was cringing back in fear like a pathetic baby; Taz was aiming her zapper with one hand and the other... _mierda, _was on Up's back; Bug had attempted to lead February to safety with the other rangers but was now talking with the _gigantesco _scorpion that was now holding the supposed science officer in its claw. Taz quickly withdrew her hand from Up's back when she realised he'd taken a similar position with her when the Megagirl unit had been introduced. She crouched to the ground and aimed up at the scorpion but she knew it was far too big to take down, especially with the pathetic crew she was in.

How could she take that thing down without the real Up?

_¡Esa estupida loco molesto __malévolo __maldito robota__! _

The Megagirl unit had set the ship's core to overload. Krayonder had done probably the bravest thing in his life and distracted the bugs so the others could run. Now usually she wouldn't have left a crew member behind but it was that or the whole ship would blow up. When she heard Krayonder's scream she swallowed the pain like she had a thousand times before, but the new Up obviously hadn't gotten used to losing people again.

"KRAYONDER! NO!" He cried. _No, come on Up. Jou can bear a scream can't jou?_

"Come on! Let's go! Those cucarachas can't be far behind!" She shouted, sounding like it was to the whole crew, but knowing it was mostly to Up. She reached out her hand like she would've done before, but realised what she was doing as Up turned round and turned it into a gesture. She thought they were all going to keep running but February started crying and threw herself into Up's arms. _Idiota, _she thought to herself, _how could jou think that it's like de old days? Up can't bear to see someone cry, let alone someone get killed! Jou have to lead this mission on jour own now. Jou don't have Up...not as he was before. _

"Dia de los muertos!" she shouted, pushing Bug out of her way, "He can't be trusted," she pointed to Up and before she knew what she was saying, another harsh comment came out of her mouth, "and neither can jou!" She turned away before the hurt in Up's eyes could make her any weaker. "Specs! Go and find Tootsie- reverse the core overload!" They could hear the shrieks of the bugs. She was losing time.

"Damn it!" She snatched one of Up's hand zappers from him and shoved it at February. "Do jou know how to use one of these?" she asked the blonde chica.

"Uh, I think so; I've used a blow-dryer before." _Jesus cristo_.

"Uh, ok. If something attack jou, jou pretend jou're trying to blow-dry its hair. Now go lock jourself in jour room!" Ok, that was it. The crew was safe, but only if the bugs had a distraction...

_Mierda._

No, she'd fought off twenty Autobots with one zapper and three zapper pews to the leg! She'd blown Optimus Prime to a crater with one grenade. She could fight off three giant mosquitoes, couldn't she?

Yes.

Taz started to run down the corridor back where they'd just come through, but a voice stopped her.

"Taz! Where're you going?" Up knew dead god damn well where she was going.

"I'm going to go mislead those damn bugs and buy us some time." _Translates as: I'm going to go and try to take on three giant bugs single-handedly and get myself killed._ Up had heard the speech before and he'd always told her that there was no way in hell she was doing it alone; he'd always reached out his hand and taken hers before she's had a chance to leave alone, but all he could manage was so pathetic a child could've said no to it.

"Taz, that sounds awfully dangerous." He looked up at her and tried to plead with her through his eyes.

"I know Up," her voice softened as she looked back at him, "an old friend taught me once what it's like to laugh in de face of danger... so jou two _idiotas_" her voice was as cold as ice again "...STAY OUT OF MY WAY!" And she was gone.

"Taz! W- I..." It had been him who'd taught her to laugh in the face of danger. First day. And all of a sudden it hit him. _An old friend._ To her he wasn't Up anymore. He was just a disappointment.

He couldn't let himself be that.

Suddenly he didn't care about February, crying in her room. He wasn't bothered where Tootsie was, he wasn't worried whether Specs was going to reverse the core overload in time or even that Bug was trying to talk to him. Hell, he wasn't even concerned that there was an evil robot on the ship.

All he knew was that the tiny Mexican tough son-of-a-bitch Lieutenant who he'd been in love with for nearly four years was about to sacrifice her life.

Time stopped.

He felt something in his blood that he hadn't felt in two years, and he was conscious of his heart beating as it once did. He was running.

"TAZ!"

"Come and get me jou stupid bugs! ¡Sígueme! ¡Sígueme! Follow de leader!" All she had to do was take down three giant mosquitoes and then a scorpion that was over five times her size and the crew would be saved. If that's what it would take and she was leading this mission alone then she'd do it. Besides, if she didn't have Up, then there was no point in caring about her own life...

"YIIIIIAAA!"

"AAAAAH, what de-" Taz felt something pierce her upper back and suddenly she felt extremely faint; she was losing blood. _The mosquitoes_. She ignored the pain and the urge to close her eyes long enough to feel another stab that felt like a machete digging into her back. She fell to the floor as the third stuck its stylets through her skin. She wanted to turn around and shoot the damn bugs but she was losing blood too quickly. Taz was finding it difficult just to keep her eyes open, when all of a sudden-

"TAZ! NO!"

...Up? Darkness.

"GET OFF HER YOU DAMN BUGS!" She could hear again. The suction and pain left her back and she heard a crunching sound as Up punched each of the mosquitoes. _What? It's...Up isn't...why is...he's still..._Darkness.

"YOU BUGS WANT BLOOD? THEN TAKE IT!" _NO! _Darkness.

Taz woke up this time to see the three mosquitoes in Up's back as he fell to the ground, muttering his last words.

"You...damn...bugs..." With one light sigh he was lying next to her.

No. Not again. NOT AGAIN!

"Up..." Taz felt the same numbness and utter shock she'd felt almost two years ago. She couldn't get her words out. Her tongue felt like sand. She crouched on the floor yet again next to Up's body and felt completely powerless. She shakily reached out her hand towards him, and that was when the emotions kicked in.

"Damn jou!" She could feel the tears scratching at the backs of her eyes, "Damn jou, jou big damn fool!" Up had done it again. He'd sacrificed his life for her. She didn't even care if he was seeing someone else when he'd kissed her. She didn't care that he'd just turned back into the old Up. "Damn jou and jour big damn heart."

All she cared about was that he was gone.

"Damn jou and jour big damn heart." Taz. Her voice was thick and her breathing was so loud that he could hear it getting strained.

Up had been hearing the sound of Taz trying not to cry for seven years, but it had never been over him. He had to stop her crying, be there for her- he always had; but the blood was slowly draining from him, and so was his consciousness.

_Come on Up! Taz needs you! Get back up! _Taz's voice was inside his head for the last one. He needed to be strong. He needed to find the strongest feeling inside him and use it against the bugs. He needed to get to Taz.

Wait-

_Taz_.

His heart.

Here we go. Taz couldn't bear to look at Up's body as she felt the tears circling the rims of her eyes. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid- so weak as to just lie there and watch him sacrifice himself. She never thought she'd lose him again, at least not so quickly. She curled her arms around her head, ready for the flood of salty tears that would soon drip off her cheeks and rub her nose in the fact that she was yet again crouching beside Up's dead body.

"Uh-hh" A cough.

A cough!

Up!

"You...want...blood...?"Jesus cristo. "Then take it..." Up was alive? _Of course he is jou big idiota- he's getting up! _She watched with bewilderment as Up grabbed one of the mosquitoes and plunged it right into his heart. _What is he doing? _Taz's throat still held the lump that was going to turn into tears, so she couldn't even cry out when she saw the mosquitoes taking more and more of Up's blood.

"TAKE...IT...ALL!" Suddenly all three mosquitoes flew back from Up's body and started shaking. They seemed to swell up momentarily before exploding, their wings and body parts literally bursting apart. Taz had to put a hand in front of her face so their innards and Up's blood didn't splatter in her eyes. Still in shock, she shakily stood up and pointed at the mosquitoes.

"Up...how- how did jou-"

"Make them violently explode?" Up completed her sentence as he clipped the straps on his commanders' uniform back up, and she looked at him with her mouth open, utterly baffled.

"Yeah..."

"I raised my heartbeat," _but not as much as it rises when I look at you_, "using breathing exercises." Up couldn't let her know that it was her voice inside his head that got him to get back up, that he would do anything to protect her, even when he was on a dangerously low blood supply. He'd just gotten her to talk normally again. _Oh crap she's looking at you. Quick, say something! _"Their puny bodies must not have been able to handle all of my blood!" Taz still wasn't saying anything, and he was getting even more nervous. He knew how fast she could have her knife at a man's throat. Never the less he kept talking: "Bug was right! I just needed to learn how to kill...with my heart!" _Damn it, Up. You're getting carried away with this. Stop talking about your heart or you might just tell Taz something else...Uh, quick! Say something tough! _"I killed them all, Taz! I killed them all!" Taz was nodding her head now, so this was good, "I'm still a killer! Oh, I'm still a killer!"

"That's great!" As she was running towards him, for the first time in nearly two years, Up realised that his body had been doing what his mind, and heart, wanted him to do. He threw his arms out and spun Taz around in them as she hugged him back with as much enthusiasm.

"Oh Taz!" Up squeezed his eyes shut and realised he never wanted to let her go again, but he sort of had to, otherwise Taz would probably stab him. However when he did set her down on the ground, his hands were still on her waist and hers on his shoulders. _Wait...should I-_

"Jou, know," _Ok, obviously not, _"Up! I used to think that_ I_ was de proof that jou didn't need de balls to be tough. But now I know- jou" she pointed at him as she grinned like Up hadn't seen her do in a long time, and he felt a warm feeling inside him that he hadn't felt for the same amount of time, "jou are de proof, that jou don't need a tiny skin sac of de testicles, to be one TOUGH, SON-OF-A-BITCH!"

"Thanks Taz," Up had to refrain from hugging her as he put one hand on her arm, "now come on- let's go help out the rest of the crew." Up knew she'd appreciate that one: helping the crew and doing their job first. As Taz looked around, thinking there was no time, he knew what to do. "Quick! Hop on my back; I can run faster than the two of us combined."

It was a stupid sentence, but it sounded like music to Taz. She struggled to hide her grin as she and Up did their kick-ass version of a handshake, with her ending up sitting on his back.

"YAAAAAA!" Up ran off as Taz hollered her battle cry, and at that moment she knew that the old Up had always been in there somewhere, and that he would never disappoint her.


	34. Fury

"Ten hut!" Up called, and the five other rangers and robot around him stood to attention. It had been Bug who'd sacrificed his life to save the crew; he'd forced the giant scorpion out of the ship doors and into the airlock pod. The only thing was that to get rid of the scorpion they had to open the airlock...with Bug in it too. February and him had said their last goodbyes before she pressed the release button. Up had bend his head in respect but for once he didn't feel that automatic depression and the cold, rain-like tears that he'd been feeling ever since his injury. However he still had to give the poor boy a proper burial, even though he'd just admitted that he was actually a bug in a human body- the scorpion's doing apparently. So the crew had helped him to gather Bug's human remains and place them, as tactfully as possible, into a makeshift coffin that they were now standing before on the soft soil of Bug World.

"We are gathered here today...to pay our final respects to our honoured dead," Taz had heard Up give this speech many times before, but she hadn't felt so...full of emotion, whilst he gave it, until now. "Bug, who we lay to rest here in his native soil." Taz looked from side to side and saw that almost everyone, par her, Up and of course the Megagirl unit, had a tear in their eye. She tutted to herself: they obviously hadn't been prepared for missions with injury or death.

"So Bug...I know that your body exploded in space and that the few remaining bits of it that we managed to salvage are all lying in a pile in this box at my feet," the communal silence was broken by February's whimpering gasps, and the others cast a 'what the hell' glance at Up. Taz however, knew that Up couldn't stand the usual sentimental speeches of funerals, as it reminded him too much of his family, so she didn't bat an eyelash at the seemingly bizarre statement, "but I like to think that you're still out there, somewhere."

"Would you settle for somewhere right here?" a cheerful voice to their left interrupted the mood, and as they turned, Taz saw a bright orange bug walking towards them. And she had left her zapper on the ship. _Mierda. _

"It's a damn bug!" she shouted as most of the crew ran behind her. But where was Up? It took her a few seconds to realise that Up was standing in front of her with his arms outstretched: he was _protecting _her. However before Taz had time to marvel at how quick Up's transition back to his old self had been, the Bug started talking again.

"No guys it's me: Bug!" The last word was a name. Bug: _the _Bug whose body parts they'd just put into a coffin?

"Bug?" Up said questioningly, stepping forward but keeping his arms stretched defensively in front of her.

"Yeah," the giant orange ant replied, "I know I look a little different but...you see when my body died up there," he pointed one of his claws to the sky, "I woke up down here." The insect seemed to have gotten to the point, so she zoned out of his speech and looked up at Up. To anyone else he would look like he was still listening to Bug, but Taz could see the far-away look in his eyes.

He couldn't believe it. No, not that Bug was actually alive, but as a bug, but that he'd felt like he could protect Taz again. He hadn't felt that in ages, and he decided that he would promise her never to stop feeling that. He was about to do it, turn around and tell her everything, but that February girl's voice was so darn loud.

"Oh Bug," she gushed, practically skipping over to the orange insect with bulging eyes, "it's really you!"

"Well I'd understand if you still hate Bugs..." Bug replied sadly. Up shook his head, willing February to do something smart for once in her life and to love Bug despite him being different to how she thought he was before. He stopped himself:

_Kinda like he was with Taz._

Dead-god, did she still like him? Up thought back to her words earlier- had she meant all of that? He felt his face contorting with worry as he realised that maybe...maybe she didn't love him anymore.

But he could live with that, right? He and Taz had been friends- best friends, for nearly six years before Up had finally had the guts to do it. They'd been through hell and back together, so surely their friendship was still intact...right?

_Damn it, Up- be a man! Just go ahead and ask her, apologize for letting her down. Come on! You've fought over fifty killer robots single-handedly! Okay I'll do it-_

"Well tarnation, y'all!" Oh dead-god. Yet another member of his crew had interrupted him. Up didn't let his frustration show though, as it was quite a happy moment for Tootsie, who'd just dragged the Megagirl unit forward by the hand.

"What d'you say we turn this here funeral into..." he knelt in front of the robot and Up looked down to see Taz's eyebrows raise a good inch up from their normal position, "a wedding." He pulled out of his pocked what looked like just a garishly-coloured plastic ring, but the Megagirl unit wasn't complaining. She picked up the ring and said something that he supposed passed as a yes. Looking round, Up found that everyone was looking at him, so he quickly gathered his thoughts and stood up straight as the excited couple stood either side of him.

"Gather round everybody," he cleared his throat and tried to remember what Hibbart had done when there was a proposal on a mission, "do you, Ultrabeam Megagirl," Up tried not to pay attention to Taz's smirk from behind that robot, "take this human, Tootsie Megagirl," Tootsie had told him about the name system on his planet, and it seemed right to honour the traditions of his native planet, "to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He looked, confidently for once, into the robot's ocular sensors and saw that they actually looked full of emotion.

"Confirmative," she-it...she...the Megagirl unit replied, and as Up asked Tootsie more or less the same question, he replied with the same answer. Well, not really the same- more of a 'Hell yeah!', but he got the message. As Up watched Tootsie take the Megagirl unit's face in his hands and kiss her tenderly, he felt his heart swirl up with emotion again as he remembered the last time he'd done something close to that.

And dead-god he wished he had the guts to do it again.

Well that was something Taz never thought she'd see. Probably the dumbest person in the crew, second only to February, had just gotten married to una robota. Just the thought of a human of _normal_ intelligence having a relationship with something that, not two years ago, was trying to annihilate the human race, was loco to her. However, she still...loved Up, so each to their own.

Despite the seemingly 'happy-ending-type' situation, Taz was stressed-out. Bug had invited some of his friends (annoyingly also insects) and though they seemed friendly enough, the constant buzzing was irritating her even further. Just then, she felt a warm hand on her back, and, realising that no one else could send shivers down her spine like that, she concluded that it was Up's. The shivers stopped short though, when she realised something.

Or rather, _someone_.

_Ok Up, you've felt confident enough to put your hand on her back, though it could've been her shoulder seeing how high up it was. But never mind- you can talk to her now, everyone else is talking- even Krayonder's had the guts to put his arm around Specs. Do it! Now!_

"Uhh..." _Well that was terrific._ Taz looked up at him and he bit his lip, contemplating what to say next.

"Were jou gonna say something?" She asked. Why did her eyes have to look so big and captivating in this light? Up could feel his mouth going dry immediately as the strength of her eyes burned into his.

"Uh, I guess everyone's back to training then!" _Coward._ Up cursed himself repeatedly, but he still wore the same cheerful grin. That was when he saw Taz's eyes drop to the floor.

"Oh yeah," she huffed, shrugging away from him and looking mad enough to spit, "back to _training_." She spat the word out, and suddenly she was walking away from him.

"Taz, wait!" he jogged to catch up with her, and she stopped, but didn't look him in the eye. "Where're you going?" Up had a feeling that they'd had this conversation before.

"It's nothing, I-" he saw her hesitating; "I just have something to do." She marched off again, and although Up ran after her onto the drop-pod, the rest of the crew piled in with him and he was distracted with Bug asking him questions about the Galactic League, Tootsie jabbering on about Farm Planet, and by Krayonder's general loudness.

When the pod docked back on the starship, all he could see was a flash of black and red as Taz ran off to a room he realised he didn't know the number of. Before he could ask which room was hers though, Tootsie insisted on dragging him into a brief 'shindig' for the wedding, and he was left to wonder what Taz had needed to do.

_¡Maldito idiota!_ Taz threw her fist forward yet again into the grey walls of her room on the starship, not caring that it was bleeding and scarlet liquid was making its way down her arm in thick rivers. She was furious at herself: how could she forget that Up was 'a couple' now with his trainer? She spat on the floor at the thought of it. Sitting down on the unwelcoming bed, she couldn't help letting Peter's words enter her head, which swirled up even more fury in the pit of her stomach. She stood up, and threw her chair across the room. The others were having a party. They wouldn't be able to hear her. Up was didn't know where her room was. He wouldn't be able to find her.

Finding Taz's room was easier than getting Tootsie to talk about his home planet. If the dents in the keypad outside weren't enough, the almighty crash from inside confirmed his suspicions. He punched in what had always been her combination, and let the door swing open in front of him before entering with caution.

His eyes immediately focused on his tiny Lieutenant, and then on the sizeable hole in the wall next to her, and then finally on her right forearm, which was practically covered in blood.

"Taz!" he cried, rushing forward and taking her wrist in his hands carefully, "What have you done to yourself?" She wrenched her arm away from him and strode over to the opposite wall, stepping over the chair which had obviously been thrown there in the process.

"Shouldn't jou be at de party?" She asked cattily, not holding his gaze.

"Shouldn't you be giving me an answer?" He asked, making her roll her eyes and finally look at him properly.

"I punched de wall." She said matter-of-factly, and Up didn't hide his snigger.

"Well thank you for telling me that, I wouldn't have guessed." He snorted, but then stepped closer to her, softening his tone a fraction, "What's wrong, Taz?" She shuffled uncomfortably on the spot, but didn't break eye contact.

"I know."

"Know what, Taz?" _Jou know damn well what! _

"Peter told me." She retorted, aware of how close he was to her. Up's brow furrowed and his eyebrows knitted together.

"What did he tell you?" He finished almost with a laugh, and it threw even more wood into her fire of fury.

"Everything, Up!" She shouted, pushing away from the wall and away from him, "All about jou, and how jou're all 'loved-up' with jour trainer!" She felt sick just saying it, "And I'm fine with it- it's just..." She swallowed; she'd never really had to backtrack like this, "jou could have told me, Up." She finished quietly, sitting down on the bed, not caring that her arm was now dripping blood onto the floor.

_What?_ Peter had told Taz that he...and _Chloe_ were together? That bastard. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to Taz, who immediately shuffled away from him, and he had to suppress a smirk at how childish it was.

"Peter told you that I'm with Chloe?" He asked, leaning forward to concentrate on her facial expressions.

"Oh: it's _'Chloe' _is it? She must be really _great_." Taz said, not hiding her sarcasm at all. She was obviously _not_ fine with it.

"Taz." He started, not getting her attention one bit. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out and out his hand on her shoulder. She shook it off violently. "TAZ WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT ME?" His voice thundered through the room, making even her jump slightly. She exhaled roughly, and fixed him with the hardest glare he'd ever seen her give him.

"¿Qué?" She asked him, not as loud but with as much power.

"I-" _was never in love with Chloe, I was always thinking about you, I should've never put you on that ship, I've been in love with you for nearly four years, I only want you_, "I'm not with Chloe." He sighed with relief as she looked up at him properly and the hatred in her eyes died down. He couldn't do it; he couldn't tell her all that stuff now, while she was on the edge of killing something, so he settled for telling her about who Chloe really was.

"So I couldn't come to see you off the ship, because Chloe had practically trapped me in the gym. Plus, all my confidence had been drained by working with her for all this time." _Maldita perra_. She looked at Up, who had his head hanging low as he finished his story, and she felt the raw fury bubbling up again. She was fuming. She clenched her fists, stood up, and the world turned deep scarlet.


	35. Revenge

"WHO IS DE HIJO DE PUTA WHO IS CALLING UP, 'BABE'?" The sheer force put on the door as it was hurled open was enough to take a sizeable chunk out of the opening wall to the rehab clinic. Luckily there were no patients in the waiting room at that time, otherwise there would have been some severe disruption, however the sound of her presence could have been heard on Bug World.

"Ah, Lieutenant. It's good to see you again." Brenda didn't hide her slight smile as she looked up from behind the front desk. Taz stomped over to her and slammed her hands down on the top of the desk.

"Where. Is. Chloe." She spat, leaving even Brenda a little scared. Nevertheless, the nurse-come-receptionist just lowered her glasses to her nose and answered Taz calmly, giving her a knowing smirk in the process.

"In the gym." The Lieutenant was gone in two seconds, only leaving two massive dents in the walls behind.

Taz was taking strides nearly the entire length of her leg. With her death glare sending anyone who passed her back the way they came and running, she wondered what this inferno of rage would turn out as once she reached her destination. That is, she would have been wondering that, had the intense red cloud not seeped into her sense of the outside world. Her blood was boiling; her breath was coming out in almost snarls. She marched down the corridor and everyone looked terrified.

Except one.

"_Hey Taz-"_ Her fist hit Peter's jaw with a satisfying crunch. She didn't even stop to look back but she heard the pathetic whining and distant calls of 'I'm bleeding' coming from his direction. Still she marched towards the gym, the sound her boots made echoing through the base they'd just docked back on. She took the final turning towards her destination and as she approached the doors she thought: _prepare for hell, puta._

Oh dead-god he'd lost Taz. Again. She'd spent her remaining time on the Starship back to the base ignoring him. Well, ignoring everyone really. Up had passed her room hundreds of times but he'd thought it would be best not to disturb her, especially when he'd heard the sound of thick wood being snapped, followed by a loud bang and a combination of growling and Spanish words that he didn't know the exact meaning of, but knew what they were intended for.

He was terrified at first; he wondered if Taz was ever going to speak to him again after what he'd told her about Chloe. However he soon swallowed the fear, telling himself that he was Commander Up: the toughest son-of-a-bitch commander there was- that had ever been- in the Galactic League, and that he wasn't going to bow down because he couldn't face the woman he loved.

So now he was running. The only clue he had was that he'd seen Taz head in the direction of the Rehab Clinic as soon as she'd been allowed to leave the ship. He'd had to stay behind for a few more minutes, filling in more paperwork about the mission than anyone else in the crew, but as soon as he'd tapped in the last detail about the Megagirl unit's behaviour, he was off after her. He jogged down to the Rehab Clinic, swallowing as he opened the doors to the place he'd first realised he couldn't walk in, but strode in all the same, head held high.

"Commander Up, sir!" Squeaked a passing nurse. He nodded and she relaxed, adjusting the clipboard under her arm to speak to him, but still light pink in colour.

"Have you seen T-uh...Lieutenant Taz?" Up asked, remembering the rules about relationships between ranks. He thought he saw the small nurse try to hide a smile, but she shook her head and looked up at him.

"No I'm sorry. I've been trying to sort out some of the patients all morning; there was some loud disturbance just a while ago." She answered, and walked away before he could say anything else. He was about to leave through the double doors to try somewhere else, when he heard a small cough coming from the front desk of the large waiting room. He turned to find an older receptionist, who must have been a nurse too by her uniform, peering over the tall desk at him. Up walked over and raised an eyebrow at her, and she raised one back.

"Taz came in here five minutes ago." She said to him, pointing behind him. He gave her a confused look before turning around, and he saw two obvious dents in the wall where the doors had hit it. He turned back to the nurse, who's gone back to her computer.

"And?" He asked impatiently. She turned back to him with a slight smirk and Up suspected she knew something he didn't.

"You'd better be quick: she's headed for the gym. She's after that little trainer of yours." _Oh dead-god. There's going to be murder in the gym._ Up managed to stutter our a brief 'thank you' before running back the way he came, missing the turning for the starship dock and sprinting down the corridors towards the gym. It wasn't like he didn't want to see Chloe get what she deserved, but he didn't want to see Taz lose her job, and he knew she would kill or at least seriously harm the girl if she had a chance. Ignoring the tap-tap of a nurse's near-flat shoes behind him, he pushed his speed further, feeling grateful for the insane height difference and therefore leg-length difference between him and Taz.

Not too far from the gym he came across someone lying on the ground. Not wanting to stop, but feeling he ought to, Up stopped and crouched next the curled-over figure who was clutching his face.

"Are you alright, ranger?" He asked, but once the man took his hands away from his face and rolled over he regretted his sympathy.

"Oh, Commander!" Peter's sing-song voice was still as patronising, if not more, as it now had an added pain caused by the swelling bruise on his jaw. The blow had broken the skin and he also had a small cut over it. "Your so-called star Lieutenant just, like, broke my beautiful face!" He continued as he clambered to his feet. Up rolled his eyes, "Oh and I suppose you're going after her are you? Well I tell you now Commander, you really shouldn't go chasing after other women when you have a girlfriend." He finished by raising his eyebrows and putting his hands on his hips. Up huffed, knowing he was wasting time. However he couldn't let that one go.

"Peter." He started, prompting a 'yu-huh?' and a weird pose from the guy, "Listen to me. I am in no way," he stepped forward, making Peter step back, "whatsoever," he took another step and Peter was against the wall, "in a relationship with Chloe." He stepped away and started running again, barely aware that now Peter had started running after him too, calling out meaningless comments which consisted mostly of 'like, what?'.

He turned the final corner to the gym and stopped before he opened the doors, preparing himself for what he was about to witness inside.

Taz could spot her a mile off. The way Up had described her was 'fake, too flirty and pink', so when she saw a woman whose yellow-blonde hair was tied up in a ridiculously high ponytail, who was dressed in nothing but a tight pink vest and shorts which she really should've had the decency not to wear, and who was getting closer and closer to one of the lieutenants on the treadmills, she knew exactly where she was going.

It seemed like everyone apart from Chloe knew Taz was in the gym. Eyes followed her from all directions but she didn't care. She strode past the weights, round the other side of the sparring ring and up to the farthest treadmill. Taz made sure she was behind Chloe by a few metres before making her move.

"HEY! PUTA!" It was loud enough for _everyone_ in the gym to turn round, if their eyes weren't already on her. Treadmills stopped, people dropped the weights, pairs stopped wrestling, and finally, the _perra _turned around.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, her voice too sickly-sweet to be true, "I don't speak _alien_, do you mind running that by me again?" Taz clenched her fists but kept a straight face. She was swearing obscenities at the girl in front of her, but only in her head- for now. Giving her the same overly-sweet tone back, so answered as coolly as she could for someone filled with a quiet white rage.

"Oh, that's just too sweet: you're too dumb to even be polite about someone's accent." She said, making the fake puta open her mouth and put her hand to where her heart would have been. Taz stepped towards her quietly, and the girl flipped her hair back and looked obviously down her nose at her. Taz looked around them once she was only a foot away from Chloe, and noticed that they'd drawn quite a crowd. Chloe didn't back away though; the girl had too much confidence for her own good.

"So what do you, like, want?" She asked, but continued before Taz had a chance to reply, "'Cause, if you, like, wanna get with Up? There's no way that's gonna happen." Taz swallowed. No matter how many times she was told that Up wasn't with Chloe, her words still stung. Nevertheless she held her chin up high, still only clenching her fists again when Chloe pushed off from the treadmill behind her and started circling her. "Because he's _mine_," Chloe whispered in Taz ear from behind her, sending a shiver of hatred down her spine. "And _you _left him all alone off on some mission when you knew how bad his condition was." The sickly-sweet voice was back, but with a stab of poison in it. It was taking every single tensed muscle in her body not to murder her right there and then, but, like always, Taz was waiting for her moment.

The gym looked packed. Up opened the door expecting to be able to stride in and find Taz, but he was met with the backs of a crowd of rangers, nurses and gym-goers. Up heard the door creak again behind him and turned around to see the nurse from the rehab clinic and Peter looking rather out of breath. Rolling his eyes, he turned back around and tried to see over the crowd and what they were looking at, when he heard an all too familiar voice droning out from the space between the treadmills and the sparring ring.

"I was the only one who could look after him- who understood how he was feeling." She touched the space where her heart would be. _It's not true. It's not true. It's not true. Don't listen to her. Don't listen to her. Don't listen to her._ Taz still held her stance, keeping perfectly still while the girl circled her. "And where were you? You were off having fun while he was still struggling with his injury!" _She doesn't know what she's talking about. Keep jour cool. _

Up pushed his way through the crowds, which was fairly easy, considering that when people saw the expression on his face, they moved as far away as they could. Chloe's voice was getting louder and easier to hear, but he still couldn't see her. In fact, he couldn't hear Taz, though he was pretty sure she was with Chloe.

"I made sure that he was taken care of when you carelessly left him." Up heard Chloe's voice again through the crowd. She _must_'ve been talking to Taz. "And trust me: he was _very _well taken care of." Up shuddered, ignoring the whispers around him as he made his way towards the voice. Why wasn't Taz reacting? Why was she taking comments like that from Chloe?

Unfortunately Taz couldn't quite hide her emotions at Chloe's last comment. Her eyes wavered for a moment and her mouth showed signs of her gritting her teeth. The changes were subtle but the girl still noticed them.

"Oh, don't you like the thought of me and Up together? Are you...jealous?" Taz couldn't help it- she shifted uncomfortably as another shiver caused by the suppressed rage ran down her back. "You are aren't you? Oh this is just rich," the fake girl had started to fake laugh, but even though the laughs had less life in them than plastic, each one hit Taz like a zapper pew. "Ladies and gentlemen!" Chloe called out to the crowd, throwing her arms out for effect, "The girl who thinks she's in love with Commander Up." She turned back to Taz and looked down her nose at her again, "But the truth is everybody, she only thinks that because he feels sorry for her." _Not true. Not true. Not true._ Taz felt the rage boiling up inside her as Chloe got closer and closer, making her look taller and taller, she finally bent down, and her whisper could be heard through the whole of the silent gym, "Because. No one. Loves. Little. Ta-"

"YOU BITCH!" Up had reached the front of the crowd just in time to see Chloe start to deliver her final bitchy comment to Taz, but he looked around in surprise to find that, of all people, _Peter_ had interrupted her. The crowds parted before him and he strutted into the small 'clearing' around Taz and Chloe. Chloe turned around and could only look at the slightly shorter man in confusion as he marched up to _her, _and not Taz. "You told me that you were going out with the Commander!" He shouted, and as Peter pointed at him Chloe turned and saw him. She suddenly looked very nervous.

"But, uh, I _am_." She insisted, flipping her hair and laughing nervously. Up shook his head and decided to make his move.

"There is no way in hell, Chloe," He started to move into the circle, "that I am ever," he saw Taz and shot her a quick smile, "going to 'go out' with you." Chloe's mouth fell open.

"B-but Up!" She stuttered, looking around at the crowd which she didn't own anymore, "I thought we _had something_!" Up snorted and looked down his nose at her, something she obviously didn't like at all.

"Chloe you are the sole reason the G.L.E.E almost lost two of its best rangers." He finished, and she looked down sheepishly. That was when Up saw Taz's expression out of the corner of his eye and could tell her rage was fit to burst. She was waiting for revenge.

However that puta just wouldn't stop. "Well I don't think it was my fault- if you hadn't gone and got yourself cut in half in the robot wars, then-"

"HEY! PUTA!" She just couldn't contain it any longer. Insult her? She could take that. But insult Up? No _maldito_ way. Chloe turned around and raised her eyebrows at her with the same air of arrogance as before. _Estupida maldita perra._ "REMEMBER ME?" Taz yelled, and without warning, Chloe got a fist to the nose and was on the ground. Taz stepped over her and spat on her face, before starting to walk away. However before she did, she turned back, looked down at the fake girl who'd taken her Up away from her and realised she hadn't quite got rid of all the fire.

"Oh yeah, and dat word? It means _bitch_."


	36. Distress

"No."

"Aw, come on Tazzy! _Please?_"

"Uno: _never _call me that again, y dos: no."

"Uh...Specs what did she say?"

"I-"

"The lieutenant Taz stated the following: 'one: never call me that again, and two: no."

"Thanks Megagirl! But Tazzy-um Taz, why not? It's only for one night! And who knows it might be for the next morning too..."

"HEY! ¿CÁLLATE, ENTENDER? I AM NOT GOING TO GO TO THAT ESTUPIDA AWARD CEREMONY IN A DRESS!"

Up was happy to say the least. He'd got his confidence back, his team's last mission had been successful, he was friends with Taz again, he'd just seen the woman who's ruined the past year of his life get a taste of her own medicine and he's been told that his entire team, including himself, was going to get a medal in the award ceremony that he was headed to at that moment. The only thing that was causing him...well, a certain distress, was the fact that a: he hadn't asked Taz about that kiss before she went on the mission, and b: he'd just turned the corner into the main hall where the award ceremony was being held, and he couldn't see Taz anywhere.

Concluding that she must've been in her room, Up walked over to where he's spotted Krayonder, who was stuck in the middle of two people he was trying to ignore: Bug, who, after he'd been asked to accept a medal for his participation in the mission on Bug World, had delightedly obliged, but was now in excitement overdrive and kept pointing out random objects in the room and asking in wonder what they were, like Krayonder's shoes and the girl in front's hair band; and Tootsie, who was reacting to everything in pretty much the same way, except relating every answer poor Krayonder gave to Farm Planet.

Up sat down next to Tootsie, and Krayonder gave him a relieved look, all too happy to pass the talkative chap over to him. Luckily Up could tune out the boy's happy ramblings about his various cousins who were all members of the squash family, and instead he turned his attention to what was happening up on stage. It was nothing much, as they still had a few more minutes before the ceremony was due to start, but looking up at the familiar podium brought back images of a dream he'd had while Taz was away. Up confidently shook them away, but the idea still lurked in his brain, and there was only one thing that could flush it out.

The doors behind them opened again with a loud whack against their frames. Taz stalked into the room, meeting as many peoples' gazes with her death-glare as possible. The 'clomp' of her boots rang out in the now silence of the hall as she marched proudly towards Up and the other guys with her head held high. Attention was taken away from the Lieutenant when the doors which were still swinging from the impact reopened and a rather distressed-looking February tumbled into the hall. She was followed by Specs, who had flushed a deep pink the moment she'd realised that all eyes were on her and the other two.

Up was the first to snap: he very obviously turned back around in his seat to face the stage, returning his expression to normal. Taz always made this kind of entrance, so there was no need to openly gawp when she turned up late for a ceremony. Krayonder and Bug, after receiving more than stern glares from their Commander, followed suit, and so did the surrounding people who caught a glimpse of Up's expression. Soon the hall was filled with the low murmurs it had been filled with before and Up sat in wait for the girls on his team to arrive at their seats.

Surprisingly, Up heard the quick trotting of high heels approaching their seats, and when he turned to his right he saw that February was the first to reach them. She quickly realised that she wasn't quite looking her best (panting and red-faced from running, and with a few hairs out of place) so she shook her hair out, blinked a few times and smoothed down her uniform- wait: that wasn't February's usual uniform. She'd kept the usual royal blue theme, but her slightly baggy jumpsuit was replaced with one that was rather tight-fitting, with the collar open and a wide silver belt around her waist. Up hadn't noted the shoes until now, which were lifting her heels about four inches off the ground in sparkly silver, matching the belt and, Up noticed, the various sequins sewn around the collar and cuffs of her new outfit. Up rolled his eyes and smirked at Bug's expression as she sat down beside him.

"Wow February!" exclaimed the astonished insect as his girlfriend smoothed out the fabric over her arms, "You look just like the time me and Roach saw star 18Z04 in its supernova stage!"

"Why thank you Buggy!" she replied, and Up assumed that she hadn't heard him, otherwise her expression would have been one resembling a baffled goldfish at his complicated words. A moment later he heard heavy, strained breathing and the clunk of flatter shoes, and Specs plopped herself down in the seat behind Krayonder.

"February..." she wheezed, and Up noticed that her face was still a light pink, "how do... you walk so fast in... heels?" He looked down to find that Specs' feet had been squeezed, or rather, forced, into short-heeled shoes which were ever so slightly too small for her. She'd discarded her heavy bullet-proof Galactiv League jacket and was simply wearing her pale khaki shirt and brown trousers.

"Well, you just need practise my girlfriend!" Replied the girl in front, who was now inspecting her fingernails, "And they're only, like, one inch!" the engineer ignored her comment and set about reading figures from a small device which she had produced from her pocket.

Up felt the seat next to him move and he turned back around to find Taz, slightly pink-cheeked, but as normal: red bandana, camouflage combats, white tank top and her beloved black boots. He smiled at her and she shot him an eyebrow-raise back.

"Vale, let's just get this over with." She said gruffly, crossing her arms and looking up at the stage where they were almost ready to start. Up smirked- he knew she always hated the ceremonies. He looked down at her expression, her eyes focused and her mouth in a determined frown.

"Hey Taz..." he said, concentrating on her lips as he moved towards her slowly.

"¿Si?" She turned and shot him a confused look as he wasn't looking at her eyes, but her lips.

"...Are you wearing lipgloss?"


	37. Panic

"No." Mierda, she'd forgotten to take the lip gloss off. As soon as she'd walked into the hall and saw the people near her stare with wonder that was nothing to do with the fact that she was late, she remembered the fact that February had managed to get some makeup on her face before she could escape. She'd ducked under a stairwell and used one of the fake windows as a makeshift mirror to scrub the worst of it off but she obviously hadn't done a very good job. Luckily Up had been sitting such a long way away from the doors so he didn't see what February had originally managed to do to her face.

However now, Up was looking at her with a 'yeah, _right_' face, and she wondered if she should tell him what torture she'd been put under before she'd burst through the doors to the main hall. Pride taking over, she raised her eyebrows at him and faced forward, and soon Up followed her.

"And now, to present six awards for an outstanding team, who have recently returned from a very successful mission," the strange-voiced man at the podium practically sang into his microphone, "a man whose intellect and bravery has led us through service to the galaxy for the last two years, and has saved many lives," Up felt eyes on him for some reason. Who was he talking about? Who was the man giving them their awards? "The head of the whole Galactic League: Dr. Space-Claw, ladies and gentlemen!" Hoards of applause erupted from the audience, and Up found himself clapping along with them. He looked over at Taz- they'd been told he was always away on missions; meeting with the monarchy of other planets, solving peace issues on warring leagues. He never thought he'd meet the man who turned him into a half-robot, or 'saved his life' as ignorant people said, and now he was going to be accepting an award from him. He was probably taken advantage of whilst visiting his late son's grave, though Up didn't imagine that the man was that sentimental-

A low, whirring sound filled the hall, and Taz leapt up beside him, loudly cursing about forgetting her zapper. Up stopped her before she went too far though, as he saw that it wasn't in fact robots entering the stage, but a...man. Or at least he thought it was a man: the figure walked in such a mechanical way that Up couldn't quite be sure that it wasn't a type of robot he and Taz hadn't encountered yet. Nevertheless he sat Taz back down with him and looked up at the man who had supposedly given him the surgery that had allowed him to live. He had to give at least some credit to the 'doctor' though- he was the head of the whole Galactic League.

It wasn't until he started speaking that Up actually realised who he was.

"Ladies and gentlemen, loyal robots and bug, thank you for your warm welcome home," Dr Space-Claw's voice rang out through the hall. Up's blood ran cold-

"To Bug Bugson, the new ambassador for Bug World, to February Beatty, for- " the voice-

"But the real thanks today go to a team of rangers-" it was the voice he'd heard talking to Chloe-

"To Tootsie Noodles, for seeing love when there was nothing but hate-" the voice that had told her all the other influential commanders in the GLEE had been assassinated-

"Krayonder Clark, for outstanding loyalty to his team, and to Julia 'Specs' Aartman, for keeping calm and saving a good ship from destruction-" the voice that had told her that he was going on a fixed mission-

"Taz, for staying strong and getting the job done, and to Commander Up, for... _miraculously_...finding his inner strength-" the voice that had told her Taz was meant to die.

He was up on stage with the rest of his team. He didn't know how he'd got there but he knew that soon his body was going to be shaking with rage. He looked down to find a medal pinned to his uniform, to his right he found the rest of his team, to his left there was Dr Space-Claw, his black eyes watching him with a hint of suspicion, and in front of him there were five thousand rangers applauding him. He felt numb, the rage pooling in his heart not quite reaching muscles yet. He was ushered off stage with the rest of the team, finishing the ceremony, and suddenly he was bombarded with congratulations, questions, cheers, smiles, just- _people _everywhere. He felt his chest rising more quickly and his fingers twitch, then a small hand on his.

"Up." Taz's hand gripped his, invisible to the hoards of people only focused on what he was saying. He looked at her and saw the concern in her eyes, but that was all he got before-

"Come on, Tazzy, we've got _work_ to do!" She was pulled out of sight. All he could see were faces, all he could hear was the low hum as their questions melted together and all he could feel was the speeding throb in his head. An abnormal shape burst into view, and finally someone's voice sounded clear.

"Up, Up! Come on Commander, we've got to get ready for-"

"No, Bug, I've got to-"

"You haven't got to do anything Commander! It's a party!"

"No, you don't understand, Dr-"

"Up! We're gonna be late to the-"

"DEAD-GOD DAMN IT BUG WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME?" Bug stopped immediately, knowing he'd gone too far. "I need to find the Ambassador, or someone higher than me, and I need to find them now. Have you seen anyone?" The bug looked confused, before he answered,

"But, Commander- the head of the whole Galactic League was just up on stage a few minutes ago, I-"

"No, Bug! I..." Up had to find an excuse not to talk to Dr Space-Claw, "I need to talk to someone who's been at the base while we were away. Dr Space-Claw wasn't."

"Well Up," Bug lowered his voice, making Up feel quite stupid, "haven't you heard? Most of the Commanders in the League have all disappeared. There weren't any here today. And the Ambassadors haven't been heard from for years!" Up felt his mouth go dry; Bug was right- there was no one he could turn to. No, he was wrong- there was always one person he could turn to.

"Uh... Up? I think we should go and get ready now. Everyone's gone." Bug's voice brought him back to reality. He looked around and the hall was suddenly empty, apart from him and Bug, and people were starting to clear the stage and chairs in the distance. He nodded, and reluctantly followed the small orange bug out of the hall. After all, if he was going to find Taz, he needed to go to the party.

Mierda. She hated it: seeing everyone in dresses and fancy clothes. It was all too familiar: everyone else inside, her outside- the last to go in. In fact, the reason she had refused to wear dresses wasn't just because she was a tomboy and saw dresses as too girly for her, too weak, but it was because the last time she'd worn one, everyone she loved had died.

Up was going out of his mind. Taz was still nowhere to be seen, and he was just stood at the bar trying to look for someone, anyone with authority, who he could alert about who, or what, the head of the GLEE was.

He'd watched Specs nervously slide through the double-doors to the main hall (which was now kitted out with lights and speakers for the party), trying not to be seen in her neat short-sleeved dress which Up admitted suited her. To her relief she was soon spotted by none other than Krayonder, who surprisingly slid an arm around her shoulders and led her over to where a few tables were laid out and Tootsie was sitting with Megagirl, repeatedly asking her to dance. Not long after that February made her grand entrance, flinging open the doors and leaving her arms open wide as she strutted into the centre of the floor in her pale purple sparkly heels and matching strapless dress. Having probably located Bug well before she entered, she immediately strode up to him and dragged him onto the dance floor, where the confused insect took her waist as she draped her arms over him and looked into his eyes lovingly. Up was beginning to wonder whether Taz had decided to ditch the party altogether, when he saw a figure out of the corner of his eye.


	38. Temptation

**Final Chapter! Wow, thank you to everyone who reads, and I will be posting 100 one-shots based on one-word prompts. So if you'd like to see some more Tup, you can comment any word and I'll try to make it into a chapter! **

**Thank you so much for reading**

**ThoseSunsetEyes**

**Xx**

Taz felt ridiculous. Yet again, she reminded herself that she'd fought off thousands upon thousands of robots and aliens, and all manner of dark creatures in her time. She was the toughest, meanest, hardest-hitting woman in the whole of the GLEE, but now... Now she couldn't even walk through a door. She kicked the floor, hoping to make a satisfying heavy thud, but the result was far less sonorous than she'd expected. Remembering that she couldn't really be as harsh as she was usually tonight, she cursed again and let out a heavy breath of air as she reached her hand out to push open the doors into the main hall.

Up left his position at the bar and started running in astonishment at the figure he'd spotted. He had to shout her name to get her attention, as she was walking off at quite a fast pace and was soon going to be swallowed up by the crowd of people on the dance floor.

"Commander Parkinson!" He just caught her before she disappeared from sight. The commander whose short blonde hair stuck up at all angles turned and smiled broadly at Up, before her expression turned to one of concern at the sight of his.

"Up! Are you alright?" She asked as they walked over to the side of the dance floor where it was quieter. He shook his head quickly and gave a stern glance around them to look out for anyone to whom their conversation was more than two commanders talking about business.

"No. No I'm not actually. But first of all how are you here? I thought all the influential commanders had been- uh, I mean, I thought there was an attack on your ship!" Commander Parkinson closed her eyes briefly before answering, probably in memory of the event.

"Yes there was Up, yes there was. We still have no idea who or what attacked us and why they did, but all we do know is that it was nasty- very nasty. All that was left of the crew was me and Lieutenant Walker, and," she swallowed hard as to fight back revulsion, "a few pieces of raw flesh." Up grimaced: he'd heard about how their ship was hijacked whist returning to base, but he never thought anyone had survived. Especially when he knew that Space-Claw had made it his duty to assassinate all the commanders in the league that posed a threat to him, and boy, was Parkinson a threat to any wrongdoing. There was a moment of silence between the pair before Commander Parkinson looked up from the spot on the ground she'd been staring at. She wasn't one to let the conversation go dry.

"Anyway, what's happened to you? You looked so worried when you came to talk to me!" She asked.

"I need to give you information- important information. I needed to talk to someone else with authority because I couldn't talk to the head of the league." He took a deep breath to calm his heart rate which he could feel was speeding up, "I need you to believe me, and I need you to do what I tell you, but most importantly, I need your help."

Swearing loudly at her own stupidity and weakness, Taz slammed her hands down on each of the main doors to the main hall and pushed them open, nearly crushing a couple of ensigns who were foolishly standing behind the doors, thinking that there were no more people yet to arrive at the party. Once they'd seen her though, the result was instantaneous, as it was for anyone who caught sight of her as she made her way through the hall. Scowling at as many people as she could, she tried to look for Up.

"Gosh Up, that's a lot of information to take in," Commander Parkinson said, quite understandably shocked that Up had just told her that the whole GLEE was corrupt; that Dr Space-Claw had plotted to kill him and Taz, and the reason most of the commanders had 'disappeared' was because they had been murdered by people, or whatever they were, that were working for Dr Space-Claw himself.

"I know, I know, but please listen to me: I overheard-"

"Don't worry about it Up! I can tell you're not lying to me." Parkinson told him with a stern but sincere look in her eyes. "I- hmm that's funny..." Up stopped too, and sure enough, the hall's volume had dropped to a quiet mumble. Nevertheless Parkinson continued on, "I know what to do."

After making her way around nearly the entire hall in search for him, and turning everyone who saw her annoyingly silent, Taz had finally spotted Up. By the looks of it he was talking to Commander Parkinson about something important, so she sped her pace up a bit. She was about five metres away from them when a door opened and she was dragged through it sideways.

"Krayonder!"

"Uh, yes sir?"

"I need to talk to you for a minute."

"But...Uh, Up, man, isn't it a party? We're supposed to be having fun, you know? No work!"

"I'm sorry Private but as you know, this business doesn't choose when to present itself. I'm sorry Specs." Up peered round Krayonder to apologize to the engineer who was sitting next to him, and then flushed pink at the suggestion.

"I-uh, of course, Commander: business first, that's how it always is!" She lowered her voice to talk to Krayonder but Up could still hear her, "I don't mind, but please be back soon; I'm getting a bit tired of Megagirl trying to outsmart me." She looked deeply ashamed of what she'd just said, but as soon as Krayonder put his hands over hers she looked back up into his eyes.

"Don't worry Specs," He winked at her, "you'll always come first in my eyes." Luckily for Specs, Krayonder had turned around before he could see the colour she turned at his words. Up walked briskly out of the doors and Krayonder followed, ready for Up to tell him whatever news it was.

All the punching and kicking and screaming in the world wouldn't have made this person stop dragging her down the hallways. When they finally stopped she stupidly tried bolting again but they clamped their hands down on her wrists and squeezed hard. Taz twisted around and got her hands free, and turned back round to punch whoever it was to death, but she stopped: The figure had taken down their hood.

"Sam?" She couldn't believe what she was seeing. The loud-mouth lieutenant who she always ignored was suddenly trying to attack her? What the hell had she done?

"Hijo de puta!" She hit him across the face, leaving a stinging red mark. He touched his cheek gently as he turned back to face her, and to her disgust he was smirking slightly.

"You look pretty tonight, Taz," he sleazed, looking her up and down.

"What does that have to do with it? Jou- jou attacked me! What do jou want?" Again she waited for the right moment, trying to lead him into a false sense of security, make him think he was winning. The smirk was surprisingly replaced by a softer smile, and he leaned forward and put his hands on her shoulders so gently it was like Up did..._No! Jou can't think he's like Up! He's nothing like him! Ugh, idiota!_

"No, no, no, Taz, I didn't attack you! I just wanted to do this..." he walked forwards and she was forced back by his grip on her shoulders, now slightly tighter. Eventually she was pressed into the wall and she leant her head back, trying to get as far away from him as she could. He leant in so far that she could feel his breath on her face, and before he knew what she was doing, he was thrown back against the far wall and Taz was running back the way they came.

Taz yet again cursed the fact that she couldn't run as fast because of her size, and especially tonight. She pushed further through the corridor, but she soon heard heavy footsteps behind her. Doing what instinct told her to do, she stopped dead when the footsteps were at their loudest, turned around and aimed the heaviest punch she could, but he was ready for it. Sam grabbed her wrist and practically threw her back down the corridor. Finally he stopped her and again pushed her back to the wall, the smile that at first looked kind back but now creepy instead of soft.

"Why not, Taz?" He asked, his eyes boring into hers with hurt and something else.

"_Because_, Sam, I...uh-"

"You're not with anyone, are you?" He asked, sliding his hands down to her upper arms. Any naive person would believe his worried tone, but Taz felt physically sick at how patronising he was being.

"No." She kept her voice strong and looked Sam straight in the eye. She didn't even know if it was true or not, but Sam seemed to buy it.

"Well then, why not?" The question was more pressing now, and Taz had a strong desire to tell him about her and Up, but for one thing, Sam was probably one to tell the authorities about any rule-breaking that wasn't his own doing, and also, she still wasn't sure what was going on between them.

"I...I-"

"Tell me why not!" He shouted, his hold on her getting too much. At his outburst Taz immediately filled with rage. No one, and she meant no one, told her what to do like that, especially if they were only in the same rank as her.

"¡PORQUE ERES UN PATÉTICO CABRÓN!" She lurched forward, trying to force her way out of Sam's tight lock on her upper arms. He stepped back, momentarily fazed by the strength of the action, but kept his grip on her, now more pinning her to the wall like a criminal than pushing her gently and romantically. She looked up to his face and saw frustration flash through his eyes before they turned soft again, making him look scarily like a clown with a smile more painted on than real.

"You don't need to run away, Taz." Sam said, his soft tone unnerving, "Stay here with me. I can tell you don't want to be at that party." He was whispering now, but his lips were so close to her ear it felt like his words were blocking out all the noise in the world. "Stay here with me, and we'll have a little party of our own." He leant in again and she spat in his face, and then did the only thing she could do: she started to scream.

"Yes sir!" Good, Krayonder was being enthusiastic about this. He only needed one other man and since Taz hadn't even bothered to turn up to the party, he had to use the resources he had, so an enthusiastic ranger was good.

"Right, we're meeting Parkinson's team in five minutes," Up told Krayonder as they walked through the unusually quiet corridors to their meeting point, "so we'll need to take the back route if we want to stop-" a long, horrifying scream for help came from down a corridor somewhere to the right of him. He looked at Krayonder and he surprisingly looked calmer than he felt.

"It's probably some chick and her boyfriend down there-" Up glared at him, "Uh, I mean, not that that's what usually happens at parties here, uh..." Up rolled his eyes.

"I'd better go and stop whatever's happening down there, I won't be long." He told Krayonder, and he jogged down to where to first corridor bent off. To his surprise though, when he looked down to his left there was nothing but the walls of the corridor where they used to have the ensigns' rooms. He turned and started to walk back, but just as he did there was another scream, this one much louder, and Up realised that the screamer wasn't closer- they were screaming louder. Up looked back down the long corridor; whoever it was, was shouting extremely loud if he could hear it from where he was.

Up shook his head, remembering what he was meant to be doing, and wrote it off as some stupid ensigns who'd had too much to drink.

"Stop screaming you idiot!" Sam yelled at her as he pushed her roughly so that her arms ground painfully against the wall. She gave it all she'd got though, and kicked him in the shin.

"Jou're the idiota! Get de hell off me!" She screamed again now Sam had released his hand from her mouth, but it came back to her cheek viciously as he slapped her around the face. She stumbled backwards at the blow and he rammed her against the wall again so forcefully that the next scream was out of both anger and pain.

Up had just about made his way back to Krayonder when he heard the most sickening scream yet; this one had feeling in it. Then at that moment, he knew who it was. Not because of the voice or how he'd heard it so many times, but because of the wave of emotion that swept over him, telling him that she was enduring something as bad as her nightmares.

"Woah, they should go back to the party, right Up? Up? Hey, Up, man, are you okay?" the Commander had gone as white as a sheet, but as soon as Krayonder had noticed the worry in his face, it was replaced with utter fury.

"Taz..." It was a whisper but Krayonder knew what was happening by the power behind it.

"Go." Up looked up at him and Krayonder nodded with understanding, "Go, man! We're late already, just go!" Up was already sprinting.

"I don't want to do you any harm, Taz," his voice was sickeningly light despite the fact that there was blood dripping down her cheek from a cut next to her eyebrow. She was surprised that when she breathed out there wasn't fire at how livid she was, and she pushed Sam forward again in an attempt to distract him but it was fruitless. Taz decided that she could take a few more hits if it was worth someone noticing her screams, so she threw her head back and let out a bloodcurdling cry so loud that her throat felt like someone had ran a razor down it. She finished just in time for her face to meet Sam's hand. He raised the other palm and Taz gritted her teeth in preparation.

"GET YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS OFF MY LIEUTENANT!" He strode down the corridor with such vehemence that she was surprised his feet didn't leave imprints on the floor. Sam stepped away from her and she wiped away the scarlet liquid that was dripping down the side of her face, but kept one eye on Sam. He knew about Up's injury, so wasn't intimidated by the threat that was probably just going to turn out as a stern talking to. Taz sighed inwardly but got ready for her opportunity to hit him, and Sam repulsively started to laugh.

"What are you going to do about it, you soft-"

"THAT, YOU ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING BASTARD." Up had punched Sam so hard that he now lay on the floor clutching his jaw, and Taz could've sworn she heard a crack. Up spat on the figure crumpled in a heap on the floor before him, then bent down and picked him up by the collar of his shirt. When Sam hit the floor he immediately started running, but he heard Up shout after him,

"DON'T THINK YOU'RE SAFE, SMYTHE, I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!" Up turned to look at her and she saw the anger shrink in his eyes, but then as he looked at her properly she saw something else grow in them.

Taz was wearing something...different, something very different, especially for her. Taz was wearing a dress. It was full-length, and red, and silky, and it had straight straps which weren't too tight on her shoulders, and it was gathered at the top, and red, and stunning, and elegant, and red, and dead-god it was red- the same red that was over the leg of her Quinceañera dress, the same red that suited her so well on her bandana. Her hair, though slightly ruffled now, had been left naturally so that Up realised how long it had gotten: it was nearly down to her shoulders. And he couldn't help marvelling at how stunning she looked in something that she never wanted to wear.

He realised that he'd been openly gawping for a long time when he heard Taz cough, and he looked up to find that Taz had her hands on her hips and the beginnings of her death-glare. He grinned at her and she smirked back.

"You look...beautiful." Her expression suddenly turned cold and she exhaled disgustedly.

"If that's all jou're going to say then jou're just like _him_." She gestured down the corridor, the direction the bastard had just run in. He looked back to her and she was moving her hand away from her face like she'd been rubbing it, but then he noticed the cut on her left cheek. Before his hand could get to it though, she batted him away and looked furiously at the floor.

"What's the matter Taz? I only said you look beautiful, and...you really do." She looked up from the floor and he saw the eye makeup that she didn't need begin to drip down her cheeks. "Taz, tell me what's wrong! Did that bastard hurt you? If he did, I'll-"

"No, es estupida, I'm fine, I just-" She attempted, rubbing frantically at her eyes, but making the black smear more. She gave up eventually and decided to fix him with the hardest glare she could before saying, "I can't believe I was so _weak_." She spat out the word like it was poison. "I p-pushed him away when h-he tried to k-kiss me and-" He did _what? _Up felt his fingers flex and the world slowly tinting red I-I let him get to me and pin me against de wall and...and-"

"What the hell did he do to you?" Hatred suddenly ran through his veins again, turning his eyes dark and his voice murderous. His head was instantly filled with images of Taz and the bastard together and he felt sick to his stomach.

"No, he didn't... y'know," Taz was shaking her head, "...but he kept slapping me over and over again, and I tried to run but I couldn't run fast enough. I was...I was so scared." She finished in a whisper and looked down at the floor again. Up realised why he'd felt the same strange pull on his heart when the screams got louder; she could never run in her nightmares either.

He didn't answer for a while, as he was trying to resist the urge to punch the wall, but when Taz looked back to see him looking impatiently away from her, she took it an entirely different way. Up looked to see her brow crinkle in embarrassment, and when Taz was embarrassed, she began to backtrack.

"Lo siento Up, I'm being un idiota. I wasn't thinking straight and then I didn't know if anyone would hear me screaming and I felt so-" Up's lips came crashing down on hers before she could apologize to him again. The effect was instant: a deep shudder which started at the base of her neck ran all the way down her spine, and the ocean washed over her sense of where she was until she found that Up had backed her gently into the same wall that moments ago she'd been thrown against and attacked, but it felt like an entirely different place. She felt the last two tears slide stubbornly down her face, but before they could fall to the floor, huge but incredibly gentle hands wiped them away.

He couldn't let her feel like he didn't care about her. Taz was the most important thing in the world to him, and he couldn't stand to see her cry or hurt, and neither could he resist kissing her anymore.

As soon as he did though, it felt like his nerves had been set on fire. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think about anything except her. Taz started kissing him back after a few seconds and the fire burned brighter, hotter. He put both hands on her waist and pushed her gently into the wall behind her, wanting to be as close as possible to her. Then, without knowing why, he put his hands on either side of her face and sure enough there were the last tears trailing slowly down her cheeks. As he wiped them away she deepened the kiss and he had to put one hand on the wall to steady himself, the other twisting its fingers through her hair, feeling each individual wave as heat waves hit him through the kiss.

When they eventually pulled away, Taz rested her forehead against his and they both had to catch their breath before speaking again. However when they did, Taz's voice still wasn't back to normal and he could tell there was still something not right.

"I've never been called that before."

"Been called what?" He thought about what he'd just said to her, and then looked back at her normal expression and how her eyes were betraying her. "Beautiful?" She nodded, looking at the floor again. "Never, in your entire life?" He had to clarify. Surely Taz had been called beautiful before, even if it was as a child. She shook her head more forcefully and Up saw her getting annoyed.

"No, okay? I've never been called beautiful. De one time I thought I was going to be called that before, las robotas interrupted." She said, obviously irritated.

"Taz," he said, taking her hands in his. She didn't look at him. "Taz look at me," he tilted her chin up with his finger and thumb and she finally faced him, her expression saying '¿qué?' "You are the most beautiful person in the world, hell, the Universe even. You're beautiful even without a dress or makeup, or even a smile. You are beautiful, even- no, especially, when you

You have always been beautiful to me, and I haven't been brave enough to say it until now, but I promise to tell you every single day for the rest of your life how beautiful you are Taz, because I'll never stop loving y-" It was his turn to be cut off. Taz put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him into another kiss, this one slower and surprisingly romantic for Taz. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they swayed on the spot for a moment, lost in the kiss. When they pulled away Up barely heard the whisper that came from the girl in front of him, but once he'd understood it, it rang about his head like it was the loudest thing he'd ever heard.

"Te amo." He was a starship ranger- of course he spoke a little Spanish, he'd even had to learn languages from alien planets before, but now he was lost for words. Taz was never the affectionate type, quite the opposite really. He'd never expected her to say the three words.

Realising that he hadn't visibly reacted yet, Up quickly kissed her again.

"I love you too, Taz." She'd heard (well, seen really) them before but it made her grin uncharacteristically. This time there was no arguing, no regret and no one leaving. Taz realised that she'd closed her eyes and when she opened them, Up had the biggest smile on his face that she thought she'd even seen him with. "Well," he said cheerfully, taking her hands, "what do you say we try and brave that party, eh?" She shook her head and smirked at him.

"I think I'm brave enough for a party, Up."

_Dios muerto jou're going to walk into a party with Up. And not just with Up, in a dress. Jou're going to be de last one to go through de doors, in a dress, with Up. _

"You okay, Taz?"

"Great." She gave him the most convincing smile she could, and it only worked because she was actually happy to be with him. Just thinking about all those staring eyes made her _a little _nervous. He smiled back then looked like he remembered something.

"Hang on," he said, dropping her hand to get out his communicator from his pocket. She saw him dial Krayonder's number but after that it was all 'yes's and 'ok's, or 'fine' and 'brilliant'. When Up stopped talking and put the communicator back in his pocket, she raised an eyebrow at him, but winced when the aggravated the cut on the side of her head.

"I'll tell you about it later, I promise," he said, then lightly touching the mark where Sam had slapped her too hard, which had just started to bleed again, he continued, "We need to get this sorted out and then we'll head for the party."

For the second time that evening, the main hall's volume dulled to only the conversations of those who hadn't noticed the pair walking in. The music was still thumping and blocking out what could have been a really uncomfortable silence, however the pair could still tell all eyes were on them.

Taz felt Up's grip on her hand tighten as they walked through the sea of people, and she wasn't nervous anymore. Instead she set about giving death-glares to anyone who decided to gawp at her and Up, a certain blonde girl in a lilac dress getting the worst one.

"Like, oh my dead-god! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MAKEUP?" She shrieked, leaving Bug without a dance partner as she flung herself in front of them. Taz was about to make a scathing remark, when Up beat her to it.

"She doesn't need it." He said gruffly, and she felt a warm sensation in her cheeks and her stomach.

"I, uh...well of course, uh..." February blurred into the crowd again. She looked at Up and he gave her a wink so tempting that she had to look away so she didn't pull him down to kiss her again right there. But of course, she couldn't; it wasn't just because of the prying eyes and whispering that she hated, but it hit her with a deep pang to her stomach yet again that, they could never be together as Commander and Lieutenant- not in public and not easily anyway.

All of a sudden they stopped, and Up swung her round so he was holding both of her tiny hands in his huge ones. She opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing, then realised where they were.

"Fancy a dance, Lieutenant?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head at him, smiling.

"Won't we-?"

"One dance won't hurt Taz. We're just a commander and lieutenant, just sharing one dance, when everyone else is dancing too." She looked around at the couples on the floor with them, back dancing but all too obviously eavesdropping. She sighed and looked back at him with hesitation in her eyes. "Just ignore them." He whispered, taking her waist.

"Who's 'them'? It's only you and me here," she mumbled back, giving him a small smile as she reached her arms up and wrapped them around his neck.

Up couldn't believe how different Taz looked tonight. It wasn't the dress, or the fact that she was actually wearing heels, or that he'd just seen her with makeup on; it was that she'd dropped walls around her heart. Sure, she was still glaring at people and he was sure she had her knife on her somewhere, but there were no barriers- nothing in her eyes that made him doubt whether she loved him. She was... _peaceful_.

And that was why as he held her in his arms and they started swaying gently to the slow song that to them was in the background, he couldn't resist the temptation anymore. He didn't care about the stupid rules, or even the fact that he might lose his status; all he knew was that he wanted to kiss the woman he loved. So he did.

It was all too much: the darkness, the music, the fact that she thought she might be swallowed up by Up's eyes any second- the temptation was so hard to fight that when Up pulled her closer and leant down she didn't think about anything else.

"Well, well, well, isn't this a _surprise_?" _No. _They'd lose their jobs, they wouldn't be able to run a crew anymore. At the sound of the booming voice she broke away from Up, but he kept her close in his arms. She turned to see the man who'd given them their awards: Dr Space-Claw. Literally the worst person who could catch them together: the Head of the whole GLEE. Mierda. "You know, I think we were all anticipating that for a long time, but I never expected such..._professionals, _to allow this." He gestured at them in a mechanical way. Taz could do nothing but look at Up, who looked surprisingly calm through all this. "Well," Space-Claw continued, walking towards them, "I thought you would know better than to break such a high rule in front of the Head of the whole Galactic-"

"Oh I don't think you'll be that for much longer, Space-Claw." They spun around to who he was looking past them at, and Commander Parkinson stepped from behind the frozen crowd. She was followed by Krayonder, Lieutenant Walker and an ensign holding a rather heavy-looking book.

"What do you want, Parkinson?" Space-Claw snapped, and Taz and Up found themselves looking back and forth between them like some odd tennis match.

"I want to answers, Space-Claw. Answers to why you had several Commanders assassinated, why you attempted to ruin the reputation of one of the best ones the GLEE has ever seen, and why, with your petty little rules, you have corrupted the very heart of the Galactic League itself." Assassinated? Ruin Up? Corrupted? Taz knew that Space-Claw wasn't the kindest of people, or even the wisest, but he was the Head of the GLEE: surely someone would have risen against him, noticed that there was something wrong. But then she thought back, to how Hibbart had repeatedly blamed the threats she was given about going on that mission on 'the GLEE', to the flash of a red laser beam that killed him, to Junior's constant talk of how his dad was the 'Head of the whole Galactic League', and how he turned out to be the one who wanted to destroy the whole population of a planet. Finally she thought way back to the blurry speech of multiple doctors, telling her that the 'fantastic new technology' that Dr Space-Claw had 'saved Up's life' and that he would be 'just like normal', yet none of them being able to tell her more than that, or even where the famous life-saving doctor had disappeared to.

She looked at Up and he nodded, almost knowing what she was thinking about. Space-Claw grunted but didn't reply, producing a smile from Commander Parkinson as she gave her cryptic question.

"Have you been working with robots, Dr Space-Claw?" The man spluttered and gave a laugh as false as Chloe's, which reminded him...

"Of course I have! We made them our slaves after the war!"

"You know I didn't mean that Space-Claw. Eyewitnesses of the murder- yes, they were murders! Of crews and commanders have all reported that their deaths were due to lasers or _robotic activity_. The only known human who has knowledge of how robots can become...how shall I put it? Ah- _rouge_, is you, Dr Space-Claw, and yet there was no investigation launched into why they were this way."

"Ha- well aren't you clever? I'd like to say that you seem to have done your research, but I'm afraid everything you've said so far is absolutely, utterly wrong. With no evidence-"

"Well I hate to cut you off again, Dr Space-Claw, but we do in fact, have evidence."

"O-ho! Really? Where is this ground-breaking evidence then?"

"Krayonder, show the man our evidence." Taz's eyes widened in astonishment as Krayonder reached into the crowd and pulled out none other than Chloe, hanging her head low and avoiding Space-Claw's black eyes which were showing more and more signs of anger by the second. Commander Parkinson gestured to Chloe as she continued, "This girl has told us all about how you lured her into your little scheme, and in return we have agreed not to punish her that severely. You, however, I'm delighted to say, are not so lucky." She stepped past Space-Claw, then behind him, and Taz heard the familiar laser 'vmm' sound of hand-cuffs. "Dr Space-Claw, I am arresting you on multiple counts of murder, attempted murder of four others, improper use of robotic technology and the corruption of the Galactic League of Extra-Terrestrial Exploration. You shall be held in the most highly-guarded prison known in the Galaxy until your..._unfortunate_ death, and you shall no more be known as any title at all, least of which will be the Head of the Galactic League."

Up felt a thrilling rush of achievement as he watched Commander Parkinson walk Space-Claw out of the main hall in hand-cuffs. They'd done it- they'd finally done it. He caught Chloe out of the corner of his eye and she gave him a sad nod before disappearing into the crowd again, and he felt thankful that she'd done the right thing, even if it was awfully late.

Krayonder, as usual, was the first to start the cheers.

"YEAH, MAN! THE EVIL DUDE'S GONE!" Applause erupted from around him, and he had to go through what seemed like hundreds of people- clapping him on the back, hugging him and celebrating with him- before he got to the only person he really wanted to see at that moment.

She'd just finished a rather awkward hug from Specs when she saw him approaching her through the crowd. They'd gotten separated in the debate between Parkinson and Space-Claw's debate, and she wasn't planning on it being that way for much longer. His eyes seemed to glow an even brighter blue in the darkness, and she nearly lost her balance when she realised that she could take in all his muscles, still visible beneath the tuxedo he was wearing. When he eventually reached her, they slipped into the same position they'd been in not twenty minutes ago, and then she couldn't see anyone else but him.

"Now...where were we?" He asked smugly, his moving hands on her back making her shudder.

"Just kiss me again, ese," she whispered, and she was glad that the ocean could meet fire, whenever they liked.


End file.
